The Ten-Year Gap
by shana852963
Summary: 10 years ago, Freddie left his friends behind after being recruited by a top-secret government agency. Now his time has been served and all he wants to do is reconnect with the people he left behind, especially a certain blonde. After finding Sam, though, he learns just what he's missed, and discovers that the feelings he's always harbored deep down for her didn't fade with time.
1. Chapter 1

**AN-For the purpose of this story, there was NO Sam & Cat after iGoodbye.**

…**.**

Freddie sat in the back of the van that he had been a passenger in for the past six hours, looking out the window and struggling to keep his eyes open. Before he had gotten into the van, he had spent the last twenty hours hopping from plane to plane, barely managing to get any rest in along the way.

"We're almost there, Agent Benson," the driver said front. "Another ten minutes should do it."

"Great, thanks," Freddie yawned. "And, um, you can call me Freddie, you know. I'm not on duty any more."

"Of course," the driver nodded.

"So where are we, anyway?" Freddie asked. "No one did tell me where I was moving to…they just gave me my plane tickets."

"We're in New Jersey, Agent Benson," the driver replied. "Trenton, to be exact."

"Trenton…" Freddie repeated. "Well, I guess this is home now."

For the past ten years, Freddie had been cut off from his friends and family as he worked with a secret government agency overseas as a computer technician and specialist. This was his first time back in the United States since he left.

It was rough, at first, getting used to the idea that he basically had to leave his entire life behind him, but he loved what he did there. He had access to some of the most confidential databases and he sometimes felt as though he were in the old spy movies he liked to watch. It was certainly a step up from the calm life he had been used to for so long.

Though there were times when he found himself missing his old friends.

He missed Spencer's sculptures, he missed Carly's kindness, and he missed Gibby's Gibbiness.

Most of all, though, he missed Sam. She was the one who crept into his thoughts almost every day, the one who he urged to sneak a phone call to most.

He sighed as he rested his head against the window, thinking back to one of the last conversations he had had with her…

…..

"_Wow," Sam said as she sat next to Freddie on the windowsill of his fire escape, staring at the letter in his hands. "So it's official?"_

"_I've been asked to be apart of one of the top government services in the country because of my paper on rerouting data lines," Freddie nodded, still not believing the news he had just received. _

"_So is this like, the CIA or something?" Sam asked. _

"_It's a branch of the CIA," Freddie explained. _

"_Wow, who would've thought nerdy Freddie Benson would be a secret spy," Sam grinned. _

"_I'm not a spy," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "But I would be an agent."_

"_Hmm, I guess they just hand that title out nowadays," Sam said jokingly. She looked back at the letter. "Seriously, dude, I didn't even know you were interested in this sort of thing."_

"_To be honest, it's never really crossed my mind," Freddie told her. _

"_Then how did you get this?" Sam asked. _

"_I told you, it was that paper I wrote for my MIT application," Freddie said. "About rerouting data lines to get information from neighboring servers in order to get access to competing information. Somehow one of the officials from this organization got his hands on it and called me a couple of weeks ago and set up a webcam interview. I just didn't want to say anything until I made up my mind. But, well, I did."_

"_So you're gonna do it?" Sam asked. "Like, for sure?"_

"_I am," Freddie nodded. _

"_Dang," Sam said, raising an eyebrow. "That's some news…when you told me you had something to tell me earlier I figured you had lost one of your lame __**Galaxy Wars **__figures again."_

_Freddie laughed._

"_So…how's your mom taking this?" Sam asked. _

"_Not well," Freddie said heavily. "It took her forever to get used to the idea of me going across the country to MIT. Now I have to leave the country…"_

"_Wait, what?" Sam frowned. "You're leaving the country?"_

"_Yeah," Freddie mumbled. "That's, um, what I really wanted to talk to you about. I-I have to move overseas for this position."_

"_Where?" Sam asked softly._

"_I don't know," Freddie said. "I don't find out until I board my plane. And-And even when I do find out, I'm not allowed to disclose my location to anybody."_

"_Oh," Sam said. "Are you allowed to call or anything?"_

_Freddie shook his head. "No."_

"_Ah," Sam nodded. "Well, um, I guess that's smart…if you're with a secret service organization, it shouldn't be easy to find you, right?"_

"_Right," Freddie agreed. _

"_Well, um, congratulations then," Sam smiled, patting his shoulder. "This is huge! We should celebrate or something! When do you leave?"_

"_A week from Friday," Freddie told her. "That's when I start training."_

"_We can have a party at Spencer's place," Sam continued. "And maybe Carly can fly back from Italy. Although she was supposed to already be back to graduate with us last month…I guess she's really enjoying herself."_

"_Hey," Freddie said gently. "You-You going to be okay here by yourself?"_

"_What? Pfft, I'll be fine!" Sam said. "Mama can take care of herself."_

"_It's just got to be weird…" Freddie shrugged. "First Carly moves to Italy and now I'm leaving the country too."_

"_Yeah," Sam sighed. "But, hey, we all knew we were gonna go off in different directions someday, right? Besides, I won't be sticking around Seattle too much longer anyway. I'm going to culinary school in New York in a few months, remember?"_

"_That's right," Freddie nodded. "That's big…what do you think you'll do there?"_

"_I dunno," Sam said. "I want to sort of open a restaurant or something. I mean, what else can I do with a degree from culinary school? Build houses?"_

"_You'll open the best restaurant in the country," Freddie told her. "Anyone as passionate about food as you will do great in the business." _

"_Well maybe you can swing by when your done being a secret agent," Sam grinned. "Wait…how long __**are **__you gonna be gone? A year?"_

_Freddie looked down at his lap. "Try ten."_

"_Ten years?" Sam exclaimed. "For ten years you're just gonna be gone? Off the map? Exiled?"_

"_Basically," Freddie told her. "That was the minimum number of years I could commit to when I took the job."_

_Sam rested her chin on her knees. "That's a really long time."_

"_Tell me about it."_

_The two were silent for a few moments._

"_Good thing your such a nub," Sam said quietly. "Maybe I won't miss you so much then."_

"_Good thing you're a blonde-headed demon," Freddie smirked. "Maybe I won't miss __**you **__so much."_

_The two stared at each other before wrapping their arms around one another. _

_As they sat there, Freddie took a moment to appreciate just how much history the two of them had on this fire escape._

_They shared their first kiss here. When they broke up, this was the spot they went to so they could enjoy each other for a few more hours. And now this was where they were going to say goodbye. _

"_Hey, ten years will end eventually," Freddie said when the two pulled away. "And when it does…I'll find that restaurant of yours and order us some fried chicken to share."_

"_I don't share, Fredwad," Sam grinned. "But I'll hold you to that deal."_

"_I might have to bring my mom with me," Freddie said. "After not seeing me for ten years she might just handcuff us together."_

"_Now that's a nightmare," Sam cringed. _

"_Sure is," Freddie laughed. "Sure is."_

…

"Your new apartment has been set up for you already," the driver said, snapping Freddie back into reality as they turned down a street, the few stores that were still open glistening underneath their lights. "If there are any concerns, Peters said to give him a call."

"Okay," Freddie said sleepily, still looking out the window, watching the shops pass. "I'm sure the place is fine though. I'm not picky."

Suddenly, Freddie's eyes caught sight of a red neon sign in the distance. He squinted, trying to make out what it read.

"Puckett's Country Cooking…" he read.

And then suddenly, a surge of hope rippled through him.

"Hey, can you stop at that restaurant, please?" Freddie asked the driver desperately.

"Are you hungry, Agent Benson?" the driver asked.

"Starving," Freddie smiled as he turned into the parking lot.


	2. Chapter 2

As Freddie stepped out of the car, he realized it was drizzling. But he didn't care. He ran up the steps to the restaurant and pushed open the glass door, immediately being greeted by the scent of fried chicken and barbecue sauce.

He looked around slowly, taking in the restaurant. He figured it must be close to closing time, as only a few customers were left talking over large slices of pecan pie.

The restaurant itself looked amazing; it was homey, yet extravagant. It definitely looked like it had the Sam Puckett charm to it.

"Sir?"

Freddie turned around towards a bar a few yards away from him, where a young man and woman were smiling at him.

"Can we get you anything?" the woman asked him. "We're just about to close, so we need to get your order in fast if you want food."

"Um, actually, I have a question," Freddie said, approaching the bar. "This restaurant…who is it owned by?"

"Us," the man said.

Freddie's stomach dropped. He should've figured that. What did he expect? For him to find Sam's restaurant first thing when he got back into the country?

"Oh," he said. "Right. Well then-"

"We're partial owners, actually," the woman explained. "The two of us and our friend run the place together."

"Who's the third owner?" Freddie asked slowly, the hopeful feeling inside of him lighting up again.

"The person who the place is named after," the man replied. "Sam Puckett."

At the sound of Sam's name, Freddie felt a grin creep onto his face. "I knew it…" he said.

"Um, I'm sorry, but do we know you?" the woman asked. "It's just, a lot of people don't really come in here asking about the name. They're more interested in getting some of our fried chicken and gravy."

"Is Sam here?" Freddie asked quickly.

"Why?" the man asked suspiciously. "Who are you?"

"I-I'm an old friend," Freddie said. "Please, just tell her Freddie Benson is here and she'll-"

"Hey, remind me to order more flour and garlic salt tomorrow when I call the supplier," said a familiar voice coming out a door behind the bar. "We're almost out."

She looked like she hadn't aged a bit in the ten years it had been since he saw her. Sam's blonde hair still hung around her shoulders in beautiful, simple curls, and her blue eyes still sparkled like the surface of the ocean.

And suddenly, Freddie wondered how he had been able to go so long without seeing her.

"Sam," he said softly, still hardly daring to believe his old friend was in front of him the first time in forever.

Sam looked over at him. It took her all but five seconds to realize who this stranger standing in her restaurant was.

"No way…" she gasped, jumping the counter. "Freddie? Freddie!"

Freddie beamed as he threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly.

"Oh my God, you're back!" Sam exclaimed.

"Yeah," Freddie laughed. "Ten years ended yesterday."

"I-How did you-How did you find the place?" Sam asked.

"I told you," Freddie said, his eyes sparkling. "Once my ten years was up, I would meet you in your restaurant. I was driving by here on my way to my new place and I saw the sign and figured…maybe."

"Wait, your new place?" Sam said. "You _live _here now?"

"Sure do," Freddie nodded.

"Where? Are you nearby?"

"Um, actually, I don't exactly know where my new apartment is," Freddie chuckled. "I'm being driven there now."

"You just got dumped in New Jersey?" Sam asked.

"Pretty much."

"Well, um, we need to catch up," Sam said.

"Definitely," Freddie agreed.

"Especially since you promised we'd do that over some fried chicken," Sam added.

"You actually _remember _that?" Freddie chuckled.

"Hey, Mama doesn't forget promises about her favorite foods," Sam replied, and Freddie felt at strong sense of familiarity knowing Sam still referred to herself as 'Mama'. "I'd bring some out now, but I just finished cleaning out my deep fryer. Maybe you can, um, come back tomorrow? If you're not busy."

"No, I'm free," Freddie said at once. "What time?"

"Around eleven it's usually pretty quiet in here," Sam said. "It's the calm before our lunch rush."

"I'll be here at eleven then," Freddie said brightly.

"You better be," Sam said, holding her arms out to give him another hug.

As she put her arms around his neck, Freddie felt something tiny press into his neck. When she pulled away, Freddie saw what it was.

On her left hand there was a wedding ring.

He tried not to stare at it for more than a second, and forced his eyes back up to Sam's.

"So, um, my-my driver is in the parking lot…I don't want to keep him waiting."

"You have a _driver_?" Sam scoffed.

"Just for tonight," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, well I need to get going soon too," Sam said. "So I'll see you tomorrow then, nub."

Freddie smiled at the sound of his old nickname. "I'll see you."

He gave her one last fleeting glance as he turned and headed out of the restaurant, back to the parked van.

_My God…I can't believe I found her already_, Freddie thought to himself as he climbed back into the van.

It was as though he had located a piece of his own self that had been missing for the past ten years. He couldn't wait until tomorrow, when he would get to spend some real time with her.

What would they talk about? He didn't care. All he cared about was finally being able to have the blonde back in his life again.

As the driver pulled out of the parking lot, though, his thoughts wandered back to the wedding ring he had seen Sam wearing.

He don't know why, but he felt somewhat disappointed. But then again, it _had _been ten years.

_I wonder how long she's been married, _Freddie said to himself. _I wonder if he's nice…I hope he is. Sam deserves someone like that…_

But even though Freddie was still besides with pure joy from being reunited with Sam, he couldn't help but think that he would have been even happier if that finger had been bare.

…

"So who's that?"  
Sam looked over at the woman behind the bar, who was raising an eyebrow expectantly.

"A friend," Sam said simply, hopping back over the bar.

"A friend?" the woman repeated. "That's what you're gonna go with?"

"You remember I told you I had a friend in the CIA?" Sam said. "That's him. I haven't been able to talk to him for ten years."

"Whoa, I thought you were making that up," the man said.

Sam rolled her eyes as she headed back into the room behind the bar, the other two at her heels.

"Nope," Sam said softly, sitting down on a large couch next to a desk. On the couch next to her was a small girl with long, unruly blonde hair, fast asleep. Sam smiled down at her daughter, gently stroking her hair.

"Hey, it's late," the woman said to Sam. "You've been here all day. Take Roxy and Liam home. Garry and I will finish cleaning up."

Sam nodded, getting up and heading to the playpen set up on the other side of the room, where her six-month old son was sleeping just like his sister. "Thanks, Kenna."

"Want me to wake Roxy up?" Garry asked.

"No, she won't go back to sleep if you do," Sam sighed. "Can you just carry her to the car for me?"

"Sure," Garry nodded, gently picking up the four-year old.

"She sleeping through the night again yet?" Kenna asked Sam quietly.

"Nope," Sam said heavily. "She'll probably wake up around three."

Kenna nodded, giving Sam a sympathetic smile.

"I'll see you guys in the morning," Sam said.

"Bye," Kenna said as Garry followed Sam out with a sleeping Roxy in his arms.

Sam arrived home to her townhouse a few moments later, glancing at the For Sale sign that had been stuck up in her front yard for close to five months now.

She opened up the back of her car and skillfully picked up both her children without waking them. She managed to get the front door open and softly closed it behind her, praying not to startle the kids as she set the two alarm systems she had installed. She needed to be at the restaurant at six the next morning as she hoped to at least get _some _sleep.

She headed into her bedroom, passing Liam's half-finished nursery on her way. She knew she really should get around to finishing it, but there was never any time in the day. Besides, she kept hoping she could find a buyer for the place, so what good would it do to finish it up now anyway?

She placed Liam in his crib by her window and then laid Roxy down on her own bed, knowing very well if Roxy woke up alone in her room, she'd wake up screaming her head off. She always thought how odd it must seem that even though their home had four bedrooms, the entire family slept in one room.

Sam kicked off her shoes and then, not even bothering to undress, laid down next to her daughter, her mind racing.

If someone had told her earlier that day that she would actually get to see Freddie Benson again, she probably would've told them they were crazy. But yet, he had shown up in the flesh less than an hour ago…

_I can't believe he's actually back_, Sam thought to herself, rolling over on her side. _I wonder if he's changed…He seems the same, at least. I guess I'll find out if he's any different tomorrow. _

And with thoughts about what tomorrow would be like, getting to actually catch up with Freddie for the first time in ten years, she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time Freddie woke up the next morning, it was nearly ten.

He cursed under his breath as he jumped out of his bed and rushed into the shower. He had meant to wake up an hour ago, but he supposed all the travel he had done earlier had taken more out of him than he thought.

He hadn't even gotten a chance to explore his new apartment. From what he could tell, it was nice enough. He wasn't in a position to complain either way, though. The place was being paid for in full by the organization he was a part of. They had gotten him a home in New Jersey so that he could start his new job; just because he was no longer out on the field with them, didn't mean they were done with him. This new position was far less demanding, however, and involved him working in a simple office from nine-to-five analyzing data that was brought to him. He would be starting in a week, and as much as he had enjoyed being the big-shot analyst for the past ten years, he was glad to have a chance to calm it down.

Especially now that he had found Sam.

As he dried his hair quickly with a towel, Freddie wondered whether him and Sam would be able to fall right back where they had left off, or if it would be awkward after such a long period of time had passed since they had last really talked.

When they had last talked ten years ago, the two were the best friends they had ever been. Sure, Sam still picked on him and would occasionally give him a punch or two in the arm, but their last year of high school had really brought them closer. Maybe it was because Carly had been away in Italy and they had no choice _but _to get along or be forced to spend their days alone. Or maybe it was because after a year of subtle awkwardness after they had broken-up from their brief dating period, they finally felt more comfortable around one another.

Freddie smiled to himself, pulling on a shirt, as he thought back to that month in high school when him and Sam were a couple. That had certainly been an experience. Even though him and Sam had ended their relationship on mutual terms, he remembered how strange and confusing it was being around her for the longest time afterwards. Yet even when that stage passed, he for one knew that he had still harbored lingering feelings for the blonde. Whenever she would bug him until he agreed to let her copy his homework, he would internally smile at the way her nose crinkled as she got more and more frustrated. Whenever they would sit and watch a movie together, he would always enjoy the way the scent of her coconut shampoo would drift over to him. It was all those little things.

Yet Freddie managed to stay strong enough the whole time and never once acted on his feelings. If there was one thing Sam had taught him, it was that it was sometimes easier to just swallow your emotions.

Still, he did wish that the two had exchanged more than a hug that last night they had talked.

But now that ten years had passed, Freddie felt fully confident that whatever leftover feelings he might have had towards Sam back then had finally dissolved. After all, he didn't have much choice; Sam _was_ married now, according to that ring on her finger.

Freddie checked his appearance in the mirror before grabbing his wallet and heading out of his apartment.

Nope, he wasn't going to even think about _those _feelings he used to have towards Sam. Instead, he was just going to appreciate the fact that he had one of his best friends back. Who knew? Maybe she would call Carly and Spencer and Gibby over soon and the five of them could have a long overdue reunion, something he had been dreaming about since he left the country.

….

"Okay, here you go, get dressed, sweetie," Sam yawned, handing her daughter a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

Roxy silently took the clothes and began pulling them on.

Sam sighed and kneeled down in front of her daughter to ask her the same question she had been asking everyday for the past nine months.

"You gonna talk for mommy today?"

Roxy looked down and quickly shook her head in response.

Sam nodded sadly, being quite used to that answer. She walked over to her son's crib where the infant was already awake, babbling happily to himself.

"You guys will eat breakfast at the restaurant while I start baking all of the biscuits," Sam said, running a brush through her own hair before lifting Liam into her arms. "Roxy, don't forget your backpack, okay?"

The four-year old tugged on her mother's sleeve, causing Sam to look down. She did a few signs with her hands.

_At least she's getting the hang of the sign language she's been learning_, Sam thought to herself. _Now if only she would just work on __**talking**__ again._

"Yes, honey, your jacket is still in the car where you left it," Sam replied. "Make sure you wear it when you go outside for recess today, it's supposed to be chilly in the afternoon."

She grabbed her own jacket and pulled it on as Liam grabbed a fistful of her hair.

"Ouch! Liam, stop. You don't pull mommy's hair. Alright, let's go before we're late and Aunt Kenna tries to eat the first batch of bacon without us."

It was still dark out when Sam stepped outside, but she was used to it.

Her two children always came to the restaurant with her. Liam would stay in his playpen in the office most of day while Sam kept a baby monitor in her back pocket and checked on him often. Liam seemed to enjoy it, though, especially since Garry spent a lot of time back there working on the restaurant's finances. Roxy would eat her breakfast at the restaurant before Sam dropped her off at the preschool across the street. After that she followed Sam around as she waited on tables and helped Kenna in the kitchen.

As Sam got into her car, she suddenly remembered what today had in store besides the usual restaurant hustle.

Freddie was going to meet her today!

There was so much she wanted to talk to him about, and she couldn't wait to hear how his past ten years were.

It would be nice to have _one_ part of her past back, she figured.

…..

"You think we should get some T.V.'s or something for this place?" Sam asked Kenna a few hours later after the breakfast crowd had cleared out of the restaurant.

"Wouldn't that just make people stay and sit around longer?" Kenna pointed out, filling up two maple syrup containers.

"Wow, I thought I was the one who hated people," Sam grinned.

"You rubbed off on me, what can I say?" Kenna grinned. "After ten years of being best friends, it was bound to happen."

"I guess," Sam said, looking at the clock for the eighth time in the last ten minutes.

"It's not eleven yet," Kenna smiled knowingly.

"Shut up," Sam mumbled.

"So do I get to talk to this Freddie too?" Kenna asked.

"Pfft, no," Sam scoffed. "We both can't take a break at the same time. You deal with the customers."

"Wow, someone's bossy this morning," Kenna commented.

"Yeah, because _someone _threw away the leftover bacon instead of saving it for me!" Sam smirked.

"Consider that payback for drinking my root beer the other day," Kenna grinned. She set down the maple syrup. "Hey, you realize we haven't done something together for like, ever?"

"We work together every day, genius," Sam pointed out.

"You know what I mean," Kenna said, rolling her eyes. "Hey, let's go to the movies Saturday; we close early. Garry can watch Roxy and Liam."

"Can't," Sam said. "Saturdays are Roxy's appointments."

"Oh," Kenna nodded. "Right…She's-She's still not talking? Not even a little bit?"

"Nope, that's why her therapist started teaching her sign language," Sam sighed.

"Hey, she'll get over it," Kenna said, squeezing Sam's shoulder. "It's just a phase."

"A nine-month phase," Sam muttered.

Just then the restaurant door opened and Freddie walked in.

"Hey!" Sam smiled, her face instantly lighting up. "You're early."

"I know, I'm still used to this rule they had for us overseas," Freddie chuckled. "Early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable."

"That sounds _horrible_," Sam cringed. She turned to Kenna. "I'm taking my break. Go get us that fried chicken I made."

"Seriously, _bossy_," Kenna said, shaking her head. She extended a hand towards Freddie. "Hi, we didn't get a chance to properly meet last night. I'm Kenna, Sam's best friend and business partner."

"Hi, nice to meet you," Freddie said, shaking her hand.

_Best friend_? Freddie thought. Wasn't that a title Sam reserved for _another _brunette?

"Come on, let's grab that booth there," Sam said.

Freddie followed her, sitting down across from the blonde.

"So," Sam said. "You're really here…"

"In the flesh," Freddie grinned.

"Well what are you doing in New Jersey of all places?" Sam asked.

"It's where the organization is putting me for my new job," Freddie said.

"What? You're not gonna be leaving for another ten years, are you?"

"Nah, it's a desk job in some office," Freddie explained.

"Oh," Sam nodded. "Well, um, I'm sure your mom's happy about that. Hey, why haven't you been dragged back to Seattle yet? I'm sure your batty mom's been going nut the last ten years without her precious Freddikins. Or is she on her way here now to permanently glue herself to you or something?"

Freddie looked down at his lap. "Actually, um, my mom died six years ago."

Sam blinked. "She-She-Oh my God…I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"It's okay," Freddie said quickly. "She, um, apparently got really sick after I left. Well, probably _because _I left. I don't think she ever really got over that."

"It wasn't your fault," Sam said.

"They let me at least go to her funeral," Freddie continued. He looked back up. "But hey, I didn't come back here to be all depressed. Tell me about this restaurant of yours, it looks great!"

"Thanks," Sam said. "It took forever to fix up. You know this place was just a worn down storage garage when we bought it?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, after culinary school, I kept trying to find some place up in New York to open up a restaurant, but everything was so dang expensive," Sam explained. "So I looked down here, found this place, and Kenna and Garry, that guy you saw last night, helped turn it into this."

"Well it looks amazing," Freddie said.

"This is our sixth year," Sam said proudly.

"You like running the restaurant?"

"It's rough, but I couldn't see myself doing anything else," Sam shrugged. "I met Kenna in culinary school, so her and I do all the cooking, and Gary takes care of the behind-the-scenes stuff. But enough with the restaurant, what about you? You've been busy being a spy!"

"I told you when I left, I wasn't a spy," Freddie chuckled. "But it was still pretty cool…really cool. You should see some of the technology that's out there that isn't available to the public."

"Did you get to put your nerdy computer skills to good use?" Sam smirked.

"I did," Freddie grinned. "Hey, catch me up on everything I've missed. How's Spencer and Gibby and Carly?"

"Spencer's good, he still lives in Seattle, but he moved out of Bushwell and into his wife's apartment," Sam explained.

"He has a _wife_?" Freddie frowned. "Spencer?"

"Yeah, believe it or not, she's not bad looking," Sam said. "She's an artist too. I saw them about five years ago…Gibby's, get this, a male model."

Freddie nearly choked on his drink. "What?"

"He's a hand model in L.A.," Sam explained. "Apparently he was discovered at some sushi joint…I haven't talked to him in awhile."

"What about Carly?" Freddie asked.

Sam looked down at her glass. "She's still in Italy."

"Wait, _still_?" Freddie said. "I-I know she decided she was gonna graduate high school there and everything, but she was supposed to come back after that."

"Yeah, she was," Sam said. "But she got into this elite design school there and decided to pursue fashion instead of coming back to the U.S."

"Do-Do you still talk to her?" Freddie asked.

"At first we talked a lot, yeah," Sam nodded. "She's visited a few times too. I think the last time she was here was about three years ago for fashion week in New York…But I called her almost a year ago and she told me she was in some important meeting and that she'd call me back…I'm still waiting for that call."

"Oh…" Freddie said slowly.

"But hey, maybe if she finds out your finally back, she'll come visit or something," Sam said. "You should give her a call. I'll give you her number later."

"Yeah, that would be a lot of fun, the three of us could hang out just like the old days," Freddie nodded.

"Yeah…just like the old days," Sam echoed.

Freddie glanced down at her hand on the table, where her wedding ring was in the exact same place it was last night. Should he ask about her husband? Or did he wait for her to bring him up? Maybe he should-

Suddenly Sam's phone rang, snapping Freddie out of his thoughts.

"Hang on, sorry," Sam said, pulling her phone out of her pocket and quickly answering it. "Hello?"

She sighed. "Again? Yeah…yeah I can be there in a few minutes. Thanks."

"Everything okay?" Freddie asked.

"Yeah, I-I just need to run out for a sec," Sam said, getting to her feet. "But wait here! I'll be back."

"Um, okay," Freddie nodded.

He watched Sam run to the bar and tell Kenna something before hurrying out of the restaurant.


	4. Chapter 4

A few minutes after Sam left, Freddie found himself looking around the restaurant, taking in what he had missed during his brief visit last night. He couldn't imagine all the hard work Sam must've put into this place; he wouldn't have ever known this place used to be anything less than what it currently was.

He spotted a corkboard behind the bar, next to the cash register, covered in what looked like personal photos. Curiosity getting the best of him, Freddie left the booth to get a better look.

The must've been one hundred pictures, all cut out and craftily collaged onto that board. He instantly spotted a photo of Sam and Kenna in the middle, both holding up what looked like their degrees from culinary school. Freddie smiled, realizing how proud Sam must've been that day.

He looked at the rest of the pictures, trying to see if they would help him at least get a glimpse at what he had missed during the past ten years. He gathered from the many pictures of Kenna and the man, who Sam said was named Garry, together, that they were a couple. He wondered if that ever made Sam feel left out…He saw a few pictures of Sam with her Uncle Carmine, and then one of her in a stunning white wedding dress, hugging Spencer.

Freddie's eyes lingered on this picture. She really looked beautiful. Her blonde curls were up in an elegant bun and her signature smirk was etched on her face. Freddie found himself wishing that he would've gotten a chance to attend Sam's wedding. And then, barely even a second after that thought crossed his mind, he wondered if he even would've wanted to be there as she married some stranger.

_Of course you would've_, Freddie told himself firmly. _She's your friend. _

And then Freddie's eyes drifted to the picture underneath the one of Sam and Spencer. It showed a laughing Sam sitting on the lap of a handsome man, who looked to be laughing just as hard as she was.

_That must be him,_ Freddie slowly realized. _Sam's husband._

He felt his stomach drop, as though finally being able to put a face to this mysterious man was the final blow that made Sam's marriage official.

Sam and her husband each had their arms around a small girl who looked no older than two or three.

_And that has to be her daughter_, Freddie thought to himself. _She really has a perfect little family…_

What Freddie couldn't seem to get over, though, was how _happy _Sam looked in that photo. It seemed as though she didn't have a care in the world with that man next to her.

Freddie remembered that look; he had seen it a few times back when they had dated. He couldn't believe that he had actually been naive enough to think back then that only he would ever be able to make her smile like that.

Freddie shook his head. _You can't change this,_ he told himself. _Sam's obviously very well off with whoever this husband of hers is…No use focusing on the past._

"Hey, I have your fried chicken."  
Freddie turned around and saw Kenna behind him with a large plate of delicious smelling chicken. She looked back at the corkboard Freddie had just been staring at, and he got the sense that she knew exactly which picture he had been fixated on.

"Thanks," Freddie said, taking the plate from her.

"I'd wait until Sam gets back before you start on that," Kenna told him. "Unless you're feeling suicidal this morning."

"Pfft, trust me, I may have been away for ten years, but I still know better than to come between Sam Puckett and her food…Oh, I-I'm guessing her last name isn't Puckett anymore, right?"

Kenna gave him a small smile. "It's Puckett-Anderson. She said she'd never completely change her last name because then she'd have to change the name of the restaurant."

Freddie nodded. "Yeah…she'd probably hate to do the paperwork for that."

"So," Kenna said, resting her elbows on the bar countertop. "You've really known Sam almost her whole life like she's always said?"

"Er yeah, pretty much," Freddie said.

_So Sam __**has **__talked about me while I was away_…

"Since the fifth grade, right?"

"Yeah," Freddie confirmed. "We actually started out more as enemies than friends. It's when we started doing this web show-"

"iCarly," Kenna nodded. "Yeah, I've heard."

"Oh…sorry, didn't expect you to be so up-to-speed," Freddie said. "I guess you and Sam must really be, um, close friends."

He couldn't bring himself to use the term 'best friend' to describe any friend of Sam's besides Carly. It was too weird.

"We are," Kenna said. "Anyway…I've seen a few clips from your web show. Sam used to show them to me all the time. You did a really good job with all the tech stuff."

"Thanks," Freddie smiled. "Glad to hear someone appreciated it. Carly and Sam usually got all the attention from the show. Oh, um, Carly-Carly was our other friend who did the show with-"

"Yeah, I know," Kenna said.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"I've actually met her," Kenna said. "Last time she visited Sam a few years ago and at Sam's wedding."

"Oh cool," Freddie replied. "She's really nice, isn't she? I'm gonna try and give her a call and see if she can meet Sam and I at some point."

"Yeah…she's great," Kenna mumbled, and Freddie could've sworn he heard a sense of sarcasm in her voice.

"Ken, is Sam back yet?" the man from the previous night said, coming out of the door behind the bar with a crying infant in his arms. "Her son's kind of giving me a headache here."

"Try feeding him, genius," Kenna said, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, Garry, babies aren't exactly complicated to figure out."

"That-That's Sam's son?" Freddie asked, though it was a stupid question. He could tell by the eyes that this child simply couldn't belong to anybody but her.

"Yeah, this is Liam," Kenna nodded, taking the infant in her arms, calming him down by stroking his back. "Sam has bottles in the diaper bag back there."

"Alright," Garry nodded, taking the child back and retreating back to the office.

"How old is her son?" Freddie asked.

"Six-months," Kenna replied.

"Wow…" Freddie breathed.

"What?"

"Nothing," Freddie said quickly. "It's just I never imagined Sam with kids. Back in high school she, well, wasn't the biggest fan of them."

Kenna laughed. "I could see that."

Suddenly the restaurant door opened and Sam came back in, this time, though, a small blonde girl was on her hip.

Freddie recognized her at once from the picture he had just been looking at. Though he noticed that something seemed different about the child. In the picture she had seemed full of life and energy. Now she looked…well, scared and shy.

"You didn't touch that fried chicken without me, did you?" Sam asked, pulling off her coat.

"Nope," Freddie said, still staring at the little girl.

"Oh, um, this is my daughter," Sam said. "Roxanne. Roxy, for short."

Upon hearing her name, Roxy looked over at Freddie.

"Well hi, Roxy," Freddie smiled. "Nice to meet you. I'm Freddie."

He extended a hand to her, but Roxy quickly turned her head and buried her face in the crook of Sam's neck.

"Sorry," Freddie said at once. "I didn't mean-"

"It's not you, she-she doesn't like meeting new people," Sam sighed.

"Hey Roxy, wanna go and watch your brother so Uncle Garry can get his butt out here to help your mom and me?" Kenna asked.

Roxy gave a small nod, and Sam handed her daughter over.

"So," Freddie said as Kenna went into the back with Roxy. "You have two kids, huh? Or is there a third one running around somewhere?"  
Sam chuckled. "It's just the two of the them. You met Liam?"

"Yeah, for a few seconds," Freddie nodded. "He has your eyes, you know."

"I know," Sam said. She picked off a bit of the fried chicken and popped it in her mouth. "So, you have any kids, Benson? Or was that against your spy code?"

"Again, I was never a spy," Freddie smirked. "But no, I don't have any kids. I want them…someday. But my job never exactly left any time for dating."

"Right," Sam said. "Well…if you ever want practice, Liam's really friendly. He'll let you play with him sometime."

Freddie nodded. "That'd be fun."

"Yeah…" Sam said softly. "Hey, listen, not to kick you out or anything, but our lunch rush is about to hit. You can stay if you want, but we're gonna get really busy."

"I'll get out of your hair then," Freddie said. "That fried chicken was delicious, by the way."

"Of course, it's made with my special breading," Sam said. She looked down at her feet. "Maybe you can come by again some other time?"  
"Definitely," Freddie agreed. "Hey, when do you guys close?"

"Ten," Sam said. "But I won't get out of here until at least eleven. We have to clean."

"I can come by and help you guys," Freddie said.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "You don't have to," she said. "It's really gross. We have to clean out the deep-fryer, do all the dishes, sweep and mop-"

"I have nothing else to do," Freddie told her.

"Well…if you want, sure, we could always use an extra hand," Sam shrugged. "I'll see you tonight then?"

"See you then," Freddie beamed.

…

"I thought _I _was messy," Sam mumbled, wiping down a group of tables after the lunch rush had finally cleared out. "These people are animals!"

"That one big guy didn't even touch his silverware," Kenna cringed. "And just think of how long it's gonna take to clean this place tonight now that we're gonna have to vacuum over here."

"Oh, Freddie's coming by to help us," Sam said. "So hopefully it won't take too long with him."

"He's coming back to _clean_?" Kenna frowned.

"Yeah," Sam nodded.

"Wow," Kenna commented. "That's nice of him."  
"He's a nice guy," Sam shrugged. "Nerdy, but nice."

"Is he?" Kenna smiled.

Sam gave her a strange look. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Dude…"

"I just think it's sweet that he's giving up his evening to come help clean out a restaurant," Kenna said simply. "And I think it's sweet how happy you look about it."

"I'm happy because I'm not gonna have to be here forever tonight," Sam said firmly. "Plus Freddie's my friend and I haven't seen him for ten years! Obviously I'm happy I can see him again."

"Okay," Kenna said. "You two _friends _have fun cleaning tonight. Want Garry and I to conveniently leave you two alone over the sink full of soapy dishes?"

"Stop," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "And don't you even _think _about doing what you're planning."

"What?" Kenna asked innocently. "Are you implying that I think you and this Freddie fellow would make a nice couple?"

"We're not gonna get together, Ken," Sam said.

"Not with that attitude you're not."

"Look, can you drop it?" Sam asked.

"Why? He's cute!" Kenna said. "And you told me you two used to date in high school, so just pick up where you left off!"

"We broke up in high school too," Sam pointed out.

"Well you're not in high school now," Kenna grinned. "So just ask him to coffee or something and then see where that leads."

"Kenna," Sam sighed, setting her rag down. "I don't want to date him. Or anybody, right now. It-It's still too soon. It hasn't even been a year yet."

Kenna's smile fell. "Oh…oh okay."

"I mean, Roxy's still not talking, she can't even go a week at preschool without having to be called out because she has a panic attack…" Sam continued. "I can't worry about dating while she's still like this."

"Yeah," Kenna agreed. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry. Well, it will be good for you to have Freddie back as a friend. He seems like a really great guy."

"He is," Sam nodded. "He really is."


	5. Chapter 5

"Thanks again for helping clean," Sam said as Freddie helped her gather dishes from the tables later that evening. "Your nights must be pretty pathetic if you're willingly doing this."

"Wow…I've missed those brutal insults," Freddie smirked.

"Here, just go put these all up on the counter," Sam said, handing Freddie her stack of plates. "We'll put them in the dishwasher later."

"Got it," Freddie nodded. He headed over to the counter, where Roxy was sitting on a bar stool, quietly coloring.

Freddie couldn't get over how much she looked like a miniature Sam. Her hair, her nose…everything. Well, other than her eyes. Roxy's eyes were green. Probably from her father.

It still amazed Freddie that Sam was a mother now. Ten years really did bring changes, didn't it?

"Hey, what are you coloring there, Roxy?" Freddie smiled, hoping to slowly begin warming up to Sam's daughter. After all, if they were going to be back in each others lives, he needed to get to know her children.

Roxy looked up at him but didn't answer.

"Oh, well, it's very pretty," Freddie continued. "Is it…wait, don't tell me…it's a house?"  
Roxy still didn't respond.

"Um, no? Not a house then…a bus?" Freddie tried again.

Roxy quickly looked away from him, almost as though she was afraid of him.

"I'm sorry, it's not a bus," Freddie said. "Um, is it-"

"Roxy, what are you up to?" Sam said, joining Freddie at the counter. "Still drawing?"

Roxy nodded, still avoiding Freddie's gaze. She then did a few odd hand movements.

"You thirsty?" Sam asked. "Hold on…"

_Was that sign language_? Freddie thought to himself as Sam grabbed a juice box from underneath the bar and handed it to her daughter.

"I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean-I didn't know she was deaf," Freddie said, his face reddening.

"She's not deaf," Sam said softly, stroking Roxy's hair. "She can talk…she's just not doing it right now…"

"Oh," Freddie said slowly. _That's weird…what kind of kid chooses not to talk. Weren't they supposed to be loud at this age?_

"Hey, Garry made an extra batch of sweet tea," Kenna said, coming out to the bar with a large pitcher. "You guys want some?"

"Yeah, bring it here," Sam grinned. "Freddie, you have to try this stuff, it's _amazing._"

She poured two glasses and handed him one. "Garry burns everything he tries to cook, but he has some weird gift when it comes to sweet tea."

Freddie took a sip. "Whoa…this _is _good."

"Right?" Sam chuckled.

"Yo, Garry! Your sweet tea got a new fan!" Kenna yelled into the kitchen behind her.

"Well yeah, no one's ever _not _liked that stuff," Garry said, joining the others behind the bar.

"It's delicious," Freddie said.

"I like this guy," Garry grinned. He held out a hand. "I don't think we officially met. I'm Garry."  
"Freddie," Freddie replied, shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Hey, it's almost clean out here," Garry observed, looking around.

"Yeah, see what _three_ people can accomplish?" Sam said, rolling her eyes. "If you'd get your butt out here and help me and Kenna like _Freddie _every night, we'd always be this productive."

"I'm sorry, do you want to figure out net profits and margins and budgets back there?" Garry asked.

"Nah, that's the only reason we keep you around," Kenna smiled, giving him a quick kiss.

"Hey, help me clean out the soda machine while these two suck tongue," Sam said to Freddie.

Freddie followed her to the end of the bar, where she handed him a bucket. "Here, I'm gonna dump the leftover ice in here."

"Okay," Freddie said. Suddenly, he couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"What?" Sam frowned.

"Nothing, it's just…it's weird seeing you so intense with the cleaning," Freddie said. "I remember the last day of high school we found a live hamster in your locket."

"There's these things called _health inspectors_ that freak out if there's one crumb out of place," Sam told him. "Trust me, I didn't suddenly become a neat freak while you were gone."

"Good, I was worried," Freddie chuckled.

Just then, the door to the restaurant opened and a tall woman with a long, pointed face walked in.

Freddie thought Sam would open her mouth and tell this customer that the restaurant was clearly closed, but Sam said nothing. Neither did Kenna not Garry.

"Hey Carol," Sam finally said, though Freddie noticed her tone was colder than it just had been with him.

"Hello, Sam," the woman said. She walked over to Roxy and gave her a small smile. "Hi sweetheart."

Freddie was surprised to see the girl give a tiny wave.

"Do you need anything?" Sam asked. "We're just about to close up."

Carol looked over at her, and her eyes then shifted to Freddie. She raised an eyebrow. "Yes, actually, I need to talk to you. Can I see you in the back?"

Sam pursed her lips but nodded. "Give me a sec," Sam mumbled to Freddie as Carol stepped behind the counter and went into the back.

_Who's that_? Freddie thought to himself. He looked over at Kenna and Garry. They were whispering quietly amongst themselves.

"Um, is everything okay?" Freddie asked.

"Yeah," Kenna said quickly.

"Who was that?" Freddie questioned.

"Sam's sister-in-law," Garry replied.

"Oh…" Freddie nodded. He wondered why Sam seemed less than pleased to see her sister-in-law. He wanted to press Kenna and Garry for further information, but he also didn't want to impose so soon. So he simply turned back to the soda machine.

Less than five minutes later, though, Sam and Carol came back out. Freddie caught a glimpse of Sam's face and saw that her looked red…as if she had been _crying_.

_Sam Puckett __**crying**__…_Freddie thought. What was going on?

"I'll see you later, Roxanne," Carol said, squeezing Roxy's shoulder. "Have a good night, Sam."

Sam didn't reply.

"Sam…are you alright?" Freddie asked, concerned.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine," Sam said at once, shaking herself out of her daze. "Come on, let's get back to that soda machine."

…

When Sam got back home that night, she felt heavy with both exhaustion and grief.

"Okay Roxy," Sam said, shifting her sleeping son in her arms. "Go take your shower."

Roxy gave her a few quick signs.

"Yes, I'll be standing right outside the door," Sam nodded.

She watched her daughter disappear into the bathroom and heard the shower go on a few seconds later.

_This really has to stop_, Sam thought to herself, leaning against the wall across from the door. _She needs to get back to living her normal life…_

Suddenly Sam felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and she saw Kenna's name flash across her screen.

"Hey," Sam answered, whispering, as to not wake Liam.

"Hey," Kenna replied. "So…what did the dragon lady want?"  
Sam gave a small smile. "That's a new nickname."

"Thought of it myself."

"Well she just wanted to tell me that-that the trial starts next week," Sam sighed.

"Oh," Kenna said softly. "Well…about time, right?"

"I guess."

"Are-Are you gonna go?" Kenna asked.

"Yes," Sam said instantly. "Of course I am."

"Do you want me to go with you? We could close the restaurant for that day."

"No," Sam replied. "Thanks, but, I kind of want to be alone when I go. I'm already gonna have Carol to deal with."

"You might want to take a few sips of Garry's whisky then," Kenna chuckled.

"I might hold you to that," Sam said. "Anyway, I think Roxy's almost ready for bed and I'm about to pass out too. I'll see you tomorrow. Night."  
"Night," Kenna echoed.

Sam hung up just as Roxy came out of the bathroom, her hair still dripping wet. She followed her mother into her bedroom, climbing into the large king bed as Sam placed Liam in his crib, kissing his forehead.

"Alright, Roxy," Sam said, kissing the top of her head. "Time to get some sleep, okay?"

Roxy nodded, laying down on her pillow. Sam sat down on the bed next to her, turning off the lamp and getting underneath the covers.

Though she had been up since the crack of dawn, she knew she wouldn't be able to get much sleep that night.

She sighed and silently reached over to her bedside table, picking up the framed picture that sat there.

She felt her stomach drop as she stared at it, and felt her eyes growing wet with tears.

The picture was of her and her husband, Aiden, on their honeymoon six years ago. Aiden had his strong arms wrapped around her as they sat on the beach in front of the Hawaiian resort they had traveled to. Even in a simple picture, his green eyes glistened like emeralds.

Emeralds Sam would never get to see sparkle again.

And then, as she had done so many nights before, Sam found herself crying herself to sleep, still clutching the picture to her chest.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Sam awoke still holding the frame in her arms. She looked over at Roxy, who was still asleep, before gently placing the frame back on her nightstand.

She remembered the mornings when she would wake up with Aiden at her side, and the two of them would exchange their good morning kiss before Roxy would come running in, jumping on Aiden's lap announcing she was starving or that she was bored and wanted to play.

She looked back at the picture, wishing she could see his smile for real again, instead of just in pictures. She sat up slowly and brought her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them, thinking back to the first time she had seen that smile so many years ago…

…

_Seven Years Earlier_

_Sam took a sip of her drink as she rested her elbows on the counter of the sports bar she was in, looking up at the T.V., anxiously waiting for the MMA fight she had been excited about for weeks to start. She really needed this break, she had spent all day figuring out how she was going to make the storage garage her, Kenna and Garry had just bought into anything resembling a restaurant. Part of her wanted to give up and go get a job at somebody else's restaurant, but then she remembered her and the others had literally poured every penny they had into their place, so it looked like she didn't have any choice but to make it work. _

_Sam heard a group of guys cheer behind her, and Sam rolled her eyes, knowing how hard it was going to be to actually focus on the fight. She wished she could be watching this from the comfort of her own home, but the tiny apartment she shared with Kenna didn't have cable, so this was the best option she had. _

"_Hey," a voice behind her suddenly said. "Anyone sitting here?"_

_Sam turned around and found herself face to face with a tall, handsome man with the most dazzling green eyes she had ever seen, pointing to the bar stool next to her_

"_No," Sam said. _

"_Thanks," the man smiled, sitting down. "I was over at the booth back there, but I couldn't really see the T.V., and there's no way I'm missing this MMA fight."_

"_You're watching the fight?" Sam asked, slightly surprised. Most of the guys in the bar were more interested in the football game on the big screen._

"_Of course, I'm a huge MMA fan," he nodded._

"_So am I," Sam said. _

"_No kidding," the man grinned. "Finally. I didn't think anybody in this bar cared about it. So who do you think's gonna take this match?"  
"I dunno," Sam said thoughtfully. "Phillip McGyver's left hook is pretty good, but you can't count out Rudy Rumble's body slam."_

"_But McGyver's arm has been bothering him since that match against Paul Luter," the man pointed out. _

"_He seemed fine when he knocked out Caged Larry last week."_

"_Wow," the man chuckled. "You really do know your stuff."_

"_Told you I was a fan," Sam smirked. _

"_I guess you were right," the man said. He extended a hand to her. "I'm Aiden, by the way."_

"_Sam," Sam smiled, shaking his hand. _

"_Sam…" Aiden repeated. "You new around here, Sam? It's just I've been watching MMA fights alone at this bar for years and I've never seen you."_

"_I just moved here from New York," Sam explained. _

"_Oh you're a New Yorker?"_

"_Not really," Sam admitted. "I was only there a few years. I'm from Seattle originally."_

"_And you found your way here?" Aiden grinned. _

"_Guess so," Sam nodded. "Hey look! The fighters are coming out! Man, I wish I could actually be there at the ring…it looks so awesome!"_

"_Me too," Aiden agreed. "You know they don't fight too far from here. The arena is only about an hour south of us."_

"_Really?" Sam said excitedly. _

"_Yeah," Aiden replied. "Maybe next year you will be there in person."_

"_Maybe," Sam smiled. "Maybe you will be too."_

….

Sam remembered the two of them had stayed at that bar until the wee hours of the morning, at first just talking about MMA, but then their conversations strayed and Sam and him found out a lot about each other.

When she left that bar that night, Sam felt something she hadn't felt in years…She had actually woken Kenna up when she arrived back to their apartment that night to tell her all about Aiden, and she anxiously waited until it was daytime in Italy to call Carly.

She remembered wondering how long she should wait before she considered calling him, and how long she should wait before feeling nervous that he wasn't calling her.

But he had called that very next day and asked her out.

And one year after that, when they did in fact make it to the MMA arena to watch that fight live, he proposed to her, and she felt like the happiest girl in the world.

And every year after that, Sam and Aiden made it back to that arena to watch that fight.

They were wed exactly one year after their engagement, and before they departed for their honeymoon, they stopped off at the fight, Sam still wearing her wedding dress as her and Aiden cheered on One-Eyed Oswald.

And the next year that was where Sam told him she was pregnant with Roxy.

Sam slowly got up out of the bed, allowing herself one last look at the photo.

Yes, every year her and Aiden had gone to that fight…this would be the first year she missed it.

She let out a soft sigh as she walked across the room to Liam's crib, where the child was sitting up, sucking on his rattle.

He held up his arms, giving his mother a few happy coos.

"Morning," Sam smiled, holding her son tight. "You hungry sweetie?"

The infant gave a few fussy cries, confirming Sam's question.

She saw Roxy stir slightly from the bed. Knowing her daughter needed her rest, Sam quickly took Liam out of the room into the kitchen. She took a bottle from the fridge and gently placed it in his mouth. He gave a few sucks of the bottle before spitting the nipple out, still crying.

"Oh, I know what you want," Sam said, opening the fridge again and pulling out a cold teething ring, and Liam's cries at once subsided when she placed it in his mouth.

"Yeah, I know, teething sucks," Sam said, rubbing his back gently. "But soon you'll have teeth like a big boy and you'll be able to eat some real food. Won't that be cool?"

Suddenly, she heard the tiny patter of footsteps, and Roxy came running into the kitchen. She rushed over to Sam, wrapping her arms around her mom's leg. She stared up, and Sam's heart almost broke at the look of betrayal on her daughter's face.

Roxy hated being left alone.

"Oh honey, I didn't leave you," Sam said, kneeling down to wrap her free arm around Roxy. "Mommy just had to feed your brother. I was right in here the whole time."

But Roxy still clung to Sam.

"Come on," Sam said, kissing the top of her head. "Let's go get ready to go into the restaurant."

…

Freddie looked around his living room, finally finished packing up the last of the few things he had.

Though he had only stayed in this apartment a total of two nights now, he had reached the conclusion that it simply felt…lonely. Overseas, he had shared a tiny apartment with four other men, so he would've thought having his own space like this would be a dream.

He sat down on his sofa, staring at his blank wall. Maybe he should go to the store and see if he could find anything to liven up the place.

At least that would give him something to do today.

Used to having his days jammed pack, this newfound free-time was beginning to take its toll on Freddie. Of course, he did know where he would want to spend his time…He wanted to go back to Sam's restaurant to spend more time with her. But he knew that he couldn't hang around there all day, she _did _have to work. Besides, he didn't want to be a bother.

Slowly, Freddie reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

Sam had given him Carly's number before he left the restaurant last night. He remembered what she had told him when she did so, too.

"_I wouldn't hold your breath on anything…she really loves her life in Italy."_

It was worth a try, Freddie figured. After all, he did miss Carly. He didn't even get to see her before he left ten years ago…

So he dialed Carly's numbed held his phone up to his ear. The line rang several times before he was greeted with a voicemail message.

"Hi, you've reached Carly Shay. I'm not available right now, but please leave a message and I will try to get back to you as soon as possible. Chao!"

He waited until he heard the beep before he began speaking.

"Hi Carly, it's-it's Freddie. Freddie Benson," he said slowly. "Um, I-I know you're still in Italy, but I just wanted to let you know that I-I finished up my service with that organization I left for ten years ago and I'm here in New Jersey. I-I actually just met up with Sam a couple of days ago…that's how I got your number. Anyway, now that I'm back, I was wondering if we could catch up sometime, you know, me, you and Sam. Just like the old days. So…yeah, give me a call when you get a chance. Um, bye."

He hung up, wondering if Carly would in fact give him a call.

He supposed he would have to wait and see.

And then, deciding he certainly wasn't going to stay cooped up in his home all day, Freddie grabbed his keys and headed out the door.

It was a nice day, cool, yet not miserable.

_Maybe I'll walk around_, Freddie thought to himself, starting down the stone steps outside his building. _Maybe-Maybe I can wait until eleven, when Sam said the restaurant gets quiet and swing by again…just for a little bit. _

Was it normal that since the second he had been reunited with her, Sam was practically the only thing on his mind?

Suddenly, Freddie was thrust out of his thoughts by a loud voice across the street.

"Freddie!"

Freddie's head jerked up and his face lit up.

Standing in front of one of the town houses across from him was Sam.

"Sam!" Freddie said, not even looking as he ran across the street, causing a very angry driver to slam on his brakes and give him a rude hand gesture.

"Whoa…don't get run over," Sam smirked.

"Yeah…should've looked both ways," Freddie said, catching his breath.

"Do you live there?" Sam asked, shifting Liam in her arms as she nodded at his apartment building.

"Yeah," Freddie nodded, looking down at Roxy and giving her a small smile, only to have the child clutch her mother's hand. "You-You live here?"

"Well my car's in front of this place and I'm standing here, so yeah, I think you can make that assumption," Sam said. "Jeez, what happened to that brain of yours, Benson?"

"Well, it looks like we're neighbors now," Freddie chuckled. And then he caught sight of the For Sale sign in her year. "Or…at least for a little bit. Are you moving?"

"Oh, um, yeah…hopefully," Sam nodded. "If I can ever find a buyer."

"You're not leaving New Jersey…are you?"

"Nah," Sam assured him. "I found a place a couple blocks from here that would be nice. It's smaller, which is good. I, um, have a lot of extra space right now. I just can't put an offer on it until I get money from this place."

"Oh, well, I'm sure you'll find someone who's interested in this place," Freddie said.

Sam shrugged. "Maybe…So what are you up to?"

"Nothing," Freddie replied. "I was just going for a walk."

"Ah," Sam said slowly. "Wait…you don't have any other plans today, do you?"

"No," he said at once. "Why?"

"Well, um, it's just that Kenna called me a few minutes ago and said that one of our waitresses can't come into today because she's got the flu, and we're always really swamped on Friday," Sam explained. "And if you're not busy…would you be interested in filling in? You'd get paid, and you keep any tip money."

"Um, sure," Freddie agreed. "I-I don't really have any experience-"

"You'll learn," Sam said, giving her a quick smile. "Don't worry. Thanks so much, you're a lifesaver."

"Anytime," Freddie said. "Trust me, it's no problem at all."

…

"So how did I do?" Freddie asked Sam a few hours later, after a large crowd of customers had cleared out of the restaurant.

"Not bad," Sam said as he followed her into the kitchen, where she placed a few more chicken breasts into the deep fryer. "You know, first you helped clean last night and now you're waiting tables…you sure you don't want to quit that spy job and come work here?"

Freddie laughed. "Maybe some day."

"Here, take some of the breakfast leftovers," Sam said, tossing him a biscuit. "We just have to throw them out soon anyway. I usually come back here and snack on this stuff all day."

As she threw the biscuit, the light bounced off the ring on her finger, almost as a cruel reminder to Freddie that it was still there.

And then, suddenly no longer able to hold back from asking the question, Freddie opened his mouth.

"So you're married, huh?"

The question seemed to catch Sam completely off guard. "W-What?"

"I mean you have a wedding ring," Freddie shrugged.

"Oh," Sam said softly, looking down at her finger. "Right…Well, um, no. I-I'm not married…anymore."

Freddie blinked. Well…he hadn't been expecting that answer.

"Sorry then," he said quickly. "I just assumed…the ring-"

"Yeah, I-I haven't gotten around to taking it off," Sam said, her voice barely a whisper now, and Freddie suddenly felt bad for bringing up the subject. Sam looked up. "My-My husband actually…he died."

Freddie's eyes widened. "Oh…Sam, I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…I didn't know-"

"No, don't worry about it," Sam said. "I would assume you were married too if I saw you with a wedding ring…"

"Hey, we just got a bunch more people in," Kenna said, poking her head into the kitchen.

"Okay, we're on it," Sam said, her voice returning to normal as she grabbed a pitcher of water. "Come on, nub. I'll show you how to 'convince' customers to order the most expensive stuff on the menu."


	7. Chapter 7

Freddie watched Sam as she went from table to table, delivering the customers the food they had ordered.

He couldn't believe her husband had died. How that must've felt for her…

As much as Freddie had disliked the idea of Sam being married when he first arrived here, he would never have wished for this. Sam didn't deserve it.

_I wonder if that has anything to do with why Roxy won't talk_, Freddie thought to himself.

"Hey, are you really waiting tables?" Garry said, coming out of the office, joining him behind the bar.

"Oh, um, yeah," Freddie nodded.

"You trying for a job here or something?" Garry chuckled.

"No," Freddie said. "I just-"

"Hey, I'm only messing with you," Garry said. "Besides, it's nice to have another guy around. You have no idea what it's like hanging out with two girls all day."

Freddie smiled. "Actually, I do."

"Whoa, look who's out of the office," Sam said, coming over to the two men.

"I need to run these papers to the post office, so can you sign them?" Garry asked, handing her a pen.

"Yeah, hand them over," Sam said, taking the papers and quickly scribbling her name. "Hey, if you're running to the post office, can you do me a favor?"

"Yeah, what do you need?"

"Can you grab more diapers and formula for Liam from the store? I meant to pick some up myself, but I never got a chance."

"Okay," Garry agreed. "I have his teething ring in the fridge, by the way. He was fussing a little bit, so you might want to give it to him soon."

"Thanks," Sam said, giving him the papers back. "I'll be glad when he's done teething…poor kid."

When Garry left, Sam and Freddie were silent for a moment.

Sam busied herself by readjusting her ponytail, and Freddie wondered whether he was supposed to pretend Sam's heartbreak confession hadn't just happened.

"So did you ever get around to calling Carly?" Sam asked, and Freddie took that as a sign that Sam didn't want to bring up what had happened in the kitchen.

"Yeah," Freddie answered quickly. "I called her this morning, actually."

"Did she answer?"

"No," Freddie replied. "I left her a message telling her to call me back though."

"Well hopefully you'll have better luck with that than me," Sam said, giving him a small smile.

"I'm sure she just got busy with something," Freddie reasoned.

"For nine months?" Sam said, rolling her eyes.

Freddie didn't reply.

"But like I said, you might have better luck," Sam said. "She hasn't seen you in years, after all."

…..

A couple days later, Sam sat on the small, uncomfortable sofa at Roxy's therapist's office, trying to entertain herself, by flipping through an outdated magazine.

Liam was asleep in her arms, having finally tired himself out from sucking on his teething ring.

_Is it even worth coming here still_, Sam found herself wondering as she checked the time

again. _Roxy's still not getting any better_.

Just then, Roxy's therapist came out of her office.

"Sam? Roxy's session is finished," the therapist said. "But could you come in here for a moment, please? I want to talk to you for a bit."

"Um, okay," Sam agreed, getting to her feet.

She stepped into the office, where Roxy was sitting at a small table, coloring a picture.

"Hey Roxy, how'd it go?" Sam asked, kneeling down next to her.

Roxy showed her the picture she was working on.

Roxy was a very talented drawer, and Sam could tell at once what the picture was. It was, herself holding Liam, Roxy, and Aiden.

"Very nice," Sam said softly, still staring at the drawing. She stood back up and faced the therapist. "So did you make any progress? You know, with the talking?"

"No, she still doesn't want to talk for us," the therapist replied. "But we worked on some more signs today."

"Oh…" Sam said, frowning. She lowered her voice so Roxy wouldn't here. "Look, is it really a good idea to be teaching her all these signs? I mean isn't that just telling her it's okay for her not to talk?"

"Sam, Roxy has suffered a trauma that most children her age couldn't even dream of," the therapist said. "She is still recovering from that. Right now she still feels afraid and unsafe. If you begin to rush her to talk before she is ready, you can risk further traumatizing her. At least with the sign language she can communicate with you. You do want that, don't you?"

"Yeah, of course I do," Sam said. "I just…how long is she going to go without talking?"

"It could be a month longer, or it could be a year," the therapist said. "It's up to Roxy."

"Well like I've been telling you, she hasn't made any progress at home," Sam sighed. "She hasn't slept in her own room since…well. And she still can't even go to the bathroom unless I'm right outside the door. And she has a panic attack at least once a week! I thought you said when we first started here those shouldn't last more than a couple months!"

"I realize that," the therapist nodded calmly. "And Roxy is taking longer to get over her father's death than most children I see who have lost a parent. However…"

"What?"

"Sam," the therapist said gently. "How are _you_ holding up?"

"Me? I'm fine," Sam said at once. "What's that have to do with anything."

"I notice you're still wearing your wedding ring," the therapist observed, looking at Sam's hand.

"I-I haven't-I haven't had time to take it off," Sam said lamely.

The therapist nodded. "Well…I'll just say that in these types of situations, children usually cannot recover until the adults around them begin to recover as well."

Sam looked away. "Right…well, um, I'll work on those signs with Roxy. I have to get back to work now."

She turned back to her daughter and held out her hand for her. "Come on, sweetie, say bye to Ms. Harriet and let's get back to the restaurant."

Roxy gave her therapist a small wave before Sam quickly led her out of the office.

…..

Freddie ran his fingers through his hair nervously, trying not to look out the window across the street at the house he now knew belonged to Sam.

_You can't just barge in over there, _Freddie himself firmly. _She's probably busy with her kids._

Yet he found himself just that much more anxious to pay Sam a visit. Wouldn't it be nice to maybe sit back, watch a movie, make popcorn and play a board game with her and Roxy?

_What is wrong with you_? Freddie said to himself, shaking his head. _You find out her husband is dead and then you try and move in on her? _

_**I'm not moving in on her**__, _another voice in his head pointed out. _**We used to spend every minute together ten years ago. Back then it would've been weird if I didn't go over there.**_

_But that was ten years ago, _the first, more rational, voice reminded him. _This is now. _

Freddie sighed, taking one last look out the window. He could see that her lights were still on through her blinds, so he knew she was still up…

Then again, what harm could it do to stop over for a few minutes?

He pulled on his jacket and hurried across the street. His fist hovered from Sam's front door for a second before he finally got his nerves together long enough for him to knock.

The door opened almost a full minute later, and Sam appeared, wearing old sweatpants and an oversized hoodie.

"Hey," she said, slightly surprised to see Freddie standing at her doorstep.

"Hey," Freddie said. "Um…you busy?"

"No, come in," Sam said, standing aside so he could enter the house. "I was actually starting to wonder what was keeping your nerdy butt from visiting."

"Oh, I didn't want to intrude," Freddie said quickly, feeling relieved that Sam at least seemed to want him here.

"Pfft, I'm the one who barged into your house and Carly's place every day back in high school," Sam pointed out as she closed the door. "You're not the one who should be worried about intruding."

Once she closed the door, Freddie watched as she reset two alarm systems.

_Who has __**two **__alarm systems? _Freddie wondered. _One I get, but __**two**__? That's kind of paranoid…like something my mom would do._

"So what's up?" Sam asked as she led him into the kitchen right by the entrance.  
Roxy was sitting at the table, playing with two dolls, silently, and Liam was in his high chair, happily babbling as he watched his sister play.

"Nothing really," Freddie admitted. "I just got sort of lonely."

"I know what you mean," Sam said, giving him a small smile. She turned to her daughter. "Roxy? You remember Freddie, right?"

Roxy nodded but didn't look up from her dolls.

"Hi Roxy," Freddie said politely.

"Can you say hi to him?" Sam asked

Roxy looked up and gave Freddie a quick wave before returning to her toys.

"It was worth a shot," Sam sighed. "You want anything to eat? I have leftover pizza."

"I'm good, thanks," Freddie said.

"Well I'm hungry, so that's just more for me," Sam said, opening her fridge and pulling out the pizza box.

"Um, Sam, listen," Freddie said softly. "About what you told me earlier…about your husband. I really am sorry. I wish I had been there for you-"

"Thanks, but I-I don't want to talk about that," Sam said quickly. "Not now, okay?"

"Okay," Freddie nodded at once.

Sam got out a plate and set a piece of pizza down in front of Roxy. "So what do you want to do now that you're over here? I'm not putting on real pants so you better not want to leave the house."

"I dunno, maybe we could watch a movie or something," Freddie suggested.

"Sure," Sam agreed. "You'll have to wait until I get Liam to sleep though."

She picked up her son, who looked over at Freddie, smiling.

"He's in a good mood," Freddie chuckled.

"Yeah, he's always been a happy little guy," Sam said, wiping off his face. She looked up at Freddie. "Wanna hold him?"

"Yeah!" Freddie nodded, holding out his arms, and Sam placed Liam with him.

"Hey there, Liam," Freddie grinned as the infant cooed. "My name's Freddie. I'm a friend of your mom's."

"Ga!" Liam squealed happily, grabbing Freddie's ear.

"Oh yeah, should've warned you…he's a grabber," Sam said. "Be thankful you don't have long hair."

"He's fine," Freddie assured her.

"I think he really likes you," Sam said, enjoying the fact that Liam seemed so comfortable with Freddie. She looked over at Roxy. She remembered a time when she would've been just as eager to play with Freddie as her brother.

Suddenly, the words from the therapist's office began to ring through her mind: _children usually cannot recover until the adults around them begin to recover as well._

Maybe…maybe it was time she really started to work on that. And maybe Freddie showing up in her life again was just the way to start.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam clenched her hands together anxiously as she sat on the cold, hard benches of the courthouse.

Carol sat next to her, though the two women had barely said a word to each other.

Sam had never gotten along with Aiden's sister. She knew from the first time she met her years ago that she didn't approve of her precious baby brother running around with some girl like her.

Aiden had come from a very prestigious family, and because of that he had been expected to marry some girl who had the same background.

But he had picked her, and Carol had never been able to get over that.

"Where's Roxy and Liam?" Carol finally asked.

"Kenna and Garry are watching them at the restaurant," Sam replied.

Carol pursed her lips but said nothing. She had never liked the idea her niece and nephew were at that restaurant almost all day.

"Shouldn't Roxy be at school?"

"She woke up at four in the morning crying from a nightmare," Sam said. "She was in no shape for preschool."

"You know if she doesn't get the proper foundation at this age, she'll fall behind once she starts elementary school."

"She'll be fine," Sam said firmly. "I know what I'm doing with my kids."

Carol shrugged. "If you say so."

Sam wanted to say something back to her, but at that moment the door on the left side of the courtroom opened up and an officer led in a large man and took him to one of the two tables by the judge's stand.

Sam felt her heart stop and she clenched her hands together even tighter.

"Alright," the judge said, banging her gavel at her seat. "I am ready to begin. The people are charging Louis Tomas with murder in the second degree of Aiden Anderson. Mr. Tomas, how do you plea?"

"Not guilty," Tomas's lawyer said at once, and Sam wanted nothing more than to stand up and scream that that was a lie. How could that man stand there and defend the man who had taken her husband away from her like that?

Throughout the entire trial, Sam didn't move. She sat like a statue, trying hard not to break down in this courtroom filled with people and reporters.

The trial lasted four hours, and at the end of it all, there was still no verdict. The judge announced that the trial would resume in one week, and with that, court was dismissed.

"His lawyer's very good," Carol said as her and Sam exited the courtroom.

"He's depending a piece of filth," Sam said darkly.

"I was just making an observation," Carly said, narrowing her eyes. "You think I want to see the man who murdered my brother go free?"

"No, of course not."

"They'll probably call you to the stand next week," Carol continued coldly. "You should be expecting a call within the next few days."

"I figured," Sam said.

"Try not to mess that up," Carol said, buttoning up her coat. "Play the grieving widow role. What you do up there could make or break the case…believe me, if I could get this district attorney to listen to me, I'd be getting called instead of you."

And with that she spun on her heel and began to walk away.

"Hey!" Sam said. "Carol! If there's something you want to say…say it."

Carol turned back around, giving her sister-in-law a cold stare. "Fine," she said simply. She stepped closer. "Tomas would've never gotten into your home that night if your front door had been locked, and my brother would still be standing here."

Sam glared at her. "So you're blaming me."

Carol crossed her arms. "We both know Aiden didn't leave the door open…you're the one who always forgot."

Her words hit Sam like a freight train, and she said nothing as Carol turned back around and exited the courthouse.

…..

Sam stood in the kitchen at the restaurant later that day, working on getting orders out, though her mind was definitely not focused on ribs and barbecue sauce for once.

It wasn't as though she hadn't thought what Carol said to herself before…she hated herself every day for forgetting to lock their front door that night. Aiden always reminded her, but some nights it slipped her mind.

But hearing it from someone else really made it sink in…

Sam sighed as she dumped a finish batch of fries onto a plate, thinking back to that night…

…..

"_What about Steven?" Sam asked, resting her head on Aiden's shoulder as they sat in their bed late at night, flipping through a book of baby names._

"_Steven?" Aiden smirked. "No way."_

"_What's wrong with Steven?" Sam asked. _

"_Nothing, except it's too formal," Aiden said. _

"_Well then you shorten it to Steve!"_

"_That's not formal enough," Aiden said, his eyes sparkling as he bent down and placed his face next to the large bump of her abdomen. "You don't want to be a Steven or Steve, do you buddy?"_

"_You keep rejecting all my names," Sam said, rolling her eyes playfully. "This kid's gonna be here in three months. If we don't hurry up he's gonna have to be known as Baby Boy Anderson for the first day of his life!"_

"_Fine, let me see that book," Aiden said. "Let's see…hey, I like this one. Liam."_

"_Liam?" Sam repeated. "Uh __**no**__."_

"_What's wrong with Liam?"_

"_I dunno, it just sounds…weird," Sam shrugged. _

"_I like it," Aiden said. "It's different, but simple at the same time."_

"_I still vote Steven," Sam said. "Or now that I think of it, I do like the sound of Alexander."_

"_I'm gonna hold onto Liam."_

"_We're not naming our son Liam," Sam said. "Unless you would like to carry him for the next three months. Besides, you picked out Roxy's name! It's my turn anyway."_

"_You __**love **__her name," Aiden smiled knowingly. _

"_Well yeah," Sam nodded. "But you still picked it."_

"_Whatever," Aiden said. He closed the name book. "It's late. Let's just finish this tomorrow."_

"_I thought we were gonna do the nursery all day tomorrow," Sam pointed out._

"_**I'm **__gonna do it," Aiden corrected. "Come on, you shouldn't be doing any labor until you're__** in **__labor. Relax!"_

"_Not gonna argue with that," Sam chuckled. "But I have to run around with Roxy all day tomorrow, so I doubt I'll get much relaxing in. She has her ballet lesson at ten and then I have to take her to the dentist and then I need to go shopping with her to find new rain boots because her old ones are way too small. Thank God Kenna and Garry made me take my maternity leave early otherwise I don't know how I'd do all that."_

"_Just let me know if you need any help with all that," Aiden said, kissing her. "Seriously, honey. You do so much around here…" He kissed her again._

"_Mmm, is there something you want?" Sam grinned, kissing him back as he began to rub her shoulders._

"_What? Are you insinuating I'm only being charming right now because I want sex?" Aiden asked in mock offense. _

"_Absolutely," Sam nodded. "Though in your defense, you're pretty charming all the time."_

"_Hmm, now who's the one trying to sweet talk me?" Aiden said, planting tiny kisses down her neck. _

"_Guilty as charged," Sam laughed. "We have to be quiet, though. Roxy's been getting up in the middle of the night to try and sneak ice cream bars lately."_

"_Wonder where she learned __**that **__from?" Aiden smirked._

"_Shut up," Sam chuckled as he began to kiss her collarbone. _

_Suddenly, though, they heard the slamming of a door from the front of their house, and the couple quickly broke apart._

"_What was that?" Aiden frowned. "It sounded like the front door."_

_There was another sound, like heavy boots in their living room. Footsteps that were much to loud to belong to their daughter. _

"_Stay here," Aiden told Sam firmly, getting out of bed. "No, go-go get Roxy. And call the police."_

_Sam nodded. "Be careful."_

"_Don't worry, it's probably just some dumb kid playing a prank," Aiden assured her._

_Sam and Aiden hurried out of their bedroom, though Aiden turned to head into the living room while Sam ran down to hall to Roxy's bedroom. _

_The child was fast asleep in her large princess bed that she loved so much, clutching one of her stuffed animals peacefully. _

"_Roxy," Sam whispered, gently shaking her shoulder. "Sweetheart, you need to get up."_

"_Mommy, I'm sleepy," Roxy mumbled, slowly opening her eyes. She looked at her window. "It's still dark."_

"_I know," Sam said, stroking her unruly blonde hair. "But-But you just need to be awake right now, okay."_

"_How come?" Roxy asked, always curious. "Where's daddy?"_

"_Daddy…he-he-" Sam began, but then she heard a loud crash coming from the front of the house._

"_What was that?" Roxy asked, her eyes wide with panic._

"_Nothing," Sam said quickly, not wanting to alarm her daughter. She scooped her off her bed and led her to her closet._

"_Is there a burglar?" Roxy asked. _

_okay? Daddy's going to take care of whatever's going on out there. You just don't think about-"_

_Her words were cut off, though, but the sound of a gunshot, and Sam's blood ran cold. _

"_Roxy," she said, knowing how terrified she must be. "Stay here. Don't come out of this closet! Stay __**here**__."_

"_Okay," Roxy nodded, her voice shaky._

_Sam kissed the top of her head before turning and running out of the room out to the living room. _

_When she first stepped into the room, Sam wondered where Aiden and the mystery intruder were, for the room looked empty. She saw the front door was wide open, and she cursed herself for not remembering to lock it before she had gone into the bedroom._

"_Aiden?" she whispered. "Aiden, where-"_

_But her sentence fell as she spotted her husband laying on the floor near the sofa._

"_No!" she yelled, rushing over to him, falling onto her knees. "Aiden! Aiden!"_

_She saw a pool of blood forming underneath his head and his eyes were wide-open and staring lifelessly at her. _

"_No!" she cried again, shaking him. "Aiden! No! Wake up! Aiden! Aiden! No!"_

_She felt as if her world was crashing down as she began to sob violently. Her husband was dead. He was gone, taken from her in a matter of minutes._

"_No!" Sam cried again, clutching at the shirt he was wearing. "No!"_

_And then she heard a loud scream behind her and she whirled around to see Roxy standing behind her, staring at her father's dead body with a look of pure shock on her face. _

"_Roxy, no! Don't look!" Sam said, quickly getting to her feet and turning her daughter away, enveloping her in her arms. _

_But she knew it was too late, and Roxy began shaking against her, crying so hard that Sam was suddenly afraid she was going to pass out. _

"_Roxy, breathe!" Sam yelled through her own tears. "Roxy! Roxy!" _

…

Roxy wound up passing out in her arms just before the police arrived that night, and one of the officers had rushed her and Sam to the hospital.

When Roxy woke up, she wouldn't speak to anybody. Not the doctors, not the nurses, not even Sam.

_If only I had locked that door,_ Sam thought to herself. _Aiden would be alive, Roxy wouldn't be so damaged…if I had just remembered to lock that damn door._

"Sam? Sam!"

Sam snapped out of her thoughts as Kenna quickly turned off the deep fryer and pulled out a now cremated batch of onion rings.

"Oh, sorry," Sam sighed as Kenna dumped them in the trash. "My bad…I-I got distracted."

"Sam, I told you," Kenna said gently. "You could've gone home after the trial, Garry and I can cover it here today."

"Yeah…I'm just screwing up everything here," Sam sighed.

Kenna squeezed her shoulder. "I never got a chance to ask…how was the trial?"

"Not over," Sam replied.

"I figured," Kenna nodded. "These sort of things go on for awhile. How was Carol? Did you hit her yet?"

Sam looked away, her eyes wet. "You know…this whole thing could've been avoided…it's all my fault."

"No," Kenna said at once. "Sam, don't do this."

"Well it is!" Sam snapped. "Everyone knows it! That guy got in through the _front door _that I left open! If I had just used my brain and locked the goddamn door that night, none of this would've happened!"

"Carol say that?" Kenna asked darkly.

"She didn't need to, but…yeah," Sam nodded. "I've always known it."

"Sam, what happened to Aiden wasn't your fault," Kenna said firmly. "That guy was there to rob your house. If the front door had been locked, he would've just broken in through a window. It-It was a tragic thing, but it wasn't anyone's fault except for that burglar's, and he's going to rot in jail for the rest of his life."

She handed Sam a tissue, which Sam gratefully took.

"Don't let Carol get you down," Kenna said. "Or yourself, for that matter. It wasn't your fault. Not even a little bit."


	9. Chapter 9

"Okay, Mr. Benson, your work is all laid out for you," Freddie's new boss said on his first day of work. "Do you have any questions?"

"No, I think I'm good," Freddie replied.

"I'm not surprised, I was told all about what you did out on the field the past ten years," his boss said, impressed. "You really gained access to data bases that had information from all of our competitors?"

"Um yeah, it wasn't too hard," Freddie said modestly.

"Well, glad to have you set up here now," his boss said, giving him an assuring smile. "I'm sure you'll be very useful."

As his boss left his tiny office, Freddie leaned back in his chair and stared out his small window. He was glad to be back at work again, even though it meant hanging around Sam's restaurant with her would become harder to do. Maybe this was good for him; maybe he could finally take his mind off of her. Maybe he could finally squash those annoying emotions that were beginning to surface every time she would even-

Suddenly, his phone rang, and Freddie quickly pulled it out of his pocket and looked down at the screen.

"What the-" Freddie breathed, surprised. He pressed the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Freddie!" came the excited voice that he hadn't heard in over a decade. "Oh my God, I can't believe I'm actually talking to you! It's been so long!"

"Hi, Carly," Freddie smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, just _really_ busy here in Italy," Carly said. "I've been up for over thirty hours trying to finish up the last pieces for a giant fashion show I have coming up. But what about you? I can't believe you're back!"

"Yup, I'm back," Freddie said. "Too bad you're all the way in Italy, though. I was hoping you, Sam and I could meet up sometime like the old days."

"I know, I've been wanting that too," Carly said. "But you know how it, you get so busy. But that's actually what I was calling about…I'm flying out to New Jersey!"

"What? Really?" Freddie exclaimed. "Carls, that's great! I can't wait to see you."

"Me too! And it will be great to see Sam too, I haven't seen her in years," Carly said. "Hey, I have an idea! Why don't we surprise her?"

"Surprise her?" Freddie repeated, wondering if whatever Carly had in store would be a good idea, considering Sam seemed didn't exactly seem to be Carly's biggest fan at the moment.

"Yeah," Carly replied, her voice full of excitement. "I'll meet up with you and then we'll both go to her little restaurant. You've been to her restaurant right?"

"Yeah, I've been there," Freddie nodded.

"She'll be shocked…it'll be great," Carly said. "You in?"

"I-Sure," Freddie said slowly.

"Perfect, I can't wait for this!" Carly said. "I'll be getting into New Jersey on Friday."

"Alright, I'll see you then," Freddie told her.

"Listen, I'd love to talk and catch up more, but like I said, I'm _really _pressed for time," Carly said. "I have a million meetings and things to take care of. But we'll catch up when we see each other in person, I promise!"

"Sounds good," Freddie said. "Later, Carly."

"Chao!" Carly said happily, hanging up her line.

Freddie put his phone back in his pocket. He really was looking forward to seeing Carly. After all, she had always been almost like a sister to him.

He just wondered if Sam was going to be as happy to see her as he was.

…

"So you won't be on the stand for more than a few minutes," the assistant district attorney told Sam her as the two sat in the office at the back of the restaurant. "You'll tell the jury what you saw when you came out looking for your husband. Really, all I'm going to need you to do is pull on the jurors' heartstrings."

"Okay," Sam mumbled. "So, um, is a verdict going to be decided next time?"

"The case will most likely finish, the verdict will depend on how fast the jury decides on one," he explained.

"Oh," Sam said softly.

"Hey," the ADA said, giving her and encouraging smile. "It's a clean case. Tomas was found one block from your house that night, the bullets from the gun he had on him matched the shell casings in your living room, and the blood we found on his clothes matched your husband's. No one can deny that he killed Aiden. Even Tomas's lawyer knows that. What he's doing now is something we like to call 'stalling'."

"I'll just be glad when this is over," Sam said.

"It will be, soon," he assured her. He got to his feet. "Well, that's all I had to go over with you. I'll see you at the trial next week."

"Okay, thanks," Sam nodded. "And thanks for meeting with me here. I-I really couldn't make it down to your office today."

"I understand, you must be very busy," the ADA nodded. "Call me if you need anything."

Sam waited for a few moments before going back out to the restaurant after the ADA left. Kenna was waiting tables and Garry was sitting at the bar with Roxy, counting the money in the cash register.

"How was it?" Garry asked softly so Roxy, who was rolling silverware, wouldn't hear.

"Better than I though, I don't have to do too much," Sam said. "And he said the trial should be done soon."

Garry nodded. "You sure you don't want Kenna or me there with you? Even if it's just for one of us to 'accidently' trip Carol or something."

Sam gave him a small smile. "No, I'll be fine. Besides, you guys need to run this place while I'm gone."

"Hey, Gar, can you go grab me another pitcher of sweet tea? We're all out," Kenna said, joining the two at the counter.

"Sure," Garry nodded, heading back into the kitchen.

"So," Kenna said once Garry was gone. "How you hanging in there?"

Sam shrugged. She looked down at her wedding ring. "Hey, Kenna? Do you think it's weird that I still have my ring on?"

Kenna frowned. "Well…I mean-"

"Yup, it's weird," Sam sighed.

"No, I didn't say that," Kenna said. "I mean…you-you should probably, um, take it off eventually…but right now…you said it yourself the other day you're not over it yet."

"How long do you think it should be before I'm over it?" Sam asked softly.

"I don't think there's a set time," Kenna said. "Why are asking this anyway?"

"It's just…do you think me not, you know, moving past Aiden's death yet is what's causing Roxy to keep staying this way? Her therapist said kids need to see the adults around them recover from this sort of stuff before they can start to recover themselves."

"Well…I'm sure that would help Roxy," Kenna agreed. "But Sam, you have a right to still be upset. You lost your _husband. _I know you're concerned about Roxy, but you also can't rush yourself to get through something faster than you're ready to."

Sam didn't reply until after a few moments. "I think…I don't know. Maybe after the trial…when that Tomas guy gets put away like he deserves and I get that closure everyone keeps talking about, I'll-I'll be able to get my life back. And Roxy can get hers back too."

…

Freddie looked at his watch anxiously as he stood in the airport waiting for Carly. He hadn't mentioned her arrival to Sam, just as Carly had told him, but he was still a little hesitant about surprising Sam like this.

_It can either go really well or really bad_, Freddie told himself. _Let's just hope for really well._

Suddenly, he heard someone calling his name from behind him.

"Freddie!"  
He spun around as saw a tall brunette racing towards him.

The second he set eyes on her, Freddie could tell Italy had taken its toll on Carly.

She had always been into clothes in high school (she had been notorious for owning at least a dozen pairs of boots), but now she was wearing a designer dress that Freddie knew probably cost a small fortune. Her hair was styled so fashionably that she looked like she stepped out of a magazine and her shoes looked so uncomfortable that they _had _to be the latest trend.

But her smile was the same as it had always been, and Freddie held his arms out to hug his old friend.

"Hey Carly," he smiled. "Long time no see."

"I know!" Carly grinned. "I was so upset I never got to see you off when you left ten years ago. But now we have so much to catch up on! Oh, but first we need to go surprise Sam! This is going to be the best. She has no idea I'm coming?"

"I-I haven't said anything," Freddie said.

"Good," Carly beamed. "Then let's go see her! This is gonna be just like old times!"

"Let's hope so," Freddie mumbled under his breath.


	10. Chapter 10

Sam sat nervously in the witness stand, trying not to look out into the crowd at Carol's cold eyes.

"And so after you heard the gunshot while you were protecting your daughter in her bedroom, what did you do?" the district attorney said to Sam.

"I told my daughter to stay in her room, in the closet, and I went to go see what had happened to Aiden," Sam said, trying to block out the images that were resurfacing in her mind.

"And what did you see?"

"I saw the front door open and Aiden lying on the floor with a-a bullet through his head," Sam said, looking down at her lap.

"Was he alive or dead at that time?" the district attorney asked gently.

"He was dead," Sam whispered. "They-They told me he was dead before he hit the ground…he didn't suffer."

"Thank you, that's all," the district attorney said, giving Sam a small smile.

"Your witness, Mr. Darenson," the judge said to the lawyer on the other side of the courtroom.

"We have no questions for this witness," the lawyer said simply, and Sam felt a sense of relief. The ADA had told her the defense most likely wouldn't question her, for any attack on her would make the lawyer look even more cold and heartless than he was, and the jury would eat that up.

Sam went back to her seat, still avoiding looking at Carol who was sitting behind her.

She was thankful that the rest of the trial moved quickly. Within an hour, the judge had released the jury to their chambers to make a decision.

Sam hurried out of the courtroom, glad to be free from its stuffy walls. She found a small bench and sat down, pulling out her phone.

_It's gonna be over soon_, she reminded herself. _It's all gonna be done…_

"Your testimony was rather short, don't you think?"

Sam looked up and saw Carol standing in front of her.

"I said what they wanted me to," Sam mumbled.

"Well you could've added some stuff," Carol said simply. "You could've said you saw that Tomas guy hanging around your neighborhood earlier that day or that you had seen his face as he ran from your house after he shot Aiden!"

"I couldn't lie on the stand, Carol," Sam said.

Carol didn't reply, and simply spun on her heel and stormed away.

_I really can't stand her_, Sam thought as she watched her sister-in-law turn the corner. Then again, she never could.

….

"_How big __**is **__this place?" Sam gasped as she stepped out of Aiden's car, staring at the huge Connecticut mansion in front of her. _

"_Big," Aiden said modestly. "Maybe after dinner I can give you a tour of the place."_

"_I wish you told me your sister lived in a mansion," Sam mumbled, looking down at her own outfit. She was wearing a simple dress that could pass as formal at any normal place, but not here._

"_Hey, you look fine," Aiden assured her. "More than fine…stunning. As usual. One of the many reasons I asked you to marry me."_

"_But your sister lives in a __**mansion**__," Sam said again. "This place screams fancy! I can't walk in there like this!"_

"_Hey, this is the place I grew up in," Aiden told her. "And I don't want my fiancé and future wife to feel like she doesn't belong here."_

"_Wait, you used to live here?" Sam frowned. _

"_Yup," Aiden said. "Born and raised…technically…technically I own half the place now. My parents left it to me __**and **__my sister in their will."_

"_But you don't live here."_

"_Nah," Aiden chuckled. "I gave up my half of the property when I moved to New Jersey."_

"_Why?" Sam asked. "This place makes your apartment look like a shed or something…no offense."_

"_I just wanted to get away from it all," Aiden shrugged. "You know, see if I could make something of myself without my parents money and house hanging over me."_

"_Wow," Sam said softly. "Sounds like some story right out of one of those cheesy inspirational movies."_

"_Yeah, I'll be selling the rights to my story any day now," Aiden smirked, rolling his eyes. He took her hand. "Seriously, Sam, just be yourself. Don't be intimidated by the big house or all the fancy things in it or my sister."_

"_Well I wasn't planning on being intimidated by your sister until you said that," Sam said. "What's Carol like?"_

"_She's…nice," Aiden said lamely. "Deep down. But don't worry too much about her. I've told her how crazy I am about you."_

"_Aw," Sam grinned, standing on her toes to give him a quick peck. "I'm kind of crazy for you too."_

_The couple walked up the long driveway to the front steps of the house. Aiden rang the bell and gave Sam's hand a reassuring squeeze._

_The door was opened by a man wearing an expensive back tuxedo. _

"_Evening, Master Anderson," the butler said curtly. _

"_Come on, Ralph, you know Aiden's just fine," Aiden said, smiling politely at the man. "Ralph, I want you to meet my fiancé, Sam. Sam, this is Ralph. He's been my family's butler since I was born."_

"_Nice to meet you, Madam," Ralph said, taking Sam's hand and kissing it briefly. _

"_Um, you too," Sam said, a bit shocked that people actually did that in real life. She had always thought it was only something you saw on movies. _

"_Is Carol down?" Aiden asked. "I'm ready to get to the dinner part of the night. We just drove all the way from Trenton and I'm starving."_

_He turned to Sam. "Hopefully she serves lamb tonight. The cook, Wilma, makes the best lamb. When I was a kid I used to sneak into the kitchen and she'd always let me have the first taste before she served the rest to my family."_

_Sam laughed, still looking around the place._

_Aiden had told him that his family was pretty wealthy, but she still hadn't expected this. This mansion looked like it would hold the queen or something!_

_She looked up at her fiancé and suddenly felt a great surge of respect for him. It probably would've been real easy to get taken up in all this; the butler, the chef…everything, and become something of a snob who thought he was better than everybody else just because of his money. _

_But Aiden wasn't like that in the slightest. After all…he was with her, a girl who could never even dream of fitting into this lifestyle. _

"_Hello, Aiden," a voice said, floating down the stairs. _

_Sam turned around and saw a tall, thin woman with long, dark hair coming down a curling staircase. _

"_Hey, Carol," Aiden smiled, hugging his sister once she reached them. _

"_I'm glad you could come, it's been quite some time since we've seen each other," Carol said, and Sam had to refrain herself from laughing at overly-dignified tone in her voice. _

"_Well I told you, I wanted you to meet my fiancé," Aiden said, putting his arm around Sam. "Carol, this is Sam. Sam, this is my big sis, Carol." _

_Carol looked down at Sam with pursed lips. "Ah…Sam. Short for Samantha I presume?"_

"_Um, yeah," Sam nodded. _

"_But she goes by __**Sam**__," Aiden said._

"_Right…how modern," Carol said, extending her hand and shaking Sam's briefly. "Well, supper is awaiting us in the dining room."_

_Sam and Aiden followed Carol into a large room with a massive table filled with covered trays. _

_Sam made to pull back her chair to sit down, but another man wearing a tuxedo quickly rushed over and pulled out her seat for her._

"_Oh…thanks," Sam said. "So, um, Carol, it smells really good. What are we having?"_

"_Braised game hen with a red wine sauce," Carol replied, taking her own seat. _

"_You'll love the sauce," Aiden told her. "It's Wilma's specialty."_

"_Wilma no longer works in the kitchen," Carol said, unfolding her cloth napkin. _

"_What? Why not?" Aiden frowned. "Did she get sick? I know she used to struggle with her Asthma."_

"_No, I just let her go," Carol said. "She was getting to be a bit too slow. She wouldn't have dinner out until five minutes after I called for it and she was getting quite old. She was becoming more of a liability than an employee."_

_Aiden gripped the arm of his chair tightly but said nothing. _

_The dinner was a disaster, to say the least. _

_There must've been at least fifteen different utensils in front of her, and Sam had no idea which one to use, though that didn't keep Carol from correcting her at every turn. _

_She spilled her wine all over the white tablecloth and she accidently put her elbow into the butter dish. _

_When desert came Sam wound up getting blueberry tart on the front of her dress. _

"_Well," Sam said under her breath to Aiden as the dishes were cleared away. "That was a disaster…"_

"_You're exaggerating," Aiden chuckled. "Just relax and enjoy yourself here."_

"_Sam," Carol said, getting to her feet as the servers continued to clear the table. "A friend of mine is in the wedding dress business and I have a few of her catalogues in the drawing room I want to show you. Can you come with me?"_

"_Um…" Sam said, looking over at Aiden, who gave her an encouraging nod. "Okay."_

_She followed Carol out of the dining room into a small room down a long corridor. _

_**How many rooms does this place even have? **__Sam thought to herself, looking around this new room, which was set up to look like a reading area._

"_So," Carol said, looking through the stack of magazines on the coffee table. "I hear you're a waitress."_

"_Um, not exactly," Sam said. "I own a restaurant with two of my friends. I guess I do wait tables sometimes…but, um, I'm not just a waitress."_

"_I see," Carol said. She pursed her lips. "You know my brother was all set up to marry a young girl from the Branton family? You know them, they have chains of office stores all around the country."_

"_Oh," Sam frowned. "No, I-I didn't know that."_

"_Yes, it was pretty much all arranged from the time Aiden was fifteen," Carol said. "But then he told our parents he didn't want to be forced to marry someone just to protect our family name, and well, they allowed him to end the agreement."_

_Sam didn't know what to say to that. _

"_Yes…you're quite different from the girl my parents planned on seeing their son marry," Carol continued. "You don't come from a family like ours, you didn't go to an Ivy League school, you're not particularly ladylike, you lack __**any**__ grace…"_

"_What are you saying?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow._

"_Nothing," Carol said. "Just that my brother seems to have a very different idea of what characteristics the girl who he's planning on spending the rest of his life with should have than I do."_

_She pulled a thick magazine out of the pile she had been rifling through and handed it to Sam. "There you are. Some of the best dresses of the year are in there. Maybe you can find something you like…if you don't mind at least looking decent for one day of your life."_

….

One of the good things about this trial coming to an end was that it would also mean the amount of time Sam had to deal with Carol would dwindle. She knew it would be wrong to keep her from seeing her niece and nephew, so she supposed she'd have to suck it up and deal with Carol at holidays and birthdays, but that would be it.

After about an hour, the ADA walked over to Sam and told her the jury was out and the judge was about to deliver the verdict.

"You did great on the stand, by the way," he told her as he led her back into the court room. "You really got to the jurors."

"Hopefully they made the right decision then," Sam mumbled, sitting back down in her seat.

"Alright," the judge said loudly once everyone was seated. "On the charge of murder in the second degree, how to find the defendant?"

"We the jury," said the first juror, getting to her feet. "Find the defendant, Louis Tomas…guilty."

The knot in Sam's stomach loosened slightly at those words.

She watched the face of Louis Tomas contort as he yelled out his protests, but it didn't matter.

Than man who had taken her husband away from her was going to get what he deserved.

Everybody had been telling Sam she would feel closure and relief once this moment came, and Sam did feel a bit better leaving the courthouse than she had felt walking into it this morning, but it wasn't at all as if she suddenly spring in her step and a whole new outlook on life.

_I guess there's really no excuse for me not moving on anymore, _Sam thought to herself as she got into her car to drive back to the restaurant. _I've got to at least start trying._

…..

When Sam got back to the restaurant, Garry had Liam in his arms as he wiped down the bar, and Roxy was following Kenna as she waited on the few tables that were filled.

"Hey," Sam said to Garry, holding out her arms for her son. "Thanks for watching them. Did you have fun with your Uncle Garry, Liam?"

"Ba!" Liam cooed, drooling a little bit on Sam's shoulder.

"Is-Is everything done now?" Garry asked softly.

"Yeah," Sam nodded, stroking Liam's hair, noticing it was starting to take on the exact same shade of brown his father had. "Tomas is going away for a long time."  
"That-That's great," Garry said. "That's what he deserves."

"I know," Sam said as Roxy ran over and hugged her leg. "Hey honey, I missed you."

"She's been helping me all day," Kenna said, joining everybody at the bar. "Right Roxy?"

Roxy nodded proudly.

"Good job, Roxy," Sam smiled. She looked back over at Kenna and gave her friend a small nod, answering her unspoken question about the trial.

"There's some barbecue chicken in the kitchen if you want it," Kenna told Sam. "Some dude ordered it but then he changed his mind just as I was about to bring it out to him and he decided he wanted ribs instead."

"Sweet, I'm starved," Sam said. "I'll go back there in a minute and-"

Just then the door to the restaurant opened and Freddie walked in.

"Hey!" Sam grinned, glad to see him. "How's it been, Benson?"

"Oh, um, good," Freddie said, and Sam noticed he seemed to be a bit…preoccupied. "Just got off of work."

"Oh that's right, you started a couple days ago, right? How is it?" Sam asked. "I was gonna go work in the kitchen, you want to come back and tell me all about the spy business while I-"

Her words suddenly left her mouth as the door opened again, and none other than Carly Shay walked in, looking absolutely ecstatic.

"Sam!" Carly exclaimed. "Surprise! I'm here in New Jersey!"

"Um…yeah-yeah I can see that," Sam said, still in shock as Carly ran over to her, hugging her tightly.

As Freddie watched the two girls embrace, he looked over at Kenna and Garry, and noticed them exchange glances. Kenna's arms were crossed and she looked like she had just smelled something awful.

"This is great! I was so excited when got Freddie's message saying he was back!" Carly beamed as she pulled away from the blonde. "Now we can all catch up together! It's gonna be just like old times! Oh my God…is that Roxy?"

She smiled down at the young girl, who was avoiding Carly's gaze. "Hi Roxy! I bet you don't remember me. Last time I saw you, you were just a little baby. Now you're so big!"

"Yeah, she-she's four now," Sam mumbled, looking over at Freddie.

_Why'd he bring her here? _Sam wondered to herself.

But then again, she knew Freddie didn't mean any harm. He just wanted to get his group of friends back together to try and live out the old days once again.

Too bad the old days were too far gone.

"And wait…who's this?" Carly gasped, looking at Liam in Sam's arms.

"This is my son," Sam replied. "Liam."

Freddie frowned. Carly didn't even know about Sam's second child? Sam hadn't been kidding when she said the two of them hadn't talked much lately.

"Oh my God…I can't believe you've had a _baby_ in the time since we've last talked," Carly said. "I-I remember you saying something about you and Aiden thinking about trying for another kid, but I still can't believe this! He's so cute…you know, I think he looks just Aiden. Except for his eyes, but well, Roxy got his eyes, didn't she?"

Sam clenched her jaw tightly.

"Hi!" Carly said brightly to Kenna and Garry.

"Hello," Garry said politely.

"Hi," Kenna mumbled.

"Well you guys look great," Carly said. She turned to Kenna. "It's Kelly, right?"

"Kenna," Kenna corrected her.

"Oh right, right," Carly said quickly. "And this is…sorry, I'm really drawing a blank."

"Garry," Garry told her.

"Oh, I _knew _it," Carly chuckled. "It was right on the tip of my tongue."

"What-What are you doing here, Carly?" Sam asked.

"I told you, Freddie called me and I just finished up a big project over in Italy, so I thought I'd finally take some time to come catch up," Carly smiled.

"Ah," Sam nodded. "Nice of you to return _his _phone calls."

"Well, um, Sam, do you need any help around the restaurant?" Freddie asked quickly. "Carly and I can give you a hand and then maybe later we can all watch a movie or something."

"Sure," Carly agreed. "That sounds great! Oh, we should go out for dinner too, my treat, of course. I heard there's a cute little bistro uptown. Hey, why don't you invite Aiden to come with us?"

Freddie could've sworn he could've heard a pin drop after Carly said those words. Suddenly he realized just why Sam seemed to have grown less-than-fond of Carly.

"Um, Roxy, why don't you come back and help your Uncle Garry and I do some of the dishes in the kitchen?" Kenna asked quickly, taking Liam from Sam and grabbing Roxy's hand.

_How could she not know? _Freddie thought to himself as Kenna and Garry took the kids into the back.

"Where _is_ Aiden?" Carly asked, clearly not realizing the tension that had built up in the air. "I thought he liked to hang around the restaurant with you guys in between his contracting jobs."

Sam narrowed her eyes. "Aiden's dead, Carly."

"W-What?" Carly frowned. "He-Oh my God, Sam. I-I'm so sorry."

"He was murdered," Sam continued, her voice as cold as ice. "Nine months ago…You remember that last time I tried to call you?"

"Oh…" Carly whispered, a few tears welling in her eyes. "Oh no…Sam, I-"

"I just really needed to talk to someone," Sam snapped. "You know, after I lost my husband and had a daughter who was so traumatized by it that she can't even talk! But you…you couldn't even give me two seconds! You couldn't take a break from your _fabulous _life in Italy to even _speak _to me after the worst thing that had ever happened to me!"

"Sam, I-I'm so sorry," Carly said softly. "I didn't know-"

"No, you didn't!" Sam yelled, attracting the attention of the customers at the table, but she didn't seem to care. "Of _course_ you didn't! Ever since you left, Carly, you just forgot about everything you left behind! But even when you would go for months without calling before that, or when you would blow off the web chats were supposed to have, even when you almost missed my _wedding_, I kept making excuses for you! I kept telling myself that you're just busy or that it was no big deal…but _that _was the final straw! You know Spencer flew out here for the funeral? He tried to call you too, but you couldn't even give your own _brother _the time of day! Heck, even _Gibby_ called me after he found out. But my so-called best friend couldn't even pick up her phone."

"Sam," Carly said again, tears streaming down her face now. "I-I feel awful. I don't-I'm so sorry."

"Yeah," Sam mumbled. "So am I."

And with that she stormed out of the restaurant, slamming the door behind her.


	11. Chapter 11

Sam slammed the front door of her home, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't believe Carly had the nerve to strut back in her life like that. Did she really think she could just come by when it was convenient for _her_? That her life just hit pause until Carly Shay decided to grace her with her presence?

Anger still coursed through her body as she remembered that night when she was let down by the person she always thought she could count on, no matter what…

…..

_Sam's eyes hurt from crying so much, and as she slid against the white wall of the hospital, she still couldn't believe that in less than an hour, she had lost her husband. _

_Aiden was dead…She wondered if he was still lying on their living room floor, his green eyes wide and staring…_

_She suddenly felt like she was going to be sick, but her legs felt numb, rendering her motionless. _

_She was still waiting for Roxy to wake up; the doctors had told her she had had a panic attack, no doubt brought on by the stress of seeing her father's dead body with her own eyes. _

_And suddenly a new batch of tears began to fall from her eyes. _

_Why was this happening to her? What did she do? Was it really so naïve of her to believe that the wonderful life that she had was actually going to last._

_She felt a few kicks in her stomach; her and Aiden's unborn son proving that he indeed was growing strong. _

_Sam sobbed harder as she rested her hands on her abdomen. _

_**He's never going to get to know his dad**__, Sam realized. __**He's never going to get to meet him.**_

_Sam continued to cry for several more moments, passer byers not knowing whether to comfort or ignore her._

_Finally, once she had enough strength to straighten up, Sam slowly walked back into the hospital room across from her. _

_Roxy was fast asleep, and Sam almost smiled at how small she looked in that bed. And then she remembered why exactly she was in that bed in the first place, and she felt nauseous again. _

_She gently kissed the top of her daughter's blonde head, wondering how on earth she was even going to begin to explain what had happened to her once she woke up. _

_Sam suddenly couldn't stand to be in the hospital room; she felt as though she couldn't breathe. And so giving her daughter one last kiss and making sure she was still deep in her slumber, Sam hurried out of the room again. _

_She rubbed her eyes, wondering when exactly they would run out of tears. _

_**I need to talk to somebody**__, Sam thought to herself. She knew Kenna and Garry were on their way to the hospital now, but she needed to talk to someone who had always been able to make her feel better, especially when she hurt the most. _

_She pulled out her phone and dialed Carly's number. It had been several months since the two had last spoke, but Sam knew Carly would still be there for her. She always was._

_Carly picked up on the fourth ring, sounding tired and out of breath._

"_Hello?" she said. _

"_Carly," Sam said, her voice shaky. "Carly…something-something happened-"_

"_Oh hey Sam," Carly said, her voice as preppy as usual, though it sounded rushed. "I've been meaning to call you and catch up."_

"_Carly," Sam said again. "Aiden-Aiden-"_

"_Listen, Sam, I really can't talk right now," Carly said quickly. "I'm in the middle of trying to get a bunch of shoots out and I have a really important meeting in a few hours. But I'll call you back as soon as I get a chance. Chao! Talk to you later!"_

_Sam heard the line go dead and she stared blankly at her phone. _

"_Sam!" _

_Sam turned around and saw Kenna and Garry running over towards her. Kenna threw her arms around her, hugging her tightly. "Sam…I'm so sorry," Kenna whispered as Sam began to cry into her shoulder. "I'm __**so **__sorry."_

"_Do you need anything?" Garry asked gently, hugging her as well. "Sit…you want something to eat? To drink?"_

"_No," Sam said in a raspy voice as Kenna helped her back into Roxy's room. _

"_Here," Garry said softly handing her a water bottle anyway. "Drink this."_

"_How's Roxy?" Kenna asked. _

"_The doctors said she'll be fine," Sam mumbled. "She had a panic attack…Listen, can you guys stay here with her? I-I'm supposed to-to fill out some papers at the front desk and-"_

"_I'll handle those," Kenna said firmly. "Just stay here with Roxy."_

"_Yeah, we're here for you, Sam," Garry said, squeezing her shoulder. _

…_.._

Sam grabbed a box of tissues and sat down at the kitchen table. She thought she was supposed to feel _better _after today, now that the trial was finished up, not worse.

She looked over her shoulder at the dark living room. She never stepped foot in there anymore…As much as the crime scene people had tried to clean up that night, they never did manage to get the large blood stain out of the carpet, and though Sam had bought a rug to cover it, she knew very well what was under it.

_I need to get out of this house_, Sam thought to herself.

If only it was that easy. Sam knew until she sold this place, she'd never be able to afford a new home. Sam had spent a considerable amount of Aiden's funeral, as if giving her husband the best possible farewell would've eased the pain just a little bit. Roxy's therapy bills were also quite hefty, and then there was of course the cost of having an infant on her hands.

Aiden had his small fortune of an inheritance, and as his wife, it now belonged to her, but she couldn't touch the money yet, not until all sorts of legal details had been taken care of, a process that was taking an exceptionally long time both because Aiden, being only thirty when he died, hadn't gotten around to writing a will yet, and because the process was being headed by Carol, the only remaining member of the Anderson family. And Sam had far too much pride to go to her sister-in-law and tell her how desperate she was for that money.

Suddenly, she heard a knock at her door. Her first instinct was to ignore it. All she wanted right now was to be left alone with her thoughts. But when a second knock sounded, Sam slowly got to her feet and walked to the door and looked out the peephole.

Freddie was standing on her front steps, and Sam felt her breath get caught in her chest.

She opened the door.

"Sam," Freddie said at once. "I-"

"You didn't bring her, did you?" Sam asked, her voice sounding a bit harsher than she had intended.

"No," Freddie said. "She-She's at my place now. She's staying in my guest room. Can I come in?"

Sam nodded, opening the door wider for him to enter.

"I'm sorry I-I should've told you she was coming," Freddie said. "But she wanted to surprise you."

"Yeah…well she did," Sam mumbled.

"You know she-she really feels bad," Freddie said.

"So you came over here to try and get me to _apologize _to her?" Sam snapped.

"No," Freddie said simply. "I came over to make sure you were okay."

"Oh," Sam said, her voice softening.

The two were silent for a moment.

"I-I didn't know your husband was-was-"

"Murdered?" Sam finished knowingly. "Yeah…it took me awhile to get used to saying too. It still feels weird, actually."

"I just can't believe you had to go through that," Freddie said. "I-I can't even imagine how that must've been for you."

Sam didn't reply.

"How-How long ago was it?" Freddie asked.

"Close to ten months ago," Sam said. She glanced up at him. "You know he never got to meet Liam? I was just starting my third trimester when he died."

"Sam," Freddie said gently. "That's _awful_."

"He was so excited when he found out we were going to have a boy," Sam continued. "I mean he loved Roxy more than anything in the world; he loved having a daughter, but he was really happy he-he was gonna get a chance to have a father-son relationship with our son like he had with his own dad."

Freddie couldn't even find the words to say.

"But, um, today wasn't exactly all bad," Sam said, clearing her throat. "Earlier the man who-who shot Aiden was found guilty."

"That's-That's exactly what he deserved," Freddie said.

"Everybody says I'll start to feel better now," Sam shrugged.

Freddie nodded. "Um, so how-how long were you and Aiden married?"

"It was going to be six years next April," Sam told him.

"Oh," Freddie said. He gave her a small smile. "I wish…I wish I had a chance to meet him."

"You would've liked him," Sam whispered. "He was a really nice guy…I told him about you."

"You-You did?"

Sam nodded. "I used to show him a bunch of our old iCarly bits. I told him how good you were with computers and how crazy your mom was and how you were the biggest _Galaxy Wars _geek I knew."

_Did you tell him we used to date? _Freddie wondered.

"When we were doing our wedding invitations, he asked why I wasn't inviting you, and I told him you were off in some secret location for ten years being a spy or something," Sam continued.

"I wish I could've come," Freddie told her earnestly.

"So do I," Sam said softly. "It-It would've been nice to have you there…Especially since Carly barely made it."

"What happened?"

"Same thing that always happened, she got busy," Sam said darkly. "When we first started planning the wedding, I-I asked her to be my maid of honor. I mean, we had promised each other back in high school we'd be each others. And she said yes, but-but she kept getting into all these giant projects at work and she could never get time to fly over so-so she told my that she really couldn't do it anymore. So I asked Kenna to do it. And then she was supposed to fly up the week before the wedding and stay until the ceremony so she could come to my bachelorette party, but some big fashion show was going on, so she couldn't make _that_. And then the day of the wedding, she had to push her flight back a few hours to make room for an appointment with some magazine, and, well, she wound up making it to the church exactly two minutes before the wedding started."

"Wow," Freddie frowned.

"Yeah, and then at the reception, she stayed a grand total of forty-five minutes to say congratulations, meet Aiden, and rush back to the airport," Sam finished.

Freddie shook his head. He couldn't believe Carly had allowed her life in Italy to consume her so much that she had basically forgotten about Sam.

"Do-Do you think I was too tough on her back at the restaurant?" Sam asked slowly.

"No," Freddie said instantly. "I-I would be mad too. If I was married and my wife died and my best friend couldn't even pick up the phone for me…"

"Yeah," Sam said distantly. She got to her feet. "Um, I-I should get back to the restaurant."

"Kenna and Garry said for you to stay here," Freddie told her. "They'll bring Liam and Roxy by after they close. They said you need a break."

"Oh," Sam mumbled, sitting back down. "Well…that was nice of them I guess."

"Yeah," Freddie said. "Um, listen…I didn't mean to just barge in on you like this…If you need some time to be alone, I can go. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"No," Sam said, grabbing his hand as he made to get up. "Stay here with me."

…

That night, for the first time in she didn't know how long, Sam enjoyed herself. She hadn't had an evening without either being at the restaurant or with Roxy and Liam in close to a year. It felt almost…foreign to her.

"-So are you finally allowed to tell me where you _did _spend your last ten years?" Sam smiled as she took another bite of the Chinese food her and Freddie had ordered earlier.

"I'm _really _not supposed to," Freddie told her. "But if you promise me you won't go spilling the location, I'll tell you."

"I guess I can handled that," Sam agreed.

"Alright," Freddie chuckled. "I was in Greenland."

"The place with all the green?" Sam said.

"No, _Iceland_ is the country with all the green scenery," Freddie corrected. "Greenland is nothing but ice. I swear, I wasn't properly warm _once _over there. Now I have a closet full of winter clothes I'll probably never wear again."  
"Hey it gets pretty cold here," Sam said.

"Does it get to be fifty below zero?"

"Um, no, not quite," Sam laughed. "So if it was so cold there, what did you do for fun? You know, when you weren't busy being a spy."

"You're really not gonna let that spy idea go, are you?" Freddie asked, amused.

"Nope," Sam smirked.

"Well when I wasn't working-"

"Spying."

"When I wasn't busy doing my _job_," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "I just sort of hung out with my co-workers. There wasn't that much to do. We'd just go back to the apartment they made us share and watch T.V. or something."

"That's it?" Sam frowned. "You didn't go out and have any fun?"

"Not many places to go when everything's constantly covered in snow," Freddie shrugged.

"So you just stayed cooped up all the time?" Sam asked. "You didn't go out and explore or try anything cool? Did you even get to _date_?"

"Um, I didn't really have many dating opportunities," Freddie admitted. "I went out with a few girls I guess, but I didn't really like any of them…"

"Oh," Sam said, suddenly looking away from him. She stared out the kitchen window, where a pair of headlights were shining in. "I-I think that's Kenna and Garry."

Sure enough, a moment later there was a knock at the door.

"Hey," Sam said, quickly opening up, taking her sleeping children in her arms. "Thanks a lot for keeping them at the restaurant with you guys."

"No problem," Kenna said. She looked in the house to see Freddie still sitting at the table. "Glad to see you at least had company here."

"Whoa, I didn't realize how late it was," Freddie said, checking his watch. "I do sort of have work tomorrow morning."

"Right," Sam nodded. "Um, yeah, I-I guess I'll see you later then."

"Bye," Freddie said, pulling on his coat.

"How long was he here?" Garry asked as him and Kenna followed Sam to her bedroom. "He said he was coming by here when he left the restaurant, but that was this afternoon."

"Close to six hours," Sam said.

"What did you guys do?" Kenna asked.

"Nothing really," Sam said, a small smile creeping onto her face as she placed Liam in his crib. "We just…talked. About everything. It was pretty nice, actually."

"Good," Kenna said as Sam laid Roxy down on her own bed. "You really needed that."

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "I really did."

"Well we need to get home, but we'll see you tomorrow," Garry said.

"Night," Kenna said.

As her friends left, Sam laid down next to Roxy, watching her daughter's chest rise and fall peacefully as she slept.

It really had been a great night, even with everything that had happened earlier.

It looked like the Freddie Benson charm could still work its magic. Even after ten years.

…

When Freddie let himself back into his apartment, he found Carly curled up on his couch, waiting for him.

"Hey," he said, tossing his keys onto the stand by the table.

"How is she?" Carly asked at once.

Freddie sighed. "She's-She's okay right now..."

Carly nodded, clutching her hands together tightly. "I really screwed up, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Freddie said honestly. He did feel a little bad for Carly. But at the same time, that didn't excuse her for how she had hurt Sam.

"She probably wants to kill me," Carly mumbled, her voice shaking.

"I wouldn't go that far," Freddie told her gently. "She's mad, yeah, but…"

"Do you think…do you think there's any chance of me fixing this?" Carly asked softly.

Freddie hesitated for a moment. Truthfully, he thought it would take a _lot _for Carly and Sam to even _begin _to have the same bond that they had when he left.

"I think," Freddie answered slowly. "I think it wouldn't do you any harm to try. How long are you planning on staying here?"

"I-I was planning on staying only two days," Carly replied. "But-But I can try and cancel a few meetings, maybe stay here longer…you think that would help?"

Freddie gave her an encouraging smile. "I think that would be a step in the right direction."


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning, Sam was at the restaurant, busy fixing one of the bar stools that had been squeaking before they opened up. Garry was going through receipts at the cash register and Kenna had run out to grab more napkins from the restaurant supply house.

"So what are you doing for you and Kenna's anniversary tomorrow?" Sam asked, finishing up at the bar stool and getting to her feet.

"I'm taking her to see her favorite painter's art show up in New York," Garry replied. "I was trying to get us tickets to that big football game up there too, but they sold out."

"Kenna hates football," Sam pointed out.

"Yes, and I hate looking at paintings for three hours," Garry smirked. "That was going to be my way of unwinding after being in a stuffy museum. Now I probably won't even get to see the game on T.V…which reminds me. Wanna send me text updates with the score while we're out?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Fine. Glad to know you'll be having fun on your anniversary."

"Kenna's just lucky I love her enough to willingly go to an art show," Garry chuckled.

"You know you guys can take off the whole weekend to celebrate if you want," Sam said, leaning on the counter next to Roxy, who was playing with some of the toy zoo animals her and Aiden had gotten her when they took her to the zoo last year for her birthday. "I'll just call in a few more of the waiters and maybe I can even convince Freddie to help out again."

"Hmmm, maybe," Garry nodded. "I'll ask Kenna and see if maybe she wants to go to a bed and breakfast place while we're in New York or if-"

Suddenly the restaurant door opened, and Sam expected Kenna to walk in, returning with the napkins, but instead, it was Carly.

"Um…hi," Carly said softly.

"We're not open," Sam said coldly.

"Sam, can we please talk?" Carly asked.

"I don't really have too much left to say to you," Sam said as Roxy watched the scene curiously. "Besides, you've made your appearance. Shouldn't you be jetting off to Italy now?"

"No, I-I'm not leaving yet," Carly said. "Please Sam, can we just talk for a few minutes? I know you probably never want to see me again, but-but I don't want to lose my best friend like this."

"Um, I-I'll just finish this up in the back," Garry said quickly, grabbing the rest of the receipts.

"No," Sam said firmly. "Stay." She turned back to Carly.

"If you didn't want to lose your best friend, then maybe you should've thought about that before you put everything else in front of our friendship," she said. "You always thought I would just be here waiting for you when _you _had time. But you know what, Carly? I have my own life now, just like you have yours. So why don't you stop trying to pretend we can go back to how things were? We'll just become acquaintances, like we've been for the past ten years. We'll send each other messages on Splashface on our birthdays and if you decide Freddie's important enough to stay in your life, I guess we'll see each other every now and then around him, but that's about as good as we'll ever be again."

"Sam, don't say that," Carly pleaded, her eyes filling with tears. "I-I know I messed up, but-but I want to fix this. Please, just let me back into your life. I-I want us to at least try get our friendship back."

"It's too late for that," Sam said simply. "We can't-"

Just then, a loud noise sounded from the parking lot outside. It was the sound of a car backfiring, Sam knew, but it sounded almost exactly like a gunshot…

And right when she heard the noise, Sam knew what was about to happen.

Roxy suddenly dropped her toys and began screaming, just as she did the night she had come out to see her father's dead body. She screamed and cried loudly, clutching her ears tightly, as though trying to block out anymore of that noise.

"Damn it," Sam mumbled under her breath as she rushed over to Roxy, who was now practically gasping for breath. "Roxy! Roxy sweetie, that was just a car. Nothing's happening, nothing's going to hurt you."

"What-What's wrong? Is she okay?" Carly asked, concerned.

Garry quickly grabbed a paper bag from under the counter and handed it to Sam as he ran over to Roxy as well.

"Roxy, you need to breathe," Sam said, praying she'd be able to get her daughter's panic attack under control without having to take her to the hospital. "Breathe into this bag. That was just a car…it was just a car."

Roxy continued to sob hard as Garry tried to get her to drink some water.

"Should I call someone?" Carly asked, wishing she could do more than stand and stare. "Is she okay?"

"She'll be fine," Sam said harshly, looking over her shoulder as she continued to try and soothe her daughter. She turned away again, stroking Roxy's hair, something that could usually calm her down. "_This _is my life now, Carly. Now why don't you go back to yours? It's what you're best at."

…

That evening, Sam tried to keep her eyes open as she finished closing down the restaurant. But as she wiped down the tables, her mind kept going back to her confrontation with Carly earlier that day.

Had she been too tough on Carly? Should she have taken up Carly's offer to try and piece back together what they could of their friendship?

_No, she had her chance to fix things, _Sam thought firmly to herself. _If she hadn't been so self-absorbed these past ten years, we'd still be best friends like we were when she left for Italy in the first place._

She heard the restaurant door open, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Freddie walked in, giving her a friendly smile. "Hey," he said. "You said you needed help here?"

"Yeah…if you don't mind," Sam nodded. "Sorry, it's just I told Kenna and Garry they could leave early because it's their anniversary tomorrow and I forgot how long this place takes to clean by myself."

"It's no problem," Freddie said, grabbing himself a rag. He waited a few moments before speaking again. "So Carly told me she came by…"

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "She did."

"Did you two talk?"

"I'm sure she told you exactly what happened," Sam said simply.

"Actually, all she told me was that Roxy had some sort of panic attack," Freddie said. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah," Sam replied. "She's okay now. She-She just got scared because she heard a car backfire and she thought it was a gunshot."

"Oh," Freddie said slowly.

"Yup," Sam said, looking over at a nearby booth, where Roxy was fast asleep. She grabbed the tray of dishes and headed back over to the counter. "So, how long _is _Carly staying? I'm surprised she hasn't left already."

"She canceled a few of her meetings so she could stay here longer," Freddie told her.

Sam looked mildly surprised. "Wow…I don't think that girl's ever canceled one of her precious meetings."

"She-She really wants to make things better between you guys," Freddie said.

"She wants a clear conscious before she goes back to Italy," Sam said. "If she really valued our friendship, she would've done something like this a long time ago."

Freddie opened him mouth to say something, but decided against it at the last second.

"So, um, I-I never thanked you for staying with me last night," Sam said, looking down at the ground. "I-I really appreciated it."

"Hey, you weren't in any condition to be by yourself," Freddie said. "I wasn't just going to leave you."

"Still, I'm sure you had better things to do than sit with me," Sam said. "There-There was probably some lame _Galaxy Wars _marathon on or something."

Freddie chuckled. "I actually should re-watch those movies again. I haven't seen them in years."

"Oh!" Sam said suddenly, grabbing her bag from underneath the bar. "I meant to give this to you…I've had it for years but I've never had any use for it. I figure it's better off with you than gathering dust in the back of my closet."

She pulled out a small circular object and tossed it to Freddie. "I think it's called a light orb or something…"

"Whoa, this is a Light Bomb from _Galaxy Wars_!" Freddie exclaimed. "Wait…how'd you get this? This looks really real."

"Yeah, because it's from the set," Sam grinned.

"What?"

"One of the set managers for the movies was an old friend of Aiden's father," Sam told him. "He gave us that for our wedding…Aiden was never a big sci-fi fan, and you know how _I _feel about those movies, so you can have it."

"Whoa, Sam, this-this is incredible," Freddie said. "Thank you."

"Consider that your payment for all those smoothies I made you buy me senior year," Sam said. "Better late than never, right?"

"This is gonna look great in my place," Freddie said, examining the prop. "It can go right next to my Nug Nug model."

"Ugh, you've got to be the _one_ spy who isn't even a little bit cool," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "God, you're still the biggest nub around, aren't you?"

"Maybe," Freddie said. "And I'm sure you're still the biggest blonde-headed demon around too."

"Well I've got to protect my title," Sam said.

Just then, the two heard a loud cry coming from the baby monitor in Sam's back pocket.

"Oh, hold on, Liam's awake," Sam said. "He's probably hungry. I'll be right back."

"Okay," Freddie said, still looking at his new prop. "I'll be here enjoying my awesome new Light Bomb."

"Dork," Sam said, shaking her head as she headed back into the office.

Freddie couldn't help but smile. It certainly had been strange not hearing Sam's nicknames for so long. He never would've imagined he'd miss being called a nub and dork, after all.

He heard movement behind him, and he turned to see Roxy slowly waking up and climbing out of the booth she had been napping in.

She looked around for Sam, starting to appear alarmed that her mother wasn't there.

"Your mom just went to the back to feed your brother," Freddie said quickly as Roxy hurried over to the bar. "She didn't leave you."

Roxy of course didn't reply, but she did seem less anxious at Freddie's words.

She slowly climbed onto one of the bar stools, where there was a large pile of pictures and crayons.

"Are these some of your drawings?" Freddie asked.

Roxy didn't look up at him as she picked up a purple crayon and began working on a new picture, but she gave a small nod.

"Well they seem really nice," Freddie said. "They must've taken you a long time to make. Do-Do you mind if I look at some of them?"

Roxy set down her crayon and hesitantly handed Freddie a few of her pictures.

_Wow, the kid can really draw_, Freddie thought as he looked through the drawings. He got to one of a train zooming on its tracks.

"This one is amazing," Freddie told her. "Well, all of them are, but I think this one's my favorite. I really love trains…I used to build models of them when I was a kid. I was even in a train club in school. Do you like trains?"

Roxy looked up at him, and for once, Freddie noticed her green eyes weren't filled with fear. She nodded quickly.

"Nice," Freddie grinned. "Have you ever been on one?"

She shook her head.

"Well…well maybe one day, if I can convince your mom, we can go on one," Freddie said, handing her the drawings back. "Does that sound like fun?"

Roxy gave him the smallest of smiles as she nodded again.

She picked up her crayon and Freddie watched as she carefully wrote her name on the corner of the train picture. She then handed it back to and pointed at him.

"You-You want me to keep this?" Freddie asked.

Roxy nodded.

"Oh," Freddie said, shocked. "Well…thank you Roxy. I'll hang it up in my apartment when I get home. I've been meaning to get some artwork to brighten up the place."

"Hey what are you guys doing?" Sam asked, coming back out from the office with Liam in her arms.

"Roxy was just showing me some of her pictures she drew," Freddie said. "She's a really good artist."

"Yeah, she is," Sam nodded, surprised to see her daughter acting so…_normal _around Freddie. She was usually a wreck around anybody who wasn't her, Garry or Kenna. She had only known Freddie for a little over a week and she seemed at least somewhat comfortable around him.

She felt a small smile creeping onto her face as she watched Roxy show Freddie another picture.

She hadn't seen her daughter like this in far too long.


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning when Freddie woke up, he dragged his feet out to his living room, where Carly was already awake. She was sitting at his kitchen table looking at the picture Roxy had given him last night.

"Hey," he yawned. "How long have you been up?"

"About an hour," Carly answered softly. She held up the drawing. "This is from Roxy?"

"Yeah," Freddie nodded. "She, um, gave it to me last night."

"Is she okay?" Carly asked.

"Sam said she had a panic attack, but she's fine now," Freddie replied.

"Good," Carly nodded. "Good."

Freddie grabbed a box of cereal and placed it on the table. "Come on," he told her gently. "You know Sam's always been stubborn. Maybe you just need a few more days."

"I don't think she'll ever forgive me," Carly said heavily. "I've never seen her so mad. But I deserve it…I can't believe I did this to our friendship. I'm a monster."

"No, you're not a monster," Freddie said. "You're here now, aren't you? You made some mistakes, but-but-"

"But what?" Carly snapped. "I've tried talking to Sam; she won't listen to me. I don't know what else to do!"

"I thought people in the fashion industry were supposed to be creative," Freddie said, giving her a small smile. "You'll think of something."

…..

"Hey! How was it?" Sam grinned as she let Kenna into her house a couple days later.

"So fun, I forgot how much I missed New York," Kenna said. "We definitely celebrated twelve years of dating right."

"I still can't believe you guys have been together that long," Sam said as the two headed into the kitchen where Sam was playing a board game with Roxy.

"Yup, since our junior year of high school," Kenna said proudly.

"You two need to just elope or something," Sam teased.

"Maybe one day," Kenna chuckled. "Hey Roxy, you seem like you're in a good mood."

Roxy smiled up at her as she rolled the dice for the game.

"Well yeah, she's been beating me for the past hour," Sam said, getting a bottle out of the fridge for Liam, who was entertaining himself in his playpen. "I think this is her new favorite thing; Freddie came over here last night and we played it until midnight. Oh, speaking of Freddie, I meant to tell you that he wants to try and set up a webpage for our restaurant! Think about it; if we have that we could start that catering service we've been talking about. You know how much extra business that could bring us? Especially with any website _Freddie _designs; that guy is a _genius _with tech stuff."

"Wow," Kenna said, raising an eyebrow. "So you spent the whole weekend with Freddie, huh?"

"Not-Not the _whole_ weekend," Sam said.

"But most of it, right?"

"Well…sort of," Sam admitted, taking a sip of her water bottle.

"Hmm," Kenna said knowingly. "So, um, are you still taking any idea of being more than friends with him off the table?"

"Come on, Kenna, you think just because I've spent a lot of time with him that I'm suddenly interested?" Sam scoffed. "Please."

"That wasn't a no…"

"Look," Sam sighed as she watched Roxy move her game piece. "I-I can't just get together with some guy who I haven't seen in ten years. That's crazy. Besides, I have two kids to worry about, the restaurant, I'm trying to sell this house…I just-It's not-I can't-"

"Sam," Kenna said softly. "You know you-you can't just go through the rest of your life alone. You're not even thirty yet; are you really never going to even think about dating again?"

"I-I'll get around to it," Sam mumbled.

"Or are you always just going to keep on making excuses because you're afraid to let anyone in again?" Kenna pointed out. She squeezed Sam's shoulder. "You know Aiden wouldn't want you to live the rest of your life like this. He'd want you to move on."

Sam didn't reply.

"You're not betraying Aiden by living your life," Kenna told her.

Sam nodded. "I just…I just don't know. I don't know what I'm doing right now."

Kenna gave her a supportive smile. "Like I told you before, don't rush into anything. If you feel you still need time to grieve, take it. But don't be afraid when you feel like you don't need to spend every minute grieving anymore."

…..

Sam went to bed that night still thinking about her conversation with Kenna.

Honestly, she didn't know what to think about the idea of her and Freddie in a relationship again.

She knew as far as guys went, Freddie was one of the better ones. She did date him after all, even if it _was_ back in high school. And she also knew Kenna had been right when she said she couldn't expect to live out the rest of her life alone; what was she going to do when Roxy and Liam grew up and left?

The last couple of weeks with Freddie had been amazing; it was almost as if he never left. And those times when he wasn't around, when he was at work or his own home, it was almost as if she felt something missing, as cliché as that sounded.

She loved the way he always seemed to make her forget about what was troubling her; the way he seemed willing to be there for her and would go out of his way for her. And she _loved_ the way Roxy was beginning to warm up to him.

That other night at the restaurant, it had almost been like Roxy was her usual self again, apart from her silence.

Sam slowly sat up in her bed, smiling at Roxy, who was curled up asleep next to her. Then she looked at her left hand, running her right thumb over her wedding band and diamond engagement ring.

They had been on her finger for so long now, it would feel almost unnatural to remove them. It was like they were a tiny piece of her.

But she did know that one day…one day she'd _have_ to remove them.

Sam laid back down.

This was all so strange…a year ago she wouldn't even be thinking about dating again.

She might not know how she felt about Freddie, but there was one thing she did know about him…

He was confusing her now just as much as he used to ten years ago.

…..

The next morning Sam awoke later than she usually did. To repay her for handling the restaurant all on her own for the whole weekend, Kenna and Garry were opening today, so she still had a few hours before she needed to be in.

Roxy was already awake, sitting by Liam's crib and playing with him through the bars.

_She really needs to start sleeping in her own room again_, Sam thought as she pushed aside the many stuffed animals that had made it onto her bed again.

"Alright, Roxy, you need to go ahead and get dressed so I can drop you off at preschool," Sam said, picking up Liam. She suddenly felt a little hopeful. "And-And while you get dressed in here, I'm gonna go start making you some nice eggs in the kitchen, okay?"

At the mention of being left alone, though, Roxy's eyes widened and she furiously shook her head.

"Okay, okay," Sam said quickly, not wanting to upset her so early in the morning. "I'll wait in here while you get dressed."

_It was worth a shot._

Once Roxy threw on her clothes, Sam took her children into the kitchen to begin breakfast.

"Roxy, you know I don't want to scare you or hurt you by leaving you by yourself sometimes," Sam told her daughter as she grabbed a dozen eggs from the fridge. "But you're a big girl, sweetie. I understand you're still a little afraid…because of-because of what happened to daddy, but you can't keep doing this."

Roxy looked down at her lap.

"Come on, honey," Sam said, stroking her hair. "You know you can be the brave girl that can make mommy so proud."

Just then there was a knock at the door, and Roxy turned away from Sam.

Hoping it was Freddie to possibly cheer Roxy up, Sam hurried to the door and looked through the peephole.

Standing on her front step, though, was not Freddie, but _Carly_, the _last _person she wanted to see right now.

_Didn't she get the message the other day_? Sam thought, rolling her eyes.

She knew she should've ignored the knocking and went back to the eggs, and she was just about to do that, but as she turned around, something, she didn't know what, made her stop in her tracks.

So taking a deep breath she opened up the door a crack.

"What do you want? It's seven in the morning," Sam said, crossing her arms.

"Can I come in?" Carly asked. "I-I have something to show you. I think you might like it."

Sam pursed her lips. She had half a mind to slam the door in the brunettes face. But that same something that kept her from ignoring Carly in the first place seemed to take over her instincts again, so she stepped aside and allowed Carly to step inside.

"Make it quick," she mumbled.


	14. Chapter 14

As Carly stepped into the house, she started towards the dark living room, figuring that was where Sam would want to talk.

"In here," Sam said, leading her instead into the kitchen. "Now what do you want to show me?"

Carly opened her bag and pulled out her laptop. "Do-Do you remember that one sleepover we had?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "We had about a million sleepovers. Which _one _are you talking about?"

"The last one we ever had," Carly said softly as she opened up the computer. "About a week before I moved to Italy."

"Oh," Sam nodded. "Oh…yeah, I-I sort of remember."

That was a lie. Sam remembered that night perfectly. Because it had been one of the last nights she had ever spent with her best friend.

…

"_So what's the point of this whole feet spa kit?" seventeen-year old Sam asked as Carly set up two small footbaths in the middle of her bedroom. _

"_It's supposed to relax your foot muscles and get rid of all the dead skin," Carly explained. _

"_Feet have muscles?" Sam frowned. _

"_Wow," Carly chuckled. "Suddenly that C you got in Anatomy last year seems like a miracle." She got to her feet as she finished preparing the footbaths. "Alright, so we need to let these sit here for twenty minutes so all the special powders can dissolve."_

"_Is that footbath or some sort of potion?" Sam frowned. _

"_Oh shush, you're feet will thank me for this," Carly smirked, picking up one of her fashion magazines. "Hey, Sam! Look at this ad!"_

"_What? Is it for those new barbecue-flavored onion rings?" Sam asked excitedly. _

"_No," Carly said. "It's for a website. It lets you make an online time capsule!"_

"_Really?" Sam said. "You mean like those things people burry in the ground and dig up a million years later?"_

"_Yeah, only there's no digging with this one; it's virtual," Carly explained "It says here that you and your best friend go on this site and you make a page with all your history. And then in five, ten…even twenty years, you can come back on and see how much you've changed. This is so cool, we have to do it!"_

"_I dunno, it sounds like…effort," Sam cringed. _

"_Come on, how awesome would it be to look back at this page in ten years and see how we've changed?" Carly said. "I mean who knows where we'll be then. We could be married. We could be __**moms**__!"_

"_Ick, kids," Sam frowned. _

"_We need to kill twenty minutes anyway while we wait for the footbaths," Carly reasoned. "So why not?"_

"_Fine," Sam agreed. "What do we do?"_

"_Well, first we upload a bunch of pictures of us," Carly said. "I'll handle that. Oh, I have that cute one of us from the mall last weekend! And then we answer a few questions. See, easy."_

"_Look at this one stupid questions," Sam grinned, rolling her eyes. "What do you think your future spouse is gonna be like?"_

"_That's not a stupid one," Carly said. "It will be really fun to compare the guys we're with when we go back and look at this. Let's see, I think I'll be with a guy who's friendly, likes to travel, is motivated…oh, and looks great without a shirt."_

"_Wow, Carly, that wasn't a cliché teen-girl answer at all," Sam joked. "You pretty much described that actor from the movie we saw the other night."_

"_I can dream, can't I?" Carly laughed. "Okay, your turn. Who do you think you'll be with?"_

"_I dunno," Sam said thoughtfully. "I guess…he has to be able to entertain me; Mama likes to laugh. He also needs to be hot too. Oh, and he needs to be able to at least last a __**few **__seconds in an arm wrestle with me; I want to at least have a little bit of a challenge. And I guess he should probably be good at whatever he does so between the two of us we'll be able to support my ham needs."_

_Carly grinned. "Hmm, interesting."_

"_What?"_

"_Um, do you not realize who you just described?" Carly asked. _

"_No, who?"_

"_Um, never mind," Carly said quickly. "You know, I just can't wait to open this up together in the future."_

"_We're probably gonna wind up forgetting about this in a year," Sam pointed out. _

"_No way," Carly said firmly. "Besides, this website will actually send a reminder email in however many years we decide to wait to open it. So whenever that time is, we'll look through all this together. Maybe we can have another sleepover!"_

"_Dude, we're gonna be like, old," Sam said. "You really think we're still gonna be having our sleepovers when we're ancient?"_

"_We're not even gonna be that old," Carly said, amused. "And…well, we'll probably have our own lives…maybe husbands and kids, but let's make a deal? When we decide to open this page back up, we'll have a sleepover, just like the ones we have now."_

_Sam laughed. "Yeah, we'll get these stupid footbaths out again, we'll buy a ton of junk food and we'll watch the lamest movie that's out there."_

"_So it's a plan?"_

"_Shoosh yeah!" Sam nodded. "Wow, who would've ever thought I could get excited for something so lame?"_

…..

Sam pursed her lips as she watched Carly type away on her computer. Back then, if someone had told her that today, the two of them wouldn't still be the best of friends, she would've thought they were crazy.

She would've never believed Carly would decide to push her out of her life, even when she needed her the most, but that just went to show you; a lot could change over the years.

"We-We made this time capsule page," Carly reminded her, showing the screen to her. "About us…about our friendship."

As Sam stared at the screen, she saw dozens of pictures, mostly of her and Carly. There was a bunch of them at their old high school, some with them hanging around the iCarly studio, and a few with both of them and Freddie.

They both looked so happy, so carefree…

"Wow," Sam said softly. "We're a lot younger there…"

"Yeah," Carly agreed. "Um, do you remember all the things we typed up on here too? There was one part that we wrote together; _What will our Friendship be like in the Future_?"

Sam nodded. She knew there was no way either of them expected _this _to be the answer.

"Here's what we wrote," Carly said. She began to read. "No matter when we decide to reopen this page and look back at it, we both know that we're still going to be the best of friends. We're going to be all grown up, with jobs, kids, husbands, but we're still going to be each other's rock and shoulder to cry on. We're still going to be there for the other no matter what, and we're still going to be willing to drop everything to help the other when she needs it. No matter what changes over the years, we know there will always be one thing that will never change; our friendship."

Sam was silent as Carly finished.

"Ten years ago, Sam, we-we couldn't have been closer," Carly whispered. "We were _best friends_."

"Yeah, we were," Sam said coldly. "And then you left. And you never looked back."

"I know, and-and I know there's nothing I can ever do to make that okay," Carly said. "But…I want my best friend back, Sam. I want to at least try to fix things between us. Even-Even if we can't ever go back to the way things are, I can't live with myself knowing that you and I aren't in each others lives anymore."

Sam's expression lightened as she continued to stare at the screen, seeing the proof that her and Carly really did use to be almost the perfect definition of friendship.

"I can't ever forgive you for not being here when-when Aiden died," Sam said softly. "I _needed _you, and you ignored me."

"I know," Carly said sadly. "Believe me, I wish I could go back and fix that, I really do."

If Aiden's death had taught her one thing, though, it was that you never knew when somebody was going to be taken from you for good.

Did she really want to go through the rest of her life hating Carly when she had the chance now to at least make peace with her?

Sam took a deep breath. "Maybe…maybe we could talk sometime…We can-we can see what that does."

Carly nodded. "Yeah! That's-That's great!"

"I'm free tomorrow afternoon," Sam said. "There's a coffee shop across from the restaurant. I'll meet you there."

…

That evening, Freddie sat at his kitchen table, his head in his hands.

He was really beginning to adjust to his new life here in New Jersey. Things were going great at work, he could now navigate the city without getting lost, and now he had his two old friends back in his life. Of course things would be even nicer if they were on better terms, but he supposed he was going to have to take small steps. Besides, Carly had returned to his home earlier, excited that Sam had finally agreed to get coffee with her; that had to be a step in the right direction.

What was weighing on his mind, though, was none other than the blonde herself.

She had been back in his life for only a couple weeks, yet it seemed as if she had taken over his thoughts completely.

He couldn't get her smile out of his brain, and all he wanted to do lately is find any excuse to swing by the restaurant or her home.

He wasn't a moron, though. He knew the feelings that were beginning to resurface whenever he was around Sam weren't platonic; he remembered how his palms would start to sweat and his heart would beat out of his chest when he was around Sam when they dated in high school. This feeling wasn't foreign to him; he had harbored feelings for Sam before, during that dating period and even for a while after.

But what was tearing him apart now was the fact that he knew he couldn't dare act on these feelings. Not now.

Her husband had died; she hadn't even been a widow for a year. He didn't want to think he was trying to take advantage of her by swooping in so soon after coming back. But at the same time, it was getting harder and harder to be around her without thinking about whether her lips still felt as soft as they did in high school or if she still liked to whisper little secrets when she cuddled.

Yet he couldn't stay away; it was a typical Catch-22 situation.

_I need some air_, Freddie finally decided, grabbing his jacket and keys. Carly had gone to bed about an hour ago, so he closed the door softly behind him as he stepped out of his apartment.

He stared down the dark street, not sure of where to go. He may be able to get around during the day without getting lost, but he quickly realized the city seemed quite different at night.

Just then, though, he saw Sam's front door open across the street as she brought a trash bag out to the curb.

"Hey!" Sam called, spotting him standing on the sidewalk.

"Hey," Freddie said, heading over to her, even though the whole point of him going out was to try and get her _off _his mind. "What are you doing?"

"Dude," Sam said, raising an eyebrow. "What do you think I'm doing with this trash bag? Taking it to the ball?"

"I'm guessing you're throwing it out."

"Just as sharp as ever, Benson," she smirked.

"Thanks," he chuckled. "So, um, Carly told me you guys are getting coffee tomorrow?"

"Oh…yeah," Sam nodded. "I-I figure I should at least give her one chance…Though I think it's safe to say we're never gonna be best friends again. Maybe we can fix things a little though."

"That's-That's very big of you, Sam," Freddie said.

"Yeah, well," Sam shrugged.

"Where's Roxy?" Freddie asked, knowing her daughter wouldn't have stayed inside alone, even for this short amount of time.

"Her and Liam are over at Kenna and Garry's place," Sam said. "My realtor brought a few people over tonight to look at the house."

"Oh," Freddie said. "Did-Did you have any luck?"

"Nah, I don't think any of them are gonna buy the place," Sam sighed.

"I'm sorry," Freddie said.

Sam shrugged. "There's nothing you can do. So what are you doing out here?"

"Oh, um, I-I thought I'd go and get some air," Freddie said. "I was gonna go for a walk…I just wanted to hear myself think."  
Sam frowned. "You-You're gonna go walking the streets at night by yourself?"

"Well yeah," Freddie replied.

"Dude, I know this might not be New York, but this city can still get a little rough this late at night," Sam said. "You don't want to go strolling along all by yourself. You'll get mugged or jumped or something. And unless you got some serious fighting skills in Greenland being a spy, we both know you won't come off on the winning side of any fight."

"I'll be fine, Sam," Freddie assured her. "I-I hope…Like I said, I-I just want to think."  
Sam gave him a small smile. "Well, um, if-if you want a place to just be alone and think, I know somewhere you can go. Somewhere you won't get jumped. I can take you there, if you want."

"I-Okay," Freddie slowly agreed. "If you insist."


	15. Chapter 15

Sam parked her car in front of a small woodsy area.

"Come on," she said, turning off her engine. "The place is right around here."

"So…you were concerned about me walking alone in the streets," Freddie said, getting out of the car. "But you think the dark, secluded woods is safer?"

"No one ever comes out here," Sam said. "This is a secret spot."

"Okay, well I'll be sure to tell the werewolves and whatever else is out here that," Freddie smirked, rolling his eyes. "That will keep them away."

"Just follow me," Sam said, leading him down a gravel path.

The two walked for a few minutes until they reached a clearing.

"Whoa," Freddie whispered, spotting the large gazebo in front of them.

It truly was a beautiful sight. The wooden gazebo was so large it could've fit two normal-sized living rooms in it. There were bushes with blooming white blossoms all around, and the only sound that could be heard was the running water from the river next to them.

"Pretty nice, right?" Sam smiled as she walked up the steps of the gazebo. "I've never seen any other people around here. Sometimes during my break at work, I just come over here and sit."

"I wouldn't ever imagine someplace like this in the middle of the city," Freddie said.

"Neither did I," Sam chuckled.

The first time she came here, she had been just as surprised and overwhelmed as Freddie was. It had been about five years ago, when her and Aiden were coming home from the doctors after finding out that their first child was going to be a daughter…

…..

"_Just because we're having a girl doesn't mean she's gonna be a daffodil," Sam said firmly as she sat in the passenger seat of Aiden's car, resting her hands on her abdomen. She was only a little over three months pregnant, but she was finally beginning to show. "She's gonna know how to fight when she needs to."_

_Aiden laughed. "Don't go making our kid a bully."_

"_I said when she __**needs**__ to," Sam said. "You know, in case any losers flirt with her when she's older or something."_

"_Hmm, that's okay then," Aiden smiled. He glanced over at her. "I really can't wait for this baby, Sam. I can't wait to start a family with you."_

"_Yeah, me, you, and little Sam Jr.," Sam said._

"_Sam Jr.?"Aiden scoffed. "Um, no. But… what if…I kind of want our daughter to have your name as her middle name."_

"_Really?" Sam said softly. "I was just joking about the whole Sam Jr. thing."_

"_It's sort of a tradition in my family," Aiden explained. "You give the first-born daughter the mother's name as her middle name and you do the same thing with the first-born son and the father."_

"_Hmm," Sam said thoughtfully. "I actually kind of like that. Wow, I bet not too many couples give their kid a middle name before a first name."_

"_Well we'll start the trend," Aiden said. _

"_Hey," Sam said as Aiden made a sudden right turn. "Where are we going?"_

_Aiden flashed her his signature grin. "I want to show you something."_

"_What is it?"_

"_You'll see when we get there."_

"_Dude," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "What are we doing?"_

"_Patience, sweetie," Aiden said brightly. _

_He continued to drive, still refusing to answer Sam's questions about where they were heading. Finally, they came to a stop in front of the woods on the outskirts of the city._

"_The woods?" Sam frowned as Aiden got out of the car and came around to open her door. "What are we doing here? It's so…outdoorsy."_

"_I used to come here as a kid," Aiden said. _

"_You grew up in a mansion, and the best entertainment your parents could give you was this place?" Sam joked. _

"_Trust me, you're gonna love this place," Aiden said, gently taking her hand, giving her a quick kiss. _

"_You better be right," Sam smirked. "I could be lazing around on the couch right now playing my new app."_

"_You'd rather be inside on an computer than out here in the fresh air?" Aiden said, shaking his head. _

"_Absolutely," Sam nodded as they began to walk down the train. _

_Aiden laughed. "Wow, I didn't know I married a little tech nerd."_

_Sam stopped in her tracks. "You did __**not **__just call __**me **__a tech nerd!"_

"_I think I just did," Aiden said, raising an eyebrow. "Whatcha gonna do about it?"_

_Sam playfully hit his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, still laughing._

"_Okay, I know I'm pretty hilarious, but it wasn't that funny," Aiden said, kissing the top of her head. _

"_No," Sam said, her face still flushed with laughter. "It's just…back in Seattle, I-I used to always tease one of my best friends and call him a tech nerd. It was our old tech producer for iCarly, Freddie Benson. You remember, I told you about him; he's the one who's off being a spy now."_

"_Oh yeah," Aiden nodded. "Well, I guess if he managed to keep a website like yours up and running for that long, he __**might **__be a bigger tech nerd than you."_

"_Thank you," Sam said, satisfied. "Though you're still paying for that comment later."_

"_It was worth it," Aiden said. "Okay, now close your eyes."_

"_Really babe?" Sam grinned. "You drag me out to the middle of the woods against my will and now you won't even let me see where I'm going?"_

"_Just follow me," Aiden said, gently placing his hands over his eyes. "Don't worry, I won't let you fall. It's just a few more steps anyway."_

_And so Sam, now unable to see anything, let her husband guide her through the woods until they eventually came to a stop. _

"_Alright," Aiden said, pulling his hands away. "Here it is."  
Sam's mouth fell open slightly as she took in the magnificent sight. It looked like something right out of a drawing. _

"_So you like?" Aiden asked. _

"_Aiden, this-this is amazing," Sam said softly, stepping onto the gazebo. "You came here as a kid?"_

"_Whenever my dad had to do business in in the city," Aiden nodded, sitting down in the middle of the gazebo, holding out his arms for her to sit in his lap. "My parents told us they were the only people in the world who knew about this place. See, nobody ever thinks you can find something like this in the middle of a busy city, so nobody ever opens up their eyes and looks."_

_He rested a hand on her stomach. "And now two more people get to know about it. The two girls who I love more than anything." _

_Sam laid her head against his shoulder. "I think I could stay our here for hours."_

"_It's the perfect day for that," Aiden agreed as a gust of wind blew through. "You know…I've always loved the wind."_

"_Really?" Sam said, shivering slightly. _

"_It's like it's nature's way of letting you know everything's okay," Aiden told her, shrugging off his own jacket and draping it over Sam's shoulders. "It comes out of nowhere and just…touches you."_

"_You sure you don't want to give up being a contractor and become a poet or something?" Sam asked. _

"_Nah, I could never sit inside and write all day," Aiden replied. _

_Sam leaned up, kissing him passionately. "Thanks for bringing me to this little secret spot of yours," she whispered when they pulled apart. _

"_Hey," Aiden said, kissing her again. "Now it's your spot too."_

…_.._

"You can't tell anybody about this place," Sam told Freddie as he continued to look around. "Not-Not even Garry and Kenna know about it."

"I won't," Freddie promised.

"So, um," Sam said, clearing her throat. "I-I know you said you wanted to be alone. I can go sit out in the car and wait for you if you want."

"No," Freddie said softly. "I think I'd like it better if you stayed with me."

He sat down and looked up at the night sky. "I was starting to think there were no stars out here in New Jersey. I guess you just can't see them in the city with all the lights and smog in the way."

"Yeah," Sam said, sitting down next to him. She was close enough to him that she could see their knees were almost touching. She looked over at the river. "Roxy likes coming here to fish sometimes. I can't wait to teach Liam when he gets a little older."

"You know how to _fish_?" Freddie asked.

"Yeah," Sam said. "In culinary school, we got this crazy assignment. We had to make this really fancy fish dish, only the fish had to be freshly caught. By us. So me and Kenna had to teach ourselves. It was actually pretty fun."

"I always wanted to learn how to fish," Freddie said.

"Well, maybe…maybe one day we can come out here again and I can teach you?" Sam suggested.

Freddie smiled. "I'd like that a lot."


	16. Chapter 16

"-And so we stayed out almost all night just talking and staring at the stars," Sam told Kenna as the girls prepared plates in the kitchen the next day. "I always thought that'd be so boring to actually do. You know, you just sit there and look up at the sky. It sounds totally lame, right?"

"Eh, all that cliché romance stuff sounds lame until you do it," Kenna shrugged. "Remember how I used to always say those carriage rides they have in Central Park were probably so stupid until Garry took me on one for my birthday and I wound up loving it?"

"Yeah but you and Garry were still a _couple_ back then," Sam pointed out.

"Well…like I've been saying…maybe you wanting to spend time with Freddie all the time is a sign that you're ready to move on and start dating again," Kenna said.

"I don't know," Sam sighed.

"Sam-"

"Look, maybe-maybe I'm starting to get feelings for Freddie again," Sam said. "Honestly, when he left ten years ago, I-I still wasn't over him from that month we had dated. I was still in love with him when I moved here…but then I met Aiden and-and he swept me off my feet. What if…what if…say, just hypothetically, that Freddie and I were to ever go out on a date. What if I can never feel the same way I felt with Aiden around him?"

"You'll never know unless you find out," Kenna said. "Sam, you just said you were in love with Freddie once. Don't you think it's possible that you can fall in love with him again? Him coming back into your life now could be some sort of sign."

Sam shook her head. "I still don't know. Maybe Freddie and I are just supposed to be friends now…Friends who watch the stars for four hours at night…"

"Right," Kenna said, rolling her eyes. "Listen, maybe soon you could, you know, go out to dinner with him."

"I eat dinner with him here all the time," Sam frowned. "He always comes in when he gets off of work."

"Not dinner here while you're _working_," Kenna said. "I mean go out to dinner just the two of you where _you're _not running around cooking the food and taking orders! One date won't do too much harm if it flops. If you guys feel awkward and think you should just stay friends, then split the check at then end and leave as friends! Just get him to ask you out to dinner-"

"Get him to ask me out?" Sam scoffed. "Kenna, Freddie Benson is probably the most _clueless_, shy, timid guy I've ever met. He'd never just 'ask me out'. You know how we started dating back in high school? I had to kiss him in the middle of our school courtyard and then lock myself in a mental hospital!"

"Why'd you lock yourself in a mental hospital?"

"Because I didn't think any _sane _person could fall for that nub!" Sam replied.

"Well if he don't think he's gonna ask you out, then why don't you just ask him out?" Kenna asked. "You're gutsy."

Sam sighed. "I-I'll…I'll think about it…a little," she told her. She checked the clock above the stove. "Alright, well, it's my break time now. I'll be back in forty-five minutes for you to take yours."

"Where are you going?" Kenna asked.

"The coffee shop," Sam said, taking off her apron. "I-I sort of promised Carly I'd meet here there today."

Kenna pursed her lips. "I thought you were mad at her."

Sam shrugged.

She knew Kenna hated Carly; she didn't know whether it was because of how much she had seen her hurt her over the years, or because of her overly-peppy personality, or if it was even from a tiny bit of jealousy because for the first three or four years of their friendship, Sam had always referred to _Carly _as her best friend.

"She-She seems really sorry about-about not being here when Aiden died," Sam reasoned. "And she's probably going back to Italy soon. I figure what harm is it to at least try and get back on semi-decent terms with her."

Kenna nodded. "Alright, well I think Garry's about to run out to mail some bills. You want me to move Liam's playpen out to the front so I can keep an eye on him?"

"Nah, I'll just bring him with me," Sam said. "I'll see you later, Ken."

…

Carly sat nervously at the small booth, turning her head towards the door whenever she would hear it open.

Would Sam really blow her off? She was supposed to be here almost ten minutes ago…

Just then she heard the bell above the shop's door ding and she looked over her shoulder to see Sam walking over to the booth with her son in her arms.

"Hey!" Carly said as Sam sat down. "Thanks for coming, I'm glad you can make it."

"Yeah, well, I could use some caffeine anyway," Sam shrugged.

"I ordered you this," Carly said, sliding a piping hot mug over to her. "I know it used to be your favorite; it's a mocha caramel late with extra whipped cream and hazelnut drizzle."

Sam stared at the drink.

"I-That was awhile ago, though, wasn't it?" Carly said quickly. "You-You've probably found a new drink."

"No," Sam said softly, picking up the mug and taking a sip. "This is still my favorite…thanks."

"So, um, I see you brought Liam," Carly said, smiling at the infant.

"Yeah, I didn't want to leave him at the restaurant, it can pretty chaotic in there sometimes," Sam mumbled.

"How old is he?" Carly asked.

"Almost seven months," Sam replied.

"Wow," Carly said softly.

After that the two women were silent for a moment. It was odd; Carly had wanted this chance to talk to Sam so desperately, but now that she was here, she didn't know what to say. Why was it so hard to start up a conversation with someone who she used to be so close with?

"So your restaurant seems like it's doing great," Carly said slowly. "You guys seem like you do a nice business."

"We do alright," Sam said simply. "I'm sure it's no where as successful as you huge fashion empire in Italy."

Carly said nothing.

"How's staying with Freddie?" Sam asked, sipping her coffee.

"It's-It's okay," Carly said. "It's nice spending a little bit of time with him…we haven't seen him in so long."

"Yeah, well, _he _had a reason for staying away for so long," Sam said coldly.

Carly nodded. "Okay…I deserved that."

"Why did you do it?" Sam asked, her tone slightly lighter.

"Do what?"

"Why'd you…push me out?" Sam asked. "Was your life in Italy really that much better than what you had before?"

"No!" Carly said at once. "No, of course not."

"Then why didn't you ever call?" Sam asked. "It was always _me _calling _you_. And-And even when you came up for my wedding…I barely saw you before you went running back. What was it?"

"I-I don't know," Carly said. "I mean I loved Italy and spending time with my dad when I first moved there, but for that first year, all I could think about was coming back to Seattle with you and Freddie. But then…I dunno, I guess I just kind of got used to everything over there…and then when I got into that design school, it just seemed like my life was going so well. I didn't mean to push you out, I really didn't, Sam. You can ask anybody, I talked about you and Freddie a lot over there. I was always telling everybody about my best friend who owned her own restaurant back in America and how she was the feistiest blonde out there. I just…I took our friendship for granted, okay? There, I said it. It's like you've been saying, I always thought that whenever_ I _had time, you'd be here waiting for me and we'd always be able to start things up again like I had never left. But…obviously no matter how strong a friendship is, you can't just let it sit there and expect it to stay strong while one friend doesn't pay any attention to it."

Sam said nothing. It was as if Carly had said everything Sam had wanted to say to her herself. She looked across at the brunette, whose eyes were brimmed with tears.

_She still cries way too easily_, Sam thought to herself. _But…Ugh, she __**really **__is sorry…_

"Okay," Sam said. "I-I guess that's that."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Sam said, taking a deep breath. "You can't apologize anymore, can you?"

"What are you saying?" Carly asked slowly.

"I told you…I'm never going to be able to forgive you for not being here when I needed you most…when Aiden died..." Sam said. "That's one thing I know for sure. But-But maybe we can try and start to move past everything that's happened between us these past ten years. We might never be able to go back to _best_ friends…but we can at least try to be friends again."

Carly nodded. "I'd like that. A lot."

….

Freddie yawned as he poured himself a cup of coffee that evening. He had barely gotten any sleep that night, as he had been out with Sam until close to four, and he knew he was going to have to fight to keep his eyes open while he finished up a few reports before going to bed.

He heard the front door of the apartment open up and he turned to see Carly walking in with a pizza box.

"Hey," she smiled. "I picked up a midnight snack. I know you said you had some work to do tonight, and back in Italy pizza always helps me work faster."

"Thanks," Freddie replied. "I might have a slice later. Right now I'm still a little full from that pecan pie I had at Sam's restaurant. Hey, speaking of Sam, how did coffee go?"

"Pretty well, actually," Carly said. "She-She said even though she can't forgive me for not being here when Aiden died, she wants to see if we can at least become friends again."

"That's great," Freddie said.

"Yeah," Carly said, setting the box down. "I guess I kind of killed off any chance we had as staying best friends though, right?"

"Hey, give it time," Freddie said. "You never know where you two could be in another ten years."

Carly nodded. "Yeah…anyway, where'd you go last night? I woke up to get a glass of water and you were gone."

"I hung out with Sam," Freddie said. "I lost track of time."

"Oh," Carly said. "You've…you've been spending a lot of time with her, haven't you?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess," Freddie shrugged. He stared at Carly and noticed she seemed to have a thoughtful expression.

"I-I hope we haven't been making you feel left out," Freddie said quickly. "It's just I haven't seen _both_ of you in so long, and before today, Sam didn't really want to be in the same room as you-"

"Relax, Freddie," Carly chuckled. "I'm not feeling left out. I want you to spend time with Sam. I mean we'll see plenty of each other while I'm in New Jersey. I _am _staying at your place."

"Oh," Freddie said, relieved that Carly wasn't upset. "Then what were you looking at me like that for?"

"Nothing," Carly said, giving him a small smile. "It's just…I'm glad _some_ things haven't seemed to change since we were all last together."

"Huh?" Freddie said, confused.

Carly squeezed his shoulder like she used to back when they were in high school. "I'm going to bed. Good luck with your work tonight."


	17. Chapter 17

Freddie stepped into the diner a few days later, expecting to see Sam waiting tables as usual.

But as he looked around, he couldn't spot the blonde anywhere.

"Hey," Kenna said, giving him a friendly smile as she dropped off an empty pitcher at the counter. "You hungry? I can put you in that table over there."

"Um, sure," Freddie nodded. "But is Sam here? She left her sunglasses in my car when we went and got ice cream with Roxy and Liam last night."

"She should be back in a little bit," Kenna said. "Roxy has her therapy sessions today."

"Oh," Freddie said. "Right…she did mention that."

"So," Kenna said, leading Freddie over to the empty table. "How you liking New Jersey so far?"

"It's nice," Freddie replied. "I sort of like being in a city where there's more to do than stay inside and wait for the latest snow storm to pass."

"Sam really likes having you here too, I think," Kenna said. "I haven't seen her this happy in a long time."

"Well I missed seeing her while I was away," Freddie said. "I'm actually a little surprised at how easily we were able to pick up where we left."

"Yeah?" Kenna smiled. "It makes sense, though. You guys seemed close when you were in high school. I've heard about the stuff you two used to do."

"Yeah, even when she'd give me insanely painful wedgies, the two of always managed to have fun together," Freddie smiled. "We'd play Cupcake Slam, we'd pull pranks on my weird doorman…oh, my favorite was this one game, we called it Meat Golf, where you'd take some meatballs and, well, play golf with them."

"Wow, you guys did have some fun," Kenna chuckled. "You know…maybe it's time you guys started trying to bring back some of that _fun _you had when you were younger. You know what I'm saying?"

Freddie frowned. "Um…so you think I should maybe ask Sam if she wants to go play miniature golf sometime? Hey, you know, that sounds like a good idea. We can bring the kids too, I'm sure they'd have fun. There was actually a golf course not far from where I was stationed, but it was always too cold to play. Plus I never really became good friends with any of the guys. But now that I'm back here with Sam, I'll finally have a friendly face to go with. Well, semi-friendly…She always did get kind of vicious if I started to win."

"No," Kenna sighed, rolling her eyes. "That's not what I-Never mind."

"Huh?"

"Nothing," Kenna said, shaking her head. "I'll go get you your usual."

As she walked away, Freddie could've heard her mutter something about Sam being right under her breath.

A few minutes later, as Freddie was sipping his sweet tea, the restaurant door opened and Sam came in with Roxy and Liam.

"Hey!" she smiled, spotting Freddie at once.

"Hey, I have your sunglasses," Freddie said, handing her the glasses. "I thought I'd stop by and give them to you. And I was hungry."

"I think I'm starting to rub off on you," Sam smirked. "Anyway, I have to go get Roxy some lunch, but then I probably have a few minutes to talk before we get busy again."

"Cool," Freddie said as Roxy climbed into his booth, sitting across from him. "Hey, Roxy. I have something for you too."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small toy train. "I found this in some of my old stuff last night. It's the first train I ever got when I was a kid. I thought you'd like it."

Roxy's face lit up as she took the train.

"Whoa, dude, you don't have to do that," Sam said.

"Eh, I don't play with it," Freddie shrugged. "It deserves to be someone who will actually get some use out of it."

Roxy looked up at Freddie and did a quick hand gesture.

"She's saying thank you," Sam told him.

"Well you're very welcome, Roxy," Freddie grinned.

"Come on, Roxy, you need to eat," Sam said. "Uncle Garry's in the office. You can stay with him and have your lunch because I'm gonna be busy soon."  
Roxy shook her head and did a few more hand signs.

Sam frowned. "Really?"

Roxy nodded.

"What is it?" Freddie asked.

"She wants to eat out here with you," Sam said. "Do you mind?"

"No, I could use some company," Freddie said. "You want me to tell you more about some of the first trains in the U.S., Roxy? I didn't get to finish last night."

Roxy nodded again.

"Um, okay then," Sam said, caught off guard. "I hope you know what you got yourself into, Roxy. The nub can go on and on for hours."

Sam headed towards the kitchen, looking over her shoulder again and smiling as Freddie began his mindless ramble.

"Hey, you're back," Kenna said as Sam stepped into the kitchen. "I guess you saw Freddie's here too."

"Yeah, and Roxy wants to sit out there and eat lunch with him," Sam said.

"Really?" Kenna smiled. "That's great! You weren't kidding when you said she was really warming up to him. By the way, how was her therapy session?"

"Same as always," Sam sighed. "The therapist taught her some more signs. I think I'm gonna pull her out of there, maybe try and find a new place."

"What? Why?"

"Because what's the point of taking her there when she's still not talking!" Sam said. "Soon she'll know enough sign language to never have to talk again!"

"Well didn't the therapist tell you when you first started this could be a long process?" Kenna asked.

"Not this long," Sam mumbled.

"Why don't you give it a little while longer," Kenna suggested. "Who knows? Roxy might be right around the corner of talking again."

"Maybe," Sam nodded slowly. "I guess I'll wait a little longer. Did Freddie order? I'll bring out his food with Roxy's."

"Yeah, here it is," Kenna said, handing Sam a salad. "Oh, and you weren't kidding when you said he was completely clueless; that guy's _oblivious_!"

"Wait…what'd you do?" Sam asked. "You didn't try and get him to ask me out, did you?"

"Oh I tried," Kenna nodded. "But he was totally lost. I give up. You're on your own."  
"Told you," Sam chuckled. "For a smart guy he's pretty stupid."

"So it looks like you _are _gonna have to make the first move with him," Kenna said.

"No one's making any moves," Sam said, rolling her eyes, putting the two plates on a tray. "Now if you'll _excuse _me, I have to work."

…..

"Come on honey, I know teething isn't fun, but if you keep crying you're gonna wake Roxy up too," Sam whispered late that night, trying to soothe her whimpering son. "In a couple weeks you're gonna have a mouth full of big boy teeth and you can start eating yummy food like your sister and me! Won't that be fun?"

Sam continued to gently bounce him in her arms, and soon enough, he was fast asleep.

Sam smiled as she laid him down in his crib.

"Night, Liam," she said softly.

She walked over to her dresser, throwing off her work clothes and pulling on some old sweatpants and a t-shirt. She stared at her reflection in the mirror as she undid her ponytail. Even though it had been hours since it happened, she still couldn't get the image of Roxy and Freddie sitting at that table, smiling and having a good time. Roxy had clung to every word of his train lecture and Freddie had spent the entire afternoon helping her draw over a dozen different pictures.

As she turned and glanced over at her sleeping daughter, she thought about what her therapist had told her once again after their session today.

"_She really needs to see you move past this, Sam. She can't accept Aiden's death until you do so yourself."_

Maybe that was why Roxy still wasn't talking…because even though Sam had been trying for so long to try and get back to her normal life, she knew she was holding back. She slowly looked down at her finger, at her rings.

_Roxy needs me to stop trying to hold onto something that can't be brought back, _Sam thought to herself. _I have to let go…for her._

And so for the first time in years, Sam gently slid off her wedding band and engagement ring.

She felt her breath stop as she turned them over a few times in her hand, marveling at how odd it felt for her ring finger to be bare. She glanced down at the engraving that was carved into her wedding band: _Sam, you are my everything_.

Sam could feel a few tears welling in her eyes as she carefully placed the rings in her jewelry box, right next to the small picture of her and Aiden on their wedding day.

"You were my everything too, Aiden," Sam whispered. "But you're gone now…I have to move on."


	18. Chapter 18

As Sam stepped out of her car and into the parking lot of the restaurant, she still wasn't used to how naked she felt without her rings. They probably didn't even weigh a couple of ounces, yet it was if her whole hand was a thousand times lighter.

She took Liam out of his car seat, careful not to wake him. She had just dropped Roxy off at preschool, and if she could make it through today, it would be the first full week of school she had completed without having to be sent home from having a panic attack since Aiden had died.

"Sam!"

Sam turned around to see Carly getting out of a cab and hurrying over to her.

"Hey," Sam said. "What are you doing here?"

"I got you some breakfast," Carly said, handing her a small bag with two bagels in it. "See, one of the catering services I used for one of my fashion show's receptions has been sending me all these gift certificates for their bagel chains, only I never have time to use them in Italy, so I figure this is my perfect opportunity to go crazy and get a thousand dollars worth of free bagels."

Sam's eyes widened. "You got a thousand dollars worth of bagels? Wow…clearly I'm in the wrong business."

"I know you probably could make yourself a better breakfast in the restaurant, but I just thought I'd bring them by," Carly said.

"Hey, believe it or not, I get sick of eating the same old leftover eggs everyday," Sam said. "These bagels are just what I needed."

"Oh, well, good," Carly said. "Um…anyway, I-I actually need to do a little work today from Freddie's place. I just have to send in a few emails and make a few calls, it's no biggie. But, um, when you and Freddie are done with work tonight, I was thinking the three of us could maybe do something. You-You can bring Roxy and Liam, of course…maybe we can all watch a movie at Freddie's or something.

"Oh," Sam said. "I-I can't tonight."

Carly's face fell. "Oh, well, um, that's alright. I just thought-"

"I want to," Sam said quickly. "I just have a meeting with my realtor tonight. But I'm free tomorrow night. Would that work?"

"Yeah!" Carly said at once. "Yeah, that'd be great. I'll talk to Freddie about it later."  
"Cool," Sam said, giving her a small smile. "Hey, um, I know you said you had to do some work, but do you maybe wanna come into the restaurant for a little bit?"

Carly looked slightly surprised at Sam's gesture. "Okay…yeah, I-I'd like that."

She followed Sam up the steps and into the restaurant.

"You'll have to hang around in the kitchen," Sam told her. "I have to start prepping for the breakfast rush."

"Oh, well do you need any help with the cooking?" Carly asked.

Sam couldn't help but let out a small laugh as she remembered how Carly could manage to mess up even the simplest of recipes. "Actually, do you think you can take Liam for me?" Sam asked. "I don't want to drag his playpen all the way in here from the office."

"Okay," Carly agreed as Sam carefully handed her the infant.

"He's probably gonna wake up soon, but just rub his back a little if he starts to cry," Sam told her, turning on the stove.

"Right," Carly nodded, watching Sam. "So…you're selling your house?"

"Yup," Sam sighed. "Or trying to, anyway. I found a place not too far that would be good for the kids and me. Problem is until someone buys the house, I can't afford it."

"Well…I'm sure you'll sell it soon," Carly reasoned. "It's a great looking place."  
"It's been on the market for awhile," Sam shrugged. "The realtor says it's just not a good time for buyers right now. Something about home values, I don't really understand all that stuff."

Carly chuckled. "We covered a whole section on that in our economics class our junior year, remember?"

"Carly, I don't even remember _taking _an economics class," Sam smirked.

"Sure you do," Carly said. "You would always force Freddie to let you copy his homework? And when you two were dating, the teacher caught you two passing notes and he made Freddie read them all out loud to the class."

"Oh yeah…" Sam nodded. "That guy was a jerk."

"I don't think I'd ever seen Freddie so embarrassed," Carly said.

"He looked like a deer in headlights," Sam agreed. She looked over at Carly. Back in high school, she remembered how Carly had always been able to lend an ear when it came to Freddie. She helped her get ready for their dates and she helped her figure out what to do when she was confused about something involving their relationship.

And even though it had been over a decade since they had those chats, and even though Sam had practically hated Carly for the past year, she wondered if Carly still had the same skills she had back in high school. She knew Kenna was trying to help her, but she simply did not know Sam and Freddie's past like Carly did.

"Hey, speaking of Freddie," Sam said slowly. "I-I was just wondering…has he, um…has he said anything about us hanging out a lot lately?"

"What do you mean?" Carly asked.

"You know, has he said he's having fun?" Sam asked. "Or is getting tired of it, or is he-"

"He's really enjoying seeing you again, Sam," Carly smiled. "He says that all the time."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Carly nodded. "You can tell by how happy he looks when he says it that he really missed you while he was away."

"Oh," Sam said softly. "Um, when you say he missed me…do you think he just missed us hanging around as friends? Or, um-"

"Sam?" Carly said slowly. "Are you…are you maybe a little interested in Freddie?"

Sam sighed. "I guess…maybe a little. I _do _sort of need to get back in the dating game. And I'm starting to feel the same way I used to back when we were seeing each other in high school. But-But I dunno, that was so long ago. Who knows if Freddie even _remembers _how we used to feel about each other. He might just be glad to have me back as a friend and not even be interested in me like _that._"

"Well…" Carly said. "I-I guess…maybe you should try and figure out if Freddie _does _have feelings for you. That is gonna be tricky…I mean you can't wait for _Freddie _to do anything. He's a little bit of a whimp when it comes to these things."

"Exactly!" Sam nodded.

"Look, personally, I think Freddie has feelings for you," Carly said.

"You do?" Sam frowned.

"Yeah…but I think he's trying not to act on them," Carly continued. "He-He may not think _you're _interested in him. So…I guess if you _do _want to try things out with him, you need to bring it up yourself."

Sam nodded thoughtfully. "There's no way out of that, huh? I really have to make the first move?"

"It's Freddie," Carly smirked. "You can flirt and hint all you want, and he still would be completely clueless."

"He would, wouldn't he?" Sam chuckled.

"So you think you're gonna bring it up with him?" Carly asked.

Sam looked down at her bare finger. "I think…I think I'm ready to."

…

That evening, Freddie came into the restaurant, as it seemed he did every night after work.

_I'm not going to be able to fit into any of my clothes soon_, Freddie thought to himself. _How can Sam eat this stuff and stay so…perfect looking?_

Before he could mentally scold himself for thinking about Sam that way, Sam herself came out of the kitchen.

"Alright, nub, I need you test a few things in the kitchen for me," she said, leaning against the bar counter.

"What sort of things?" Freddie asked.

"Kenna and I have been playing around with this new barbecue sauce recipe, and I want to see how people other than the two of us like it," Sam said.

"Okay," Freddie agreed, heading back into the kitchen. "I could go for some barbecue sauce."

"Just let me stir it a little longer so it can thicken," Sam told him, picking up a wooden spoon. "I want to make sure it's just right."

As she stirred, Freddie quickly noticed that Sam's wedding ring was gone.

_She took it off! _Freddie thought excitedly. _She took off her ring!_

_**But that still doesn't mean you can go and date her now**_, Freddie told himself firmly. _**Just because she took off her wedding ring doesn't mean she's ready to start seeing people. Besides, you don't want to risk ruining what you have now with Sam. Roxy's beginning to like you and her and Carly are starting to patch things up…This is your chance to finally have what you've been missing for ten years. Settle for that!**_

"Here, try some with these ribs that we have leftover," Sam said, handing him a small plate. "And tell me what you think."

He took a bite, instantly feeling his taste buds skyrocket.

"This is amazing!" he said at once.

"You really like it?" Sam asked.

"I _love _it," Freddie nodded. "What did you put in that barbecue sauce?"

"That's a secret," Sam grinned.

"Oh come on, I told you about Greenland," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.

"Sorry," Sam said firmly. "Maybe one day…"  
"Well, either way, this is the best thing I've ever tasted," Freddie said, taking another bite. "Good work."

"Thanks," Sam replied. She looked back down at the pot of barbecue sauce.

_Just ask him to go to dinner_, Sam told herself. _Just go on…you need to do this. It will be the first step in moving on. Once you do this, it will be the first step in getting Roxy back on track to talk…do this for her. And you._

"Hey," Sam said slowly, feeling her heart race. "What-What are you doing Wednesday night?"

"I figured I'd be hanging out here like I always do," Freddie said. "Why?"

"Well, um, actually, Wednesday is my night off," Sam explained. "See, every month, Kenna and Garry and I pick one day for us each to have a break since it can get pretty exhausting running around here all the time."

"Oh," Freddie nodded. "That's smart thinking. I was beginning to think you all just worked around the clock."

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "Anyway…um, I-I was wondering if…if maybe…"

_Oh my God! How hard is it to ask him to get dinner with you? You're not asking him to marry you! Jeez, have you really become this awkward around guys? You're worse than you were when you were fourteen!_

"Wondering what?" Freddie asked.

"I was wondering if…if maybe you wanted to spend the day at the gazebo I showed you," Sam said lamely, chickening out at the last minute. "You said you wanted me to teach you to fish. I think Roxy's been wanting to go, and maybe the fresh air will help Liam out with his teething."

"Sure, that sounds great," Freddie grinned. "It will be fun."

"Alright then," Sam nodded. "It's a plan. Hey, I need to just finish up a few more things in here, and then I can meet you out by the bar, okay?"

"Okay," Freddie nodded, taking the last bite of his rib. "But seriously, count me in for seconds of this."

As Freddie left the kitchen, Sam let out a soft groan.

_Well, I don't think it qualifies as asking him out on a date when you drag your kids along with you _Sam thought. _But…I guess it's a start. We'll have a good time fishing, at least. _


	19. Chapter 19

Freddie nervously paced back and forth in his kitchen as he anxiously thought of his fishing trip with Sam later that day. He was excited he was going to be spending the day with her, but he was also scared, because he didn't know how much longer he could handle being so close to Sam like this without doing something as stupid as acting on the annoying feelings he had inside him that still weren't going away.

_Sam may have taken off her ring, but that doesn't mean she's ready for men to start throwing themselves at her, _Freddie told himself firmly. _Especially me, who's supposed to be her friend._

"When are you and Sam going to head out?" Carly asked, causing Freddie to stop his pacing.

"Um, I'm gonna head over there in a few minutes," Freddie said.

Part of him wanted to ask Carly to tag along, because he knew with her there, it'd be easier for him to stifle any impulses that began to surface. But Sam had told him not to tell anybody about that secret spot, and he didn't want to betray her trust.

"Well have fun," Carly smiled. "I've never been one for fishing, so I'm glad you two are gonna be able to do this together."

"Yeah, me too," Freddie said. He fiddled with the end of his shirt. "Hey, Carly?"

"Yeah?"

"Did-Did you notice that Sam took her wedding ring off?"

"Yeah," Carly said softly. "I noticed. But I didn't want to say anything. I don't know if she wants to draw attention to it, and I'm not really in any position to press it."

"Well, um, do you think it means anything?" Freddie asked.

"What? Like if that means she's, you know…moving on?" Carly asked.

"Yeah."

"Maybe you should try and figure that one out on your own," Carly said, giving him a small smile.

…

"Alright, you ready to go fishing soon?" Sam asked, sliding a sandwich in front of Roxy in the family's kitchen.

Roxy eagerly nodded.

"Alright, well Freddie should be here any minute, so eat up," Sam said, preparing some formula for Liam.

There was a knock at the door.

"There, that's probably him now," Sam said.

She quickly headed to the door, pausing to check her reflection in the mirror in the entranceway.

_I need to do something with my hair_, she thought. _Maybe I should run a brush through it again before we-Ugh! Snap out of it! This isn't even a date and you're already acting all frilly._

But when Sam looked through the peephole, her smile fell as she saw it wasn't Freddie standing on her front step.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked, trying to keep her voice civil as she opened her door and let Carol in.

"I have some documents for you to sign," Carol said simply, walking into the kitchen as she pulled a manila folder out of her bag. "It's about Aiden's finances. I'm still working on getting them in order for you."

"Oh," Sam said as Carol gave Roxy a quick hug and rustled Liam's hair. "Right. So does that mean the money's close to being transferred?"

"It could still take a little while," Carol replied. "I'm very busy, after all. You seem really eager for this money, Samantha."

Sam bit her tongue. She was used to these remarks; for years Carol had been making snide comments that Sam was only with Aiden for his money. That couldn't be further from the truth, and Carol knew it. Everything Aiden and Sam had made during their time together had been from their own hard work. Aiden had never touched his inheritance, and Sam never wanted him to. They both agreed they would save it for when Roxy and Liam went off to college or if they ever found themselves in serious financial trouble.

"Carol, I don't want his money so I can start living some fancy lifestyle," Sam said, trying to stay calm. "I-I'm falling behind on my bills, if you have to know. Most of our savings went into the funeral! And-And I have therapy bills to pay, I have diapers and formula to buy…Next month is the busy season for the restaurant and I'll be able to get everything under control then, but until then…"

Carol shrugged. "I'll have it ready for you when I can."

"Can you just, you know, try and rush it?" Sam asked, lowering her voice. "Listen, the house isn't selling as fast as I thought. The other night my realtor said to have any luck, I was going to have to bring down the price by a lot. Unless I get that money, I'm not going to afford to move anywhere after this house sells!"

Carol raised an eyebrow. "I thought you just said you weren't interested in a new fancy lifestyle. I think buying a new house certainly qualifies as a lifestyle change."

"I'm not selling this house to move into some new, giant house just for the fun of it!" Sam hissed. "Do you know what it's like having to wake up every morning and walk past the room where your husband was murdered? Do you know how hard it must be for Roxy to stay here? I just want to move so we can all try to start moving on!"

Just then there was another knock at the door and Sam gave Carol one last hard glare before she went to answer it.

This time when she looked out the peephole, she did see Freddie, and she opened up and let him in.

"Hey!" he said brightly, stepping into the house. "Who's ready for some fishing?"

He glanced over at Carol, who was giving Freddie the coldest expression Sam had ever seen.

"Well then," she said, taking the papers Sam had just signed and stuffing them back in her bag. "I should be going. Bye Roxanne, bye Liam."

As she walked past Sam, she lowered her voice slightly. "It seems you're moving on just fine in this house."

Sam clenched her jaw and said nothing as her sister-in-law left the house.

"Um, did I interrupt something?" Freddie frowned.

"No," Sam said quickly. "Come on, let's get going before it gets dark."

…..

"Well, that's the fifth line you've managed to get caught in a tree," Sam said as she helped Freddie fix his rod once again. "I knew you were never too good at things that didn't involve a computer screen, but this is ridiculous."

"Well it's tricky!" Freddie defended.

Sam smiled as the two sat back down by the river. "Just try again. Just gently cast your line in. And hold the rod right. Here, like this."

She reached over and guided his hands on the rod.

Freddie instantly felt his heart race as Sam's hands covered his, and he willed himself to try and block out the sensation.

"Now give it a try," Sam said as Roxy sat down on Sam's lap with her own small rod.

Freddie tried once again to cast his line out, this time actually landing the hook in the water.

"Hey! I did it!" Freddie said proudly. "Now what?"

"Now you sit and wait for a fish to come," Sam said. "This is my favorite thing about fishing. You can just laze around for a little bit."

She looked into Liam's stroller next to her, checking on the sleeping infant.

"Wow, Roxy, you're really good at fishing," Freddie said as Roxy successfully cast her own line in.

Roxy beamed at him.

"She learned when she was three," Sam chuckled. "And she's loved it ever since."

"Hey…I think I feel a bite on my line!" Freddie said. "What do I do? How do I reel it in?"

"You-" Sam started, but Roxy had already gotten up and sat down next to Freddie, taking the rod from him and reeling it in herself.

"Okay, I guess I'm fired as the fishing teacher then," Sam laughed. "You gonna help Freddie out now, Roxy?"

Roxy nodded.

"Well maybe I'll have more luck with you helping me," Freddie grinned at Roxy.

As the two continued to try and reel in Freddie's fish, Sam recalled how even back when she was talking, fishing always seemed to bring out the best in Roxy. When she had first learned, Sam had thought she couldn't get any happier…

…

"_Alright, Roxy, just hold the rod like this," Aiden told his daughter as him and Sam sat by the river with her. _

"_Why don't I get a big rod like you and mommy?" Roxy asked. _

"_Because it's bigger than you," Sam smirked. "I thought liked your little rod."_

"_Will it still catch fish?" _

"_Of course it will," Aiden assured her. "But remember, honey, fishing requires a lot of patience. You can't expect to catch something your first try."_

"_What's patience daddy?"_

"_Um…Sam?" Aiden said, looking over at his wife._

_Sam rolled her eyes. "It means you're gonna have to wait a little while before you catch a fish. It could take ten minutes or it can take an hour."_

"_An hour?" Roxy gasped. "That's a long time."_

"_Well you can just sit and relax while you wait," Aiden told her, sitting her down on his lap as he helped her cast her line. "Although, the way mommy's going, she might not save us any fish to catch."_

"_Not my fault I'm so good," Sam grinned. _

"_You know, I'd find you bragging annoying if you didn't look so darn cute while you did it," Aiden said, his eyes sparkling. _

"_Aw," Sam chuckled. "And I'd find your lame lines cheesy if they weren't so sweet."_

_Aiden rolled his eyes as he leaned over and gave her a quick kiss._

"_Yuck!" Roxy cringed. "Kissing is gross!"_

"_Yes it is," Aiden said. "So remember that when you're a teenager."_

"_Daddy!" Roxy yelled, jumping up to her feet. "Something's pulling at my line!"_

"_Already?" Sam said as Aiden and her jumped to their feet to help her reel in her catch. _

_After a few short minutes Roxy pulled in a sizable fish._

"_Wow!" Sam said, impressed as Aiden helped Roxy drop the fish in their water bucket. "Sweetie, you caught a good one! I think it's a footer."_

"_Yeah, good job," Aiden said, kissing the top of her head. _

"_He's so cute!" Roxy said, looking into the bucket. "Look at my fishy!" _

"_Yeah, he's very cute," Sam said._

"_Can I take him home?" Roxy asked. _

"_Oh, Roxy, he-he won't live very long once we take him from the river," Aiden told her gently. _

"_He won't?" Roxy said sadly. "So I can't keep him? But I'll miss him!"_

"_I know you will, but…he'd be a lot happier if you let him back into the river," Sam said. _

"_You mean he doesn't like me?"_

"_I'm sure he likes you very much," Aiden said. "But I bet he has a mommy and a daddy back in that river who are very worried about him right now. And as much as he might like you, I'm sure he misses his fish family and fish friends."_

"_Oh," Roxy said. "I don't want him to be sad."_

"_I know you don't," Sam said, rustling her hair. "But I bet once you let him go again, he'll tell all the other fish how nice you were."_

"_Really?" _

"_Uh-huh," Aiden nodded. _

"_Okay!" Roxy said brightly, walking over to the riverside with the bucket. "Bye-bye, fishy!"_

"_Well, I think she just out-cuted herself for today," Aiden chuckled as Sam snapped a picture with her phone. _

"_I'm still impressed with her fishing skills," Sam said. "Do you know how long it took me to catch my first fish? Six hours!"_

"_Jealous that Roxy's a better fisher than you?"_

"_Nah," Sam smiled as Aiden put an arm around her. "If I'm gonna be passed up by someone, I'd rather it be by my own kid."_

"_I'm so glad she's liking it out here," Aiden said as they watched Roxy cast her line into the river again. "I've always dreamed about taking my kids out here some day."_

_Sam rested her head on his shoulder, saying nothing in reply. _

"_Hey, Sam?" Aiden said softly. _

"_What?"_

"_What would you maybe think of…having another one?"_

"_Another what?" Sam asked. _

"_Another kid," Aiden said seriously. _

"_You-You want another kid?" Sam said, looking up at him. _

"_Well…yeah," Aiden nodded. "I mean, I've just been thinking lately and-and I really love being a dad. It's the greatest thing I've ever been able to do. And I-I just think…I'd kind of like to do it again."_

_Sam looked over at Roxy, bouncing up and down in anticipation as she waited for her next catch._

"_It's just something to think about," Aiden said. "If you think we should maybe wait-or-or if you don't want-"_

"_I think I'm ready to start trying again too," Sam said, taking his hand and gently squeezing it. "I think…I think it'd be nice to have one of those big old families with you."_

"_You do?" Aiden grinned. _

"_Yeah," Sam said softly. "Although when I say 'big' I don't mean __**too **__big. I don't want to have more kids than we can even handle. I sort of like three…"_

"_I do too," Aiden said, kissing her temple. "Three little kids running around, driving us insane…I like it."_

"_Well maybe we can start trying for baby number two when we get home then," Sam said, raising an eyebrow suggestively. _

"_I like what I'm hearing," Aiden laughed. _

"_Mommy! Daddy!" Roxy said, running over to her parents and jumping in Aiden's lap. "I almost caught another fish! But he let go of the hook I think."_

"_You really love fishing, huh?" Sam said. _

"_Yeah!" Roxy nodded. "Can we come every day?"_

"_Not every day," Aiden told her. "But we'll definitely come back here soon."_

"_This is my favorite place in the whole world," Roxy said happily, curling up in Aiden's lap. "I wanna stay out here forever and ever."_

…

"Aw man…it's just an old tree branch!" Freddie said as him and Roxy reeled in his catch.

"Typical," Sam said as Roxy grinned, clearly finding the situation hilarious.

"What's typical?"

"Nubby fisherman, nubby catch," Sam smiled.

"Ha, ha," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.

"Relax, most people don't catch anything right away their first time," Sam told him. "Besides, this time of year isn't exactly the best for fishing."

Just then Roxy tugged on her mom's arm, pointing excitedly at a group of butterflies fluttering around a patch of wildflowers. She gave a few signs and Sam nodded.

"Yeah, you can go try and catch one."

Her and Freddie watched as the child ran off towards the butterflies, her long, blonde hair flying behind her.

"Well," Freddie sighed. "I think I officially suck at fishing."

"You wanna take a break?" Sam asked knowingly, getting to her feet. "Let's go sit under the gazebo. It's getting a little too sunny, I want to take Liam into the shade."

"Okay, Freddie agreed.

The two brought Liam's stroller up to the gazebo, still keeping an eye on Roxy as she continued to chase the butterflies.

"Hey, um, thanks for coming here today," Sam said, leaning against the railing of the gazebo. "It's been…fun."

_Still not exactly a date_, Sam thought to herself. _But fun. _

"Yeah, it has been," Freddie nodded, leaning on the railing next to her.

Sam looked up at him, studying his expression. He seemed to be in deep thought about something.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I-I'm fine," Freddie said quickly.

_No I'm not_, Freddie said to himself. _Because the more and more I hang out with you, the more I want to do something…__**more**__!_

"You sure?" Sam asked.

"I really like it out here," Freddie said, avoiding her question. "It has a great view…all these trees, the river, the flowers…"

"I know," Sam agreed. "There's not too many nice views in the city. New Jersey or Seattle."

"Yeah, Seattle didn't exactly have too many places for sight seeing," Freddie said. "You look out and all you see is the Space Needle and a bunch of street lights."

"Your fire escape always had a nice view," Sam said softly. "Those times we'd hang out on it, we could always see the stars."

Freddie smiled at the memory. "Yeah…I guess it was one of the few places you could go to get away from everything."

Sam looked down at her hands, feeling her heart racing. "We-We had some good times out on that fire escape, didn't we?"

_Good times? Try great, _Freddie thought. Though he hoped Sam wouldn't continue to bring up the site of so many of their intimate moments. It wasn't helping control the feelings that were already so close to bursting.

"You remember when we were, what, fourteen?" Sam went on. "And I had humiliated you live on the web, so I went out there to apologize to you."

Freddie chuckled. "Yeah, I remember…we wound up getting our first kisses that night, didn't we?"

_Oh man, why are you bringing up kissing her_? Freddie internally moaned. _Like __**that's **__what you talk about with your friend when she brings you fishing! Way to go, Benson._

But to his surprise, Sam didn't seem embarrassed or flustered by the comment. In fact…she smiled.

"Yeah…we had our first kiss out there," she said. "And our last kiss…when we broke up."

Freddie could feel his face reddening as he remembered how broken he felt that night, watching Sam leave that fire escape at midnight after their final moments as a couple. He could practically still feel her lips pressed to his…

He glanced down at her, at her red lips that seemed so familiar, even after all this time.

_Stop it! _Freddie told himself firmly. _Stop thinking about it! Stop it before you do something you'll regret!_

"Kind of funny how that worked out, isn't it?" Sam asked, staring into his eyes, locking her perfectly blue ones with his dark ones.

And that's when Freddie knew he had lost his battle against his own will. Sam's eyes had always been his weakness. Even before they had dated in high school, he still secretly admired how vibrant and captivating they were. They could always draw him in, no matter what.

And as he leaned closer to her, it seemed he no longer had any control over what he was doing, and he gently pressed his lips to hers for their first kiss in over ten years.


	20. Chapter 20

As wonderful as it felt to finally have Sam's lips pressed against his once again, Freddie's brain soon regained its normal function, alerting him to what exactly he was doing.

He quickly pulled away, cursing himself for allowing himself to give into his feeling so easily.

"I-I'm so sorry," Freddie said quickly, feeling his face reddening. "I-Shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry."

"Wait, Freddie-" Sam started.

"That was totally inappropriate, I-I don't know what came over me," Freddie continued. "You must think I'm a total jerk, and-"

"Freddie!" Sam said firmly, cutting him off. "I-I could never think you're a jerk. I think you're a total nub and a dork and a tech geek, yeah, but…not a jerk."

"Well…I'm still sorry," Freddie sighed. "I crossed a line-"

"Why do you keep saying you're sorry?" Sam asked softly.

Freddie frowned. "Because I kissed you," he said as if it was obvious.

"Yeah, I-I got that," Sam nodded. "But…why are you _sorry_ about it?"

"I just figured-I didn't think-You didn't want me to-"

Sam gave him a soft smile. "How do you know I didn't happen to _enjoy _that kiss just then?"

"Because I-Wait…you-you liked the kiss?" Freddie said slowly.

Sam looked down as she nodded.

"You-You didn't think it was too far or-or out of line or-"

"Freddie, if I had a problem with the kiss, I would've pulled away," Sam said softly. "Not kissed back."

Freddie was silent as he took a moment to try and process what Sam had just said.

_So she __**liked **__the kiss then? She wasn't weirded out by it? What-What does this mean? What do I do? _

"Well, um…still, I-I think that I-"

"Stop apologizing for the kiss," Sam said. "It wasn't a crime!"

"Yeah, but…it's just, I dunno, you-you just lost your husband ten months ago, and-and you probably don't want to get involved with anybody that way and I-"

"Freddie!" Sam said. "Stop. Look…you wanna know the-the real reason I asked you to come here?"

"What is it?"

"It's because I was _trying _to, well, ask you out on a date," Sam admitted. "But I chickened out at the last minute! So I asked you to come here instead."

"You-You were going to ask me out?" Freddie repeated, flabbergasted.

"Well I figured there was no way _you _were gonna make a move or anything," Sam said. She chuckled. "Though…I guess I was wrong about _that_."

"Wait, so you-you wanted to go out on a date?" Freddie said again. "But…why?"

"Oh because I was feeling a little bored and had nothing better to do," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "Why does anybody ask anybody on a date?"

"You mean, you-you _like_ me?" Freddie asked, feeling as though he was back in junior high right now.

"Well…sort of," Sam said, blushing. "I thought…I thought maybe I'd give it a try. But, um, if-if you don't feel the same way-"

"What? Sam, I-I _do _feel the same way," Freddie said quickly. "I just kissed you, remember. But, I-I didn't want to try anything before because, well, like I said, you just lost your husband."

"Freddie," Sam said gently. "At some point…people move on from these things. I-I don't want to live afraid to get on with my life."

"So…you really feel ready to start dating again?" Freddie asked, hardly daring to believe his luck.

Sam looked out into the flower field, where Roxy was still happily chasing butterflies.

"Yeah," Sam said. "I'm ready."

"I-Wow," Freddie said, smiling as he shook his head, still in shock. "Wow…so-so did we-did we-are we like, _dating _now? Does it work that way? I mean it's been awhile since I've done this…"

"Yeah, um, me too," Sam said, shifting uncomfortable. "Well, um…I guess…I guess to make it official I-I can _ask _you. You know, since I'm the one who got us together-"

"Wait, _you _got us together?" Freddie frowned. "Um, _who _just kissed who?"

"Well we wouldn't have been out here in the first place if I hadn't invited you!"

"Well we'd still be just talking and fishing if I hadn't kissed you!"

"Yeah but-Okay!" Sam finally said. "Look…why don't we just ask each other out at the same time and be done with it? We're just acting like immature idiots arguing about who gets to make this official."

"Yeah, you're right," Freddie nodded. "On one then?"

"Count it out, Benson," Sam smirked.

"Alright," Freddie said, clearing his throat. "In five, four, three, two-"

"Wanna go out with me?" Sam interrupted.

"What? Sam!" Freddie exclaimed. "You-You tricked me!"

"Yeah, I did," Sam said proudly. "You should've seen that coming. You must've been a real lousy spy. Besides…I thought you didn't say the one."

Freddie couldn't help but laugh.

_She really hasn't changed_, Freddie thought to himself. _Not one bit._

….

"So you guys _kissed_?" Kenna gasped later that evening when Sam stopped by the restaurant after her and Freddie left the gazebo. "Like…_kissed_?"

"Yeah," Sam said, still feeling dizzy from the sensation of it all.

"And now you guys are _dating?" _Kenna said. "Sam! I'm so proud of you!"

"Ow! You're suffocating me!" Sam said as Kenna threw her arms around her.

"I don't care!" Kenna said, though she let go of Sam. "So have you guys decided where you're gonna go on your first date?"

"No, we didn't get there yet," Sam shrugged.

"What? Oh come on, am I going to have to wait another two weeks for _that _now too?"

"We said we'd figure it out tomorrow," Sam said.

"Well…okay," Kenna nodded. "I'm still proud of you, Sam. This is a big step for you."

"I know," Sam said.

"And…you still feel okay with it, right?" Kenna asked gently.

"Yeah, actually, I-I feel really excited," Sam grinned, taking out her phone.

"Good," Kenna said. "You deserve to start having some fun again and-"

"Oh my God! No way!" Sam exclaimed, looking down at her phone screen.

"What? Is everything okay?" Kenna asked, concerned.

"I-Yeah!" Sam said. "I-I just got an email from my realtor! Kenna…someone bought my house!"

"You're kidding!"

"No, it says here that someone put in an offer for the place while I was out with Freddie today!" Sam said. "They didn't push for a lower price or anything!"

"So you can finally move!" Kenna said. "Sam, that-that's great!"

"I know," Sam said, beaming. "Wow…I guess today wound up being a pretty good day after all."

"Hey, we have some champagne in the back," Kenna said. "I'll go get some glasses…we should celebrate."

"Yeah, okay," Sam agreed.

As Kenna ran off into the office, Sam leaned against the counter, lost in her thoughts of all that happened.

She still couldn't believe Freddie had kissed her.

The shy, polite, timid Freddie Benson had actually made the first move for once in their lives.

It was strange, their last kiss had been over a decade ago, yet this kiss today didn't feel strange or new at all…it was as though her lips had actually remembered how Freddie's had always felt against hers and the spark they created within her.

When her and Freddie parted ways in Seattle, Sam had thought she'd never feel the same way with anyone as she did with him. She thought that until Freddie came back, and _if _he found her again, she'd never feel anything even remotely close to what Freddie made her feel.

But then she met Aiden, and she found that you really could fall in love again…even when you didn't think it was possible. He was there for in a way that she thought no one could ever be again.

And now, just as she when she was feeling as empty and alone as she did so long ago, Freddie had arrived to help her rise above those feelings.

Just as he had always been able to.


	21. Chapter 21

"So tell me what happened after you two kissed," Carly said excitedly as her and Freddie sat at his table the next morning, sharing a box of cereal.

"Well, we talked and she told me she felt she was ready to start dating," Freddie replied. "So after she used her _Sammish _ways to get the credit for officially getting us to go out, we decided that we'd go out for our first date this weekend."

"Oh! That's great!" Carly smiled. "So where are you going to take her?"

"I don't know yet," Freddie sighed. "I'm not exactly an expert on taking girls out. Do I stick with the usual dinner and a movie? Do I try and be fancy? Adventurous?"

"Well you _have _dated Sam before," Carly reminded him. "And she's not exactly a stranger. You know what she likes."

"Yeah, but this is different," Freddie sighed. "In high school we were both new at the whole dating thing, so obviously we had to start simple. But now she's been _married_. What sort of dates is she used to?"

"Well maybe you could ask Sam what she'd want to do," Carly suggested.

"But that's so lame," Freddie moaned. "What kind of guy can't even think up a first date idea on his own?"

"It's not lame to get ideas from her," Carly said. "Besides, I'm sure she'd like to have some say in where you take her. She's Sam, after all."

"Yeah…yeah I guess it couldn't hurt to go to Sam for some suggestions," Freddie agreed. "We did say we'd finalize everything today. Hey, I have an hour before I need to be at work. Wanna swing by the restaurant and ask her now?"

"Sure," Carly nodded. "Let's go."

….

When Carly and Freddie arrived at the restaurant, they looked around only to find Sam nowhere in sight.

"Sam's not here right now," Kenna said, coming over to Freddie, giving him a friendly smile and barely giving Carly anything but a cold glare.

"Oh," Freddie said. "Well, do you know when she'll be back? I, um, sort of wanted to talk to her about something."

"She'll probably be gone for at least another couple hours, she's doing some paperwork with her realtor; she sold her house!" Kenna told him.

"Whoa, no way!" Freddie grinned. "That's great! One of the families that looked at the place decided to go ahead and buy it?"

"No, she has no idea who bought it, actually," Kenna said. "But I don't think she cares too much."

"Well either way, she must be happy," Freddie said.

"Yeah," Carly echoed. "She-She must be."

"Well, if you're not in any rush, why don't you stay for some lemonade?" Kenna said.

"Sure, I have time for a quick drink before work," Freddie nodded, heading over to the bar. He looked over his shoulder as Carly reluctantly began to follow.

"So what did you want to talk to Sam about?" Kenna asked, grabbing a pitcher of lemonade and pouring a glass for Freddie. She looked over at Carly and pursed her lips. "Do you want any?"

"Oh, um, yes please," Carly said.

"I just wanted to, um, talk to her about…things," Freddie said.

"Uh-huh," Kenna nodded. "And would these _things_ happen to involve you kissing her yesterday and you two going out on a date this weekend?"

"I'm guessing Sam told you everything then?" Freddie chuckled.

"Duh! Of course she did!" Kenna grinned. "I think this is great; I'm so happy for you guys."

"Thanks," Freddie said, sipping his lemonade. "Hey…Kenna, maybe you can help me. See, I came here to see if I could figure out what Sam would like to do on our first date. You have any ideas?"

"Hmm," Kenna said thoughtfully. "You'll need to have food…."

"Well that was a given," Freddie nodded.

"Hey, why don't you look and see if there's any cool events or something happening around here this weekend?" Carly suggested. "That might be nice."

"Hey, good thinking, Carls," Freddie said, pulling out his phone. "Let's see…there's a wine tasting at some museum."

"Sam doesn't like most wines," Kenna told him.

"Eh, that's fine, I'm not that big a fan myself," Freddie shrugged. "Oh, there's an art festival a few blocks from here. Think that'd be something she'd like?"

"Maybe," Kenna said. "Though she tends to get bored if she can't find pictures of zombies or something."

"What about a marionette show?"

"Um, those are creepy, don't you think?" Carly frowned.

" I guess," Freddie nodded.

"Yeah, Sam hates puppets," Kenna agreed. "We had a guy in the apartment across from us in New York who collected the things and it was the worst experience of our lives."

"Hey! Hey this is perfect!" Freddie said, looking at his screen. "Sam will love this; there's some bit MMA expo coming here this weekend!"

"Whoa! That's exactly what Sam would want to do!" Carly exclaimed. "She'd love it!"

Kenna frowned. "No…You-You can't take her there."

"Why not?" Freddie asked. "You can't be telling me Sam Puckett isn't still a huge MMA fan."

"She is," Kenna said. "But…so was Aiden. Going to these fights was sort of _their _thing. They went every year. Sam might be getting back into the dating scene, but there's no way she'd be alright going there…especially on a first date."

"Oh," Freddie said softly. "Yeah…that's probably not a good idea then."

"Sam's actually been dying to go to the boardwalk on the beach," Kenna said. "It's about an hour from here…why don't you take her there? There's a great crab restaurant, and you guys can walk around and talk or play some games or whatever."

"Hmm…yeah, I think that could work," Freddie said thoughtfully. "The boardwalk with Sam…sounds like a perfect first date."

…

Sam barely paid any attention to what she was putting where as she grabbed plates and cups from her cabinets and tossed them into the cardboard boxes she had picked up from the junkyard on her way back from the realtor.

She was in such a good mood; it seemed finally things were going her way.

Her meeting with her realtor had gone exceptionally well. She had told Sam that in addition to buying her home, whoever this buyer was had no rush to move in, so Sam didn't have to run around trying to pack up everything in only a few days. After the meeting, Sam had gone right over to the new, smaller house she had been eyeing and praying no one else bought for so long and put in her offer, only to have it accepted and approved at once. She could move in whenever she pleased.

As much as she was going to miss this place, she knew she needed to leave. She still felt haunted every time she walked past the living room, and she hoped maybe in a new environment, Roxy would begin to move past that night too.

Sam let out a sad sigh as she thought back to how she had instantly fallen in love with this place the first time her and Aiden had looked at it.

This was supposed to be their dream home; they planned on staying here until their kids grew and they packed up to move to some sunny retirement home down south.

….

"_This one has four bedrooms and two bathrooms," Aiden said as him and Sam stepped through the door of the empty town house. "Pretty spacious."_

"_You grew up in a home with twenty bedrooms and fifteen bathrooms," Sam smirked, rolling her eyes. "This place is probably the size of one of your closets."_

"_I hated having all that space with only four people living there," Aiden shrugged. "It always felt so empty. You never knew where anybody was and it was just…eerie. Here you can always know someone's around."_

"_This kitchen's nice," Sam commented, looking around. "Whoa! Do you see the size of that stove? The stove comes with the place…right?"_

"_Yes, you'll have a nice stove for all your ham needs," Aiden chuckled. "Hey, do you wanna maybe sit for awhile?"_

"_Nah, I want to see if this place has any room to get that pool table I've been eyeing," Sam said. "Hey! Look, there's a porch out through that sliding glass door."_

"_Sam, are you sure?" Aiden asked, following Sam through the living room. "You're only two weeks away from your due date. Don't you need some rest?"_

"_Hon, I'm __**fine**__," Sam assured him, looking out the window. "Wow…We could bring our grill out here and roast marshmallows some nights. I bet little Roxanne would like that."  
Sam felt a patter of tiny kicks coming from inside of her, and she laughed as she rested her hands on her abdomen. "Jeez, Roxy has been moving like crazy since we got in here."_

"_Think that means she likes it?"_

"_Maybe, or it might be all those churros I ate before we came," Sam said. _

"_Well let's go check out the bedrooms," Aiden said, taking his wife's hand. _

"_Yeah, let's see if we can actually find ourselves a room that can actually __**fit **__our furniture," Sam said. "Because our tiny room back at the apartment is getting really cramped and-"_

_She suddenly stopped talking and froze in her steps._

"_What's wrong?" Aiden frowned. "You okay?"_

"_I-We need to go," Sam said, gripping the edge of the counter for support. _

"_What? Why? What's-"_

"_My water just broke," Sam said, a small smile managing to creep onto her face despite the pain that was now beginning to ripple through her. "Roxy's on her way."_

….

Sam remembered after Roxy had been delivered, Aiden had gone back to this house and made the purchase. Him and Sam decided that Sam going into labor there was a sign that Roxy had loved the place and couldn't wait to move in herself.

It was going to be weird leaving, but Sam was glad she was.

There was a knock at the door, and Sam put down the glasses she had been holding.

"Roxy, here, can you wrap these in newspaper for me while I go get the door?" Sam said, looking over at the table where Roxy was sitting.

Roxy nodded and took the glass. Sam had told her that they were moving that morning, but she didn't think Roxy fully got the fact that soon they would be leaving this place and never coming back.

When Sam looked through the peephole her face lit up as she saw the other reason she was in such a good mood standing on her front step.

"Hey!" Sam grinned, opening up the door and letting Freddie in. "Guess what? Someone bought my house!"

"I heard," Freddie chuckled. "Congratulations. Although I'll miss you living across the street."

"I told you, the new place is only a couple blocks from here," Sam said. "You'll just have to walk a little further to see me."

"I think I can manage that," Freddie chuckled.

Sam and Freddie stood there for a moment, both unsure of what to do.

Did they kiss each other again? Exchange a friendly hug? What exactly was the protocol here?

Sam wanted to give him another kiss. Ever since yesterday, it was as though all she had been craving was his lips against hers again.

But Roxy was right there…

Sam hadn't brought up her and Freddie now dating to her daughter. She didn't even know how much the four-year old would understand, but Sam knew it would be strange for her to see her with another guy besides her father. Sam didn't want to just thrust this new information Roxy's face without first getting a chance to talk to her.

Freddie seemed to understand, and he gave Sam a small smile before heading over to the table with Roxy.

"Hey, you helping your mom pack, huh?" he said to the child.

"Yeah, I figured I could put her to work," Sam said.

"Why don't I help you guys out too?" Freddie suggested.

"Okay," Sam agreed, glad to have an excuse to keep him around longer. "Help me finish cleaning out these cabinets."

"Hey," Freddie whispered in Sam's ear as he took out a large casserole dish. "I was thinking…this Saturday…how does the boardwalk sound?"

"The boardwalk…" Sam repeated softly. "That sounds, well, _perfect_."

"Good," Freddie beamed. "Then it's a date."

Sam looked over her shoulder and saw Roxy was looking the other direction, playing with Liam in his playpen.

She quickly craned her neck and brought her lips up to Freddie's. "Yes…yes it is."


	22. Chapter 22

**AN-Hey guys, sorry for no updates the last couple of days. I've actually been on vacation this past week so I haven't been at my computer too often. But daily updates are now back! Thanks for reading and supporting, everybody!**

…**.**

"No...not that. Nope. Ugh! Why did I buy _this_?"

Sam let out a frustrated groan as she stared at her closet, going through everything she owned. She couldn't find anything to wear for her date with Freddie that night, and he was going to be by to pick her up in an hour.

"Okay, Roxy, you're gonna help me out," Sam said, grabbing a few outfits and laying them down on the bed where her daughter was sitting with Liam. "Which one of mommy's outfits do you like the best?"

Roxy looked up at Sam with a confused expression. If there was one thing Roxy had gotten for Sam, it was her distaste for most 'girly' activities. Roxy never gave any mind to any sort of clothing and had always been perfectly content wearing any old t-shirt with a pair of jeans.

Sam chuckled. "Yeah, I know it's stupid, but you'll understand one day. Hmm, maybe I could wear this shirt and those new jeans I found at the mall last month…or do I wear a dress?"

Just then she heard a knock at the door.

"Alright, well that's probably Aunt Kenna," Sam said, scooping Liam up in her arms to go answer.

Roxy followed her out of the bedroom as Sam let Kenna inside.

"Hey," Sam said. "Thanks for watching them."

"Please, you know I love spending time with them," Kenna grinned as she lifted Roxy up. "The three of us are gonna have a blast tonight. I have brownie mix and enough _Peter the Magic Parrot _DVDs to drive me crazy."

"Good," Sam said. "Now come back here, I need help figuring out what to wear for my…outing."

Sam still hadn't mentioned her date to Roxy. She figured she'd talk to Roxy after tonight, once she saw how things went.

"Aren't you leaving in an hour?" Kenna frowned, following Sam to the bedroom.

"Yes! Now do I wear this red shirt with those jeans or this blue dress or this black jacket thing or-or-just help me! What do I even wear to the boardwalk?"

"I dunno, um…jeans? No, um…well, it's an 'outing' so maybe the dress?" Kenna said thoughtfully. "But that might be a little much…then again you don't want to look underdressed either."

Suddenly they heard another knock at the door.

"What? That can't be him already!" Sam exclaimed. "I'm not even dressed!"

"Relax, I'll go stall him," Kenna said. "I'll try and snap a pic of what he's wearing or something and send it to you so you can go off of that."

"Right, thanks," Sam sighed.

As Kenna hurried out of the room, Sam turned back to her closet. "I knew I should've gone to the mall to try and find something…why didn't I listen to myself and-"

"False alarm, it wasn't Freddie," Kenna said, coming back into the room followed by none other than Carly.

"Hey," Carly smiled. "I just thought I'd come over and see if you needed any help getting ready for your-"

"Outing," Sam finished quickly glancing over at Roxy and hoping Carly got the message.

"Oh, um, right," Carly nodded slowly. "Your _outing_."

"Well wasn't that _thoughtful_," Kenna mumbled under her breath so only Sam could hear her.

Sam flashed Kenna a look that said 'be nice' before looking back over at Carly. "Actually…I do sort of need you. I don't know what to wear! Is Freddie dressed already? Is he fancy or causal or fancy _and _casual or _what_?"

Carly smiled as she stepped over to Sam's closet.

"Here," she said, handing Sam a nice blouse and a pair of jeans. "This will work."

"I won't be underdressed?" Sam asked reluctantly.

"No, I've seen what Freddie's wearing; you'll be fine," Carly assured he. "He assumed that you still didn't exactly _love _getting all dolled up."

"Well the nub assumed right," Sam chuckled.

…..

About an hour later, Sam was finally all dressed and ready to go.

"I've still got it," Sam smirked, looking at her reflection in the mirror.

She heard a knock at the door for the third time that evening, and she felt her heart skip a beat.

She knew who it had to be this time…

Sam hurried to the door and opened it up and let Freddie in.

He was wearing the biggest smile Sam could imagine and he was holding a bouquet of roses.

"Hi," he said softly. "You look…beautiful."

Sam felt her cheeks blushing madly. "Thanks. You clean up nicely too. You ready to go?"

"Yeah, I'm ready," Freddie nodded. He handed her the flowers. "I, um, bought these for you. I remember you said ages ago that these were your favorite."

"They still are," Sam grinned. "Shoot, I think I packed all of my vases…Oh wait, there's one in my bedroom. Hold on a sec!"

"Okay," Freddie said as Sam ran back to her room.

He stepped into the kitchen where Kenna was sitting with Roxy and Liam.

"Hey," Kenna greeted him. "You ready?"

"I think so," Freddie said somewhat nervously as Roxy ran over to hug him. "Hi, Roxy. Hi, Liam. You guys gonna have fun tonight?"

"Oh you bet," Kenna said. "I'm gonna pile enough junk food in them that they'll be bouncing off the walls."

"You know…I'm starting to see why you and Sam have been such good friends all these years," Freddie said as Sam came back out with the flowers neatly arranged in a vase.

"Alright, here we go," Sam said, setting the flowers down on the table. She turned to Roxy and kneeled down in front of her. "Behave for Aunt Kenna, okay? I'll be back soon; I'm just gonna go spend some time with Freddie now."

Roxy nodded, hugging her mother tightly.

Freddie smiled at the scene, realizing just how close the two were.

"You behave too, okay Liam?" Sam said, rustling Liam's hair as she stood up.

"Ba!" Lima cooed happily.

"They'll be fine, you two get out of here," Kenna said.

"Yeah, okay," Sam said. "Oh, Liam has some bottles in the fridge. Oh, and I just washed his special blanket, so if he gets fussy, it's in the laundry room. And give Roxy some of that pre-cold stuff before she goes to bed because she's been coughing lately and-"

"Go!" Kenna said firmly. "Before I push you and Freddie out the door myself!"

"I think that's our cue to leave," Freddie said. "Come on, I'm parked down by your mailbox."

Once Sam and Freddie left the house and closed the door behind him, he gently took her hand.

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"Nothing," Freddie replied. "I've just been looking forward to doing _this _all day."

He leaned down and kissed her.

"Wow, still mushy as ever, huh?" Sam smirked.

"Well old habits die hard," Freddie chuckled. Then, in a more serious voice, he added, "So is Roxy okay with this? I mean us…_dating_."

"I still haven't exactly sat down and talked to her yet," Sam admitted. "But she's four, after all. How much can she really understand about dating?"

"Still, it has to be strange to see you with someone other than, well, her dad," Freddie pointed out.

"I know," Sam said heavily. "And I'm going to talk to her tonight after I get home. I-I think she'll be okay. She likes you a lot, after all."

"I just don't want to make her uncomfortable," Freddie said.

"I know, and I-I appreciate that. A lot," Sam nodded. She squeezed his hand and looked up at him. "But let's not worry about that now. We're on this date. Let's make the most of it."

…

"I read online that this place is supposed to have the best crab balls," Freddie said as him and Sam sat at a small table along the beach, enjoying the view of the setting sun.

"Good, because I'm starved," Sam said. "I haven't had seafood in forever. Usually I just get whatever we have leftover at the restaurant."

"Your crab balls," their waiter said, setting a large platter down on the table. "Enjoy."

"Hey," Freddie said as Sam made to pop one into her mouth. "How about we play a little game?"

"Little game?" Sam repeated.

"Yeah," Freddie nodded. "See, I know we've been hanging out a lot these last few weeks, but I still don't think that makes up for all the time we've missed during the past ten years. I guess you can say we're relatively caught up, but I bet there's still a lot that's changed about both of us. So what do you say we take turns telling each other something about us that we used to do in high school, and the other has to guess if they still do it. If they get it right, they get a crab ball."

"Okay," Sam smiled. "I go first. You remember in high school how I used to eat two Fat Cakes before I went to bed every night? And I'd dip the second one in chocolate sauce to increase the flavor explosion? You think I still do that?"

"Absolutely not," Freddie said at once. "There's no way someone who's almost _thirty_, even someone with a stomach like you, can still keep that sugar pile down."

"First of all," Sam said. " I am twenty-_eight_. Until I am _exactly _thirty, never call me 'almost thirty'. Second…you're kind of right. Ever since I had Roxy, my steel stomach sort of dwindled. I can only manage one Fat Cake a day now or I'll puke. And I have to skip the chocolate sauce."

"So I was right," Freddie said triumphantly, taking a crab ball. "Alright, now my turn. Remember my Spanish outbursts back when we were kids?"

"Oh yeah!" Sam laughed. "Wait…there's no way you gave that up. I say you still do that."

"Well you are _wrong_," Freddie smirked.

"Huh? Why'd you stop?" Sam asked.

"Well right before I went overseas to Greenland, I had to undergo a _complete_ physical," Freddie said. "And during this brain scan they made me do, they found that chip my mom had implanted into my brain. They removed it and they told me that they think _that _was what was causing my little Spanish blurts."

"No way!" Sam grinned. "You had to have a _brain scan_? There's no way you weren't a spy. And I'm still taking a crab ball, by the way. No one's keeping _Mama _from her food."

"You still call yourself that, huh?" Freddie said.

"It's a title I've officially _earned _now, so why not?" Sam shrugged. "Alright, my turn again. I have a tough one for you…"

So Sam and Freddie continued to play their new game all throughout dinner and desert. It was amazing, really, Sam thought. Freddie had changed so much these last ten years. He no longer had random Spanish episodes, he didn't obsess over online games like _War of Warlords _anymore, he now preferred chocolate pudding cups to vanilla, he had actually became a fan of _America Sings _from watching old reruns online, and he was now terrified of any sort of rodents because of some incident that had happened in his old apartment in Greenland.

Yet he was still the same in so many more ways. He was still a huge fencing fan, he still despised all boy bands, blue was still his favorite color and he could still give out pointless trivia about the Pear company at the drop of a hat.

And he still knew how to show her a good time, just as he had done so many years before.

After they ate, they spent the rest of the evening walking around the boardwalk, perusing the shops, watching the waves of the ocean and sneaking quick kisses.

It was one of the most magical nights Sam had had in some quite some time.

And while it did seem weird to suddenly be holding hands with someone other than Aiden, it still felt…natural.

By the time Freddie walked Sam back up to her front door several hours later, she was still beaming.

"So, um, thanks," Sam said as she pulled her key out from her pocket. "I had a lot of fun tonight…you-you still really know how to treat a chick."

"It's easy when that 'chick' is someone as amazing as you," Freddie chuckled. "I-I'm glad you had a good time tonight, Sam. I did too. Maybe…maybe we could do this again next weekend?"

"Yeah, I'd like that," Sam nodded. "A lot."

"Good," Freddie grinned. He stepped closer to her. "I-I guess I should be going. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You bet," Sam nodded. She looked up at him. "Well…good night then…nub."

"Night, _demon_," Freddie said.

The two stared at each other and then laughed before slowly moving towards each other, kissing the other passionately.

When they finally pulled away, Freddie gave her one last smile before waving as he headed down the front steps and off across the street.

Sam watched him retreat into his apartment, lost in the wonderful feeling that had taken over her.

As she slowly turned around though, she saw the small face of her daughter staring out at the front porch from the window.

_Aw man…she saw the kiss! _Sam thought anxiously as she quickly let herself back into the home.

"Hey, Roxy," Sam said. "Um, honey, I-"

"Hey, how was it?" Kenna asked, rushing over with a sleeping Liam in her arms.

"Um…nice," Sam said. "Hey, I promise I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, but right now, I-I need to deal with something."

She glanced over at Roxy, who was staring down at her lap.

Kenna, getting the message, nodded, and passed Liam to Sam. "Alright, I'll see you at the restaurant then. Text me if you need anything."

"Yeah…thanks," Sam said.

She waited until Kenna has left, and then sat down next to her daughter. "Alright, kiddo," she sighed. "I guess…I guess I have a few things to talk to you about."

Roxy looked up and gave a few hand signals.

"Why did I kiss Freddie?" Sam deciphered. "Well…honey, I kissed Freddie because-because tonight, him and I went out on a date. Do you know what a date is?"

Roxy gave a few more signs.

_You and daddy went on them_, Sam translated.

"Yes, daddy and I _did _go on them," Sam nodded. "See, when you get older, you go on dates with people that you really like. I-I really like Freddie, and he likes me. That's why we went on a date. And when you go on dates, sometimes you wind up kissing."

Roxy nodded.

"I know it's probably a little weird to see me kissing someone who's not your daddy," Sam continued. "But-But you know that daddy…he's not coming back. I miss him a lot, but…it's time for us to _both _start trying to move on."

Roxy nodded again.

"But if you really aren't okay having Freddie and me _dating _like this, and it makes you uncomfortable, I-I won't do it anymore," Sam said. "I don't want to do anything to hurt you. So, Roxy…_are _you okay seeing me and Freddie date?"

Roxy slowly signed '_yes_', and Sam breathed a sigh of relief.

_I like Freddie, he's nice_, Roxy signed again.

"Yes, he's very nice," Sam smiled. "Now you sure you don't have any questions or anything? Anything you want to talk about?"

Roxy shook her head.

_Well that went better than I thought_, Sam said to herself. _See, this date was good for __**everybody**__. I got to go out with Freddie and Roxy's really showing some maturity._

"Okay, well it's late," Sam said. "Let's get you to bed. If that's even _possible _after all the sugar Aunt Kenna probably let you eat."


	23. Chapter 23

"Roxy really has shown great improvement these last couple of weeks," Roxy's therapist told Sam as the two women stood in her office. "She's less reserved, she seems more active and she has more energy."

"Yeah, I know," Sam said, smiling as her daughter played with a dollhouse in the corner. Then she lowered her voice. "But if she's getting better, then…why is she still not talking?"

"Sam, we've been over this," the therapist said gently. "Roxy will let us know when she's ready to talk."

"But when will that be?" Sam hissed. "Look, I've done _everything_. I've taken her here, I answered any questions she had about Aiden's death, we're moving into a new home…what more is there? What else is she waiting for?"

"Sam, you have to be-"

"I don't want to be patient anymore!" Sam said quietly. "I _want _my daughter back. My daughter who used to make up songs during car rides and would try and read along with her storybooks and could just _talk _for hours!"

"Sam, listen," the therapist said, leading Sam further away from Roxy. "I've told you, Roxy _is _taking longer than usual to start speaking. Normally after a traumatic experience that renders a child temporarily mute, the child regains speech within a few months."  
"Well it has been almost a _year _now," Sam said.

"Yes," the therapist nodded. "Which is why…maybe you need to start accepting the fact that Roxy's muteness may not be temporary."

Sam's eyes widened. "You-You mean she may _never _talk again?"

"It's possible," the therapist said heavily. "There have been some extreme cases like that."

"But-But…you told me when I brought her here you'd make her talk again!" Sam snapped.

"I told you I would do what I can," the therapist corrected. "Sam, you can't _force _a child to talk."

"But she _can_!" Sam said desperately. "She's physically able to talk! All she needs is-"

"Roxy needs your support," the therapist said. "I know you've been doing nothing but that, but if Roxy winds up never speaking again…you need to learn to live with that."

Sam said nothing.  
"She can still live a perfectly normal life," the therapist continued. "It really won't set her back at all and-"

"She's going to talk again," Sam said firmly. "And if _you _won't help her, then…I'll find someone else. Or I'll do this myself."

She turned and walked over to her daughter. "Roxy, let's go sweetie," she said. "We're out of here."

…..

Later that afternoon as Sam cleared tables at the restaurant, her head was still spinning from Roxy's therapy session.

_That therapist didn't know what she was talking about_, Sam thought bitterly. _Roxy __**will **__talk again. She's been improving a lot lately…ever since Freddie came around. That just __**proves **__if I can keep doing this whole 'move-on' thing, she'll speak eventually. _

Just then the restaurant door opened and none other than Freddie himself walked in, followed by Carly.

"Hey!" Freddie said brightly coming over to Sam.

"Hey!" Sam said, pulling a smile onto her face as she gave him a quick kiss.

It amazed her that as bad as she had been feeling, Freddie could still manage to make her feel a thousand times better just with his lips. She turned to Carly. "Hi, Carly."

"Hey," Carly replied. "I hear you and Freddie had a nice time this weekend."

"Yeah, I mean you can't really go wrong with crab balls," Sam chuckled.

"No, I guess not," Carly agreed. "Anyway, Freddie was telling me you needed some more boxes for packing. I have some in Freddie's car. You want them? I picked them up from a clothing store I stopped at yesterday."

"Oh yeah, that'd be awesome," Sam nodded.

"Great, I'll go get them," Carly said. She turned and headed back out of the restaurant.

"So, where is everybody?" Freddie asked once they were alone.

"Liam's asleep in the office, and Kenna and Garry took Roxy out for ice cream," Sam replied. "Hey, so, um, I talked to Roxy the other night…about the two of us dating. She-She seems fine with it. She says she likes you."

"Wait, really?" Freddie grinned.

"Uh-huh," Sam nodded. "I told you, you've really grown on her."

"Well Sam, that's-I'm so glad to hear that," Freddie said. "If we're going to be dating now, it's important for your kids to like me."

"Yeah, well, you never had a problem with Liam," Sam chuckled. "As long as you have hair for him to pull, he'll love you."

"Aw, well then I guess we're good then," Freddie laughed, running his fingers through his hair.

"Yes you are," Sam smiled, stepping closer to him. "Anyway, since we seemed to have such a good time this weekend, I was thinking that maybe _this _Saturday you could come over to my place for dinner. I could get Kenna and Garry to watch the kids for me so we'd have the place to ourselves."

"Hmm, sounds _quite_ fun," Freddie said. "Count me in."

"Good," Sam said. "Then I'll see you then."

"Well I mean I'm sure you'll see me before then too, you know," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.

"You know what I meant," Sam said.

"Yeah, yeah," Freddie said. "Anyway, how has your day been so far? Hey, didn't you take Roxy to her therapy session today?"

Sam looked down at the table. "Yeah…yeah, I did."

"Well how was it?" Freddie asked. "You told me she's been improving lately. Did her therapist think so?"

"Yup, she said she was improving alright," Sam mumbled.

Freddie frowned. "Everything okay?"

"I-Yeah," Sam said quickly.

Freddie gave her a knowing look.

"Alright, no," Sam sighed. "Her-Her therapist told me Roxy's muteness might be permanent, since-Since it's lasting so long. She said I might have to accept that fact that I-I may never get to hear her speak again and-"

Suddenly, not knowing what came over her, Sam felt tears streaming down her face and Freddie wasted no time in wrapping his arms around her.

"Sorry," Sam said shakily. "I just-"

"You don't have to apologize," Freddie said at once. "You have a right to be upset about this."

"I know," Sam said softly. She grabbed a napkin and wiped her eyes. "But-But she's wrong. Roxy's going to talk again."

"Of course she is," Freddie said supportively.

"I was doing a little bit of research before you came in, and I found a new therapist who specializes in this," Sam continued. "Her office is about an hour away, but I can probably still manage to take her there at least once or twice a week. And if I keep encouraging Roxy, maybe that will work too."

"Maybe," Freddie agreed.

"I'm going to get her to talk again, Freddie," Sam said strongly. "I'm going to do it."


	24. Chapter 24

"Alright, I have the noodles, the cheeses, the tomato sauce…hopefully this lasagna will taste at least a little like that kind Freddie and I used to get at Pini's," Sam said to herself as she laid her ingredients out on the counter. "Roxy, pass me that bowl there, will you? I need to start the sauce."

Roxy handed Sam the large bowl on the table and then tugged on her mother's shirt to get her attention.

"What is it, sweetie?" Sam asked as she began to prepare her special sauce.

Roxy gave a few signs. _I have to go to the bathroom._

"Okay, well you can go ahead and go, you know where it is," Sam said. Last night she realized that one of the things that might be holding Roxy back from talking was her allowing Roxy to keep being afraid to do things on her own. Maybe she needed to start putting her foot down about Roxy sleeping in her own bed and using the bathroom without her standing outside the door.

Roxy looked up at Sam and firmly shook her head.

"Roxy," Sam said, trying to stay strong. "You're a big girl. You can use the bathroom on your own. Nothing's going to hurt you in there."

Roxy shook her head again, this time more furiously.

"Roxanne," Sam said. "Come on, you need to stop with this. You're almost five years old."

But Roxy continued to shake her head, and Sam could tell her breathing was growing quicker.

The last thing Sam needed an hour before Freddie was set to come over for their date was for her daughter to have a panic, attack.

"Okay, okay, I'll stand outside the door," Sam conceded, picking up Liam from his high chair. "But this is the last time, okay? Starting tomorrow, you're going to have to start going on your own."

She followed Roxy out of the kitchen and leaned against the hall wall as Roxy hurried into the bathroom.

_Okay, you have to stop giving in, _Sam told herself firmly. _You have to push her to get back to how she was. Otherwise she'll never talk._

Just then she heard a knock at the door.

"Roxy, hurry up in there, Uncle Garry's here to take you back to his and Aunt Kenna's place!" Sam called.

A moment later Roxy came out of the bathroom and followed Sam to the front door where she let Garry in.

"Hey," he said. "Everybody ready to go?"

"Yeah, they're ready," Sam nodded, kissing the top of Liam's head as she passed him her son.

"When's Freddie coming over?"

"In an hour, and I still have to cook and get dressed," Sam said, helping Roxy pull on her jacket.

"Well good luck," Garry said. "You want Kenna or I to drive them back here when your date's done or should they just spend the night?"

"I guess it depends how late Freddie winds up staying, but I'll probably swing by and get them tonight," Sam replied. She gave Roxy a quick hug. "Now you have fun with Aunt Kenna and Uncle Garry."

"She will; we're going out for pizza and then to the movies," Garry grinned, taking the girl's hand.

"Oh, that sounds cool," Sam said, kissing the top of her daughter's head. "I'll see you later. Love you honey."

Roxy kissed her mother back before heading to Garry's car. Sam waited until they had pulled out of the driveway before quickly returning inside.

"Alright…I have one hour to jazz up this place," Sam said, going back to her lasagna. "Let's do this."

….

Exactly one hour later, the lasagna was in the oven, cooking to perfection. Sam, who was now wearing a stunning black dress with her hair up in a fancy up-do, grabbed a box of matches and lit two candles she had managed to found.

"Alright…looks good," Sam said to herself, looking around. She caught a glace of herself in the mirror and took a moment to stare at her reflection. She hadn't been this dressed up in months; she normally dawned jeans everyday. The last time she could remember wearing a dress was the last time she went out with Aiden.

Sam let out a soft sigh as she thought back to that night. It was only two weeks before he had died; him and Sam had decided to go up to New York to see a Broadway play, something they both had been dying to do for ages. Sam remembered spending almost half-an-hour trying to fit into her favorite dress, despite being almost six-months pregnant with Liam at the time.

It really had been a magical night…they got dinner at a fancy restaurant before, and after the play they tried out a new pie shop, which they both had deemed 'the best thing in the whole world'. They had even checked themselves into a small hotel to take advantage of finally being able to have some 'alone time'.

Sam quickly shook her head, snapping out of her daze.

_Don't think about that; you're about to have dinner with Freddie_, she told herself.

Right on cue, Sam heard a knock at the door.

Sam grinned as she rushed to let Freddie in.

"Hey, something smells really-whoa!" Freddie said, losing his words as he caught sight of Sam's dress. "Whoa, you-you-"

"Like it?" Sam chuckled as Freddie stepped inside.

"Uh-huh," Freddie nodded weakly, clearly not yet recovered.

"You might want to wipe the drool from your chin," Sam smirked.

"Huh? Oh, sorry."

"Dinner's going to be ready in a few minutes," Sam said. "I made lasagna."

"My favorite," Freddie smiled.

"I know," Sam nodded, stepping closer, giving Freddie a kiss. He wasted no time in reciprocating, gently placing his hands on her waist as he deepened the kiss.

"Well," Sam said when they pulled away. "I guess we know how we can keep ourselves busy until the lasagna's ready."

"I think I like where you're going with this," Freddie chuckled, giving her another quick kiss. "Wanna move this to the couch?"

Sam suddenly felt her stomach flip as Freddie innocently started into the living room and sat down on the couch.

Sam hadn't stepped foot into that room since Aiden had been killed there. Freddie didn't know that underneath that thick rug, there was still a huge bloodstain from when Aiden had been shot…

"Sam? You okay?" Freddie asked, concerned.

"Um…yeah, I-I was just thinking if I set a timer for the stove," Sam said lamely. "And, um, I-I did."

_Just go into the dang living room, _Sam willed herself. _You can do it. How can you expect Roxy to start doing things on her own again when you can't even go into the biggest room in your house anymore?_

So taking a deep breath, Sam slowly stepped into the living room. It felt almost foreign to her, and as she sat down on the couch next to Freddie, Sam couldn't shake the strange feeling that had overcome her.

"You sure you're okay?" Freddie frowned.

"Yeah, just hungry," Sam said quickly, moving closer to Freddie and pulling a smile onto her face as she kissed him once more. "Now, where were we?"

….

"That was _amazing_," Freddie said as he finished the last of his lasagna later that evening.

"Well I _did _go to culinary school," Sam grinned as she took another piece of bread. "And I cook for a living."

"Still, I think that was better than Pini's ever was," Freddie said.

"Nah, Pini's still has the best lasagna around," Sam said. "Even though it's been over ten years since I had any. I really wish there was one out here."

"Well I still prefer yours," Freddie said.

"You're just saying that," Sam laughed.

"No, I'm serious, you should start putting lasagna on your menu back at the restaurant," Freddie said.

"That would kind of kill the barbecue vive I've got going."

"Eh, maybe," Freddie chuckled. He looked down at his empty plate. "Hey, um, Sam? I-I know this is only our second date, but, well…I got you something."

"What? Why?" Sam frowned as Freddie reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box and handed it to her.

"Well…because I really wanted to," Freddie said. "I was at the mall yesterday and I passed this store window and I thought…I these would be perfect for you."

Sam gave him a curious look as she slowly opened up the box.

"Oh my God!" she gasped, looking down at the sapphire earrings that were staring up at her. "Freddie…they're-they're beautiful."

"They reminded me of your eyes," Freddie said as Sam continued to look down at them.

"I-Thank you," Sam said softly. "But I feel bad…I didn't get you anything."

"I don't care," Freddie said at once. "Besides, you made dinner for me. And, well, like I said, I _wanted _to get you those earrings. I mean, I realize we've only been together a short amount of time, but-but I love you. I never stopped. I loved you every single day out of those ten years we missed from each others lives."  
Sam could hardly breathe. Nobody had said those three words to her in quite sometime. As the words sank in, she couldn't help but think back to the first time Aiden had told her that exact same thing, making her feel jittery and excited, just like she was feeling now…

….

"_So you really think Hillary Duff could take Jennifer Aniston in a fist fight?" Aiden laughed as him and Sam sat on the small sofa in his studio apartment. _

"_Yup," Sam said, popping a grape into her mouth, leaning against Aiden's warm body. "Duff is tough. Alright, my turn…who would win in a spelling bee? Queen Latifia or Beyoncé?"_

"_Beyoncé," Aiden said at once. "She wins everything."_

"_Fine, then I have another one for you."_

"_Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Aiden said. "You don't get to go twice in a row!"_

"_Watch me," Sam smirked, leaning up and kissing the tip of his nose. "Now who would win in a footrace? The abominable snowman with a cast on one leg, or Bigfoot with head cold?"_

"_Why does the abdominal snowman have a cast on his leg?"_

"_I dunno, he fell in the snow," Sam shrugged. _

"_No way, he's the __**abominable snowman**__," Aiden pointed out. "The snow's his turf! He wouldn't just fall and hurt himself in it like some klutz!"_

"_Fine, he broke it by dropping a boulder on it!"_

"_Now why would he drop a boulder on his foot? I mean __**really**__?  
"Are you going to sit here and criticize my analogies or will you answer the question already?" Sam asked, rolling her eyes, though a smile crept onto her face. _

"_Okay, okay," Aiden said. "I say…Bigfoot with a head cold. He may be dizzy and sneezy, but you have to hand it to the guy, he seems like he can move quick. I mean no one has ever spotted him.  
"No one's ever spotted the abominable snowman either," Sam pointed out._

"_True, but there have been less fake sightings of Bigfoot," Aiden said. _

"_Ah, good point," Sam nodded._

"_Whoa, you realize it's already two in the morning?" Aiden said, looking at his phone. _

"_What? No way! I have to be at the restaurant at six tomorrow!" Sam said, quickly scrambling to her feet. "We're finally laying down some carpet in the back office area."_

"_Yeah, and I have a contracting appointment early too," Aiden yawned. "I can't believe we sat here for over six hours playing that stupid game."_

"_I know; I've never met anyone who could go at it with me for so long," Sam chuckled as Aiden walked her to his front door. "When I try to play this game with Kenna and Garry, they give up after one round."_

"_Well maybe you can come over again tomorrow night and we can play some more," Aiden suggested. "I have some real doozies to throw at you."_

"_Yeah, you bet," Sam nodded. "Can't wait."_

_She craned her neck as Aiden leaned down to kiss her, wrapping his strong arms around her tightly. _

_When their lips parted, they still stood together, neither wanting to let go. _

"_I love you," Aiden said softly, kissing the top of Sam's head.  
Sam's eyes widened as she stared up at him. "W-What?"_

"_I love you," Aiden repeated._

_Sam could feel her heart beating out of her chest. "You-You really do?"_

"_I've never felt this way about anyone," Aiden smiled. _

_Sam blushed, looking up into his green eyes. "I love you too, Aiden. I love you so much…"_

…_._

"I-Look, I'm sorry," Freddie said quickly. "That was too soon. I didn't mean to-"

"I love you too," Sam said, cutting him off.

"You-You do?"

Sam nodded. "I- I do," she said, blushing furiously.

Freddie beamed as he leaned over, kissing Sam passionately.

As he kissed her, Sam couldn't stop her mind from wandering. Did she feel the same way she felt after Aiden told her he loved her? She thought so. He heart was racing and her palms were sweating. She felt the same warm feeling she had felt with Aiden…and the same warm feeling she had felt that night years ago, when Freddie had told her the same thing.

And it was at that moment that Sam's mind seemed to explode with a thousand different thoughts.

Freddie loved her! And she loved him, she was sure of it! She felt so complete with him right now that it made her want to stay like this forever, with his lips on hers.

_See, you can do it. You can move on! _Sam told herself as she continued to kiss Freddie. _Freddie was just the wake-up call you needed to finally get on with your life. And now you can help Roxy…this is it. This is just what you needed. _

When she finally did need oxygen, Sam slowly pulled away with Freddie, catching her breath.

"Wow, you're still a pretty good kisser," Freddie laughed.

"Yeah, not bad yourself," Sam said, taking his hand and pulling him to his feet. She gave him one more deep kiss before looking up into his dark eyes. "Hey, Kenna and Garry said they'd keep the kids overnight if I needed them to. How about you…how about you stay the night here?"

Freddie's eyes widened. "You mean…you want to-"

"Yeah," Sam grinned, raising an eyebrow seductively. "I told you…I love you."

"Yeah, and I love you too," Freddie said as Sam began to kiss his neck gently. "But-But that doesn't mean we have to rush into anything."

Sam pulled away. "You don't want to?"

"I-I do," Freddie said quickly. "I mean…you look so-so _sexy _tonight. But I don't want you to think that just because we told each other we loved the other that we have to-"

"I want to do this," Sam smiled, giving him a quick kiss on his cheek. "Trust me."

"I-Okay," Freddie said as Sam went back to his neck. "Then who am I to argue?"

"Smart boy," Sam chuckled, taking his hand again and leading him back towards her bedroom.

Once inside the room, Sam wasted no time reconnecting her lips with Freddie's. She was caught off guard, though, as Freddie swept her off her feet, carefully laying her down on her bed. Freddie quickly scrambled onto the bed with her, and Sam pulled his head down to meet hers again, continuing to kiss him.

After a moment her hands began to wander down the Freddie's shoulders and his broad chest, and she began slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt. At the same time, Freddie reached behind her for the zipper of her dress, slowly pulling it down and pushing off her, leaving her in nothing but her bra and underwear.

"Wow," Freddie breathed softly, pulling away from her just as Sam had discarded his shirt. "I know you looked beautiful before but…wow."

"I see you've been working out while you've been busy being a spy," Sam smirked, staring at Freddie's toned chest and abs.

Freddie laughed as he quickly lay back down on top of her, kissing her once again.

Sam was lost in the sensation of it all. It felt so good to have Freddie so close to her. It reminded her of how she used to feel doing the same exact thing with Aiden…in this same exact bed.

_Stop it_! Sam scolded herself as Freddie began kissing her collarbone. _Stop thinking of Aiden! He's gone, and he's not coming back. You're with Freddie now. You've moved on! Get that through your head!_

"Sam…" Freddie mumbled breathlessly, massaging her bare sides.

"Ohhh…" Sam said as Freddie began kissing the sensitive spot on her neck. "Ohh…Aiden."

As soon as she said it, her eyes flew open. And so did Freddie's.

He slowly sat up, looking confused…and slightly hurt.

"Wait, no…I-I didn't mean-" Sam started anxiously as Freddie continued to stare at her. "I just…I was just-"

"I-I think I better go," Freddie said softly, quickly grabbing his shirt from the floor.

"No, Freddie, stay!" Sam said, grabbing her robe and throwing it on herself as she jumped out of the bed. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Sam, it's okay…don't apologize," Freddie said heavily. "I-I should've realized…you weren't ready for this. Not this soon."

"But I am!" Sam said. "Freddie, trust me; I've moved on from Aiden!"  
Freddie gave her a sad smile. "I know you're trying to Sam…I get that. But I don't think you're quite there. Not yet."

"No, I am-"

"Maybe we should take things a lot slower from now on," Freddie continued. "Maybe…maybe we should, you know, just stick to hanging out for awhile before we try anymore of this relationship stuff again."

"But…No, Freddie, I-I'm really-"

"Thanks for the dinner," Freddie said, buttoning the last button on his shirt. "It was really good. I-I'll see you later, Sam."

Sam felt tears welling up in her eyes as she watched Freddie leave the house.

How could she have been so stupid? How could she have done something so-so…_idiotic_?

She retreated back to her bedroom, collapsing on her bed as tears continued to fall from her eyes. The pillows still smelled like Freddie's cologne, even though he had only been there for a few moments.

_Did I really mean it when I said I loved him then_? Sam couldn't help but wonder. _Was I just fooling myself?_

But Sam could tell from the way she felt like her chest was going to explode from heartache and sadness that she really_ had _meant it. She _did _love Freddie.

But then why did she say her deceased husbands name when they were in bed together?

_God, this is all so confusing_, Sam thought, burying her head in her pillow. _I've moved on! I should be here with Freddie right now! We should be together right now! I've moved on! I've moved on…haven't I?_


	25. Chapter 25

Freddie let out a heavy sigh as he pulled his key from his pocket and let himself into his apartment, the euphoric balloon that had been swelling inside of him just a few short moments ago popped and destroyed.

Carly was sitting on the couch, going through a few papers on his coffee table.

"Hey!" she said, quickly scrambling to gather up all the papers, though Freddie was too distracted to even notice. "What are you doing back so soon? How'd your date with Sam go?"

"Bad," Freddie mumbled, collapsing onto the couch. "Real bad…"

"Oh come on, I-I'm sure it wasn't _that _bad," Carly said. "What happened?"

Freddie sighed. "Look, Carly I-I don't really want to talk about it."

"Oh, um, okay," Carly nodded. "Well then do you want to-"

"She said Aiden's name," Freddie blurted out. "I-It was all my fault…I should've known she wasn't ready. I should've known she hadn't completely moved on yet."

"Wait, what?" Carly frowned.

"Everything was going so well," Freddie said, shaking his head. "We were having such a good time. It was the perfect evening. We-We even went back to her bedroom to, you know…"

"For real?" Carly said, her eyes widening. "So you guys-"

"No," Freddie said. "No, we didn't. We were about to…we were getting pretty into it. But then she just-she said Aiden's name right in the middle of everything."

"Oh my God," Carly said softly.

"It's my fault," Freddie said again. "I think I've been trying to hard. I mean I told her I loved her, and we've only been on two dates if you count this one! I guess I thought since I told her I loved her back in high school, we could just get right back to that, you know."

Carly gave him a small smile. "Freddie, I only saw Sam and Aiden together a couple times. Heck, the first time I met the guy was at their wedding. But…Sam loved him. I could tell just by the way they looked at each other, and how when the few times I _did _call on the phone, he was all she could talk about."

"I know," Freddie said. "I know she loved him…that's why I should've insisted that we waited before we tried to go that far so soon."

"Yeah, maybe-maybe it was too soon," Carly agreed. "But, Freddie, even though Sam still might not have completely moved on from Aiden's death…I know she does love you. Even though its been so long since I've been as close to her as we once were, I can still tell. But she's confused. I mean put yourself in her shoes. What if you were married to some girl you were madly in love with for the past ten years while Sam was away, and she suddenly died. And then Sam came back not even a year later and you suddenly found yourself developing feelings for her, but you still felt emotional about your wife's death. Throw in two kids on top of that and your mind would probably explode from everything."

Freddie nodded slowly. "Yeah…I guess she has to be pretty confused about everything right now."

"She does love you, I know it," Carly said gently. "But you both need to wait until she's truly ready before you guys do anything. Sam may have thought she was, but I guess deep down…"

"You're right," Freddie said.

"Let her know you'll be here for her until she's _completely _ready," Carly told him.

"I will," Freddie said, smiling down at the brunette. "You know, Carls, you still give pretty good advice in these situations."

"Yeah, well, I think it's a safe bet to assume that I'm not the one who _Sam's _going to come to about this," Carly chuckled sadly. "Hopefully…hopefully that Kenna girl will help her out."

Freddie put his arms around her, pulling her into a friendly embrace, not saying a word.

…..

Sam still felt nothing short of awful and brokenhearted as she started up the stairs of Kenna and Garry's apartment building to pick up Liam and Roxy later that evening. She figured it was no use having them stay over here anymore; not since she messed everything up and Freddie had left.

She knocked on their door and a few seconds later Kenna answered.

"Hey, don't tell me your date's over already," Kenna said.

"Yeah, well, the date didn't go so well," Sam mumbled, walking into the apartment where she saw Liam fast asleep in his playpen. "Where's Roxy? I just wanna get back home."

"She's upstairs playing a game with Garry," Kenna frowned. "She wound up drinking a lot of soda so she couldn't fall asleep. Sam, what happened?"

"What happened was I screwed up any chance I had with Freddie," Sam sighed. "I messed up _big_ time."

"Oh, I'm sure it wasn't that bad," Kenna said.

"No, it was," Sam said.

"Okay, seriously, _what happened_?"

Sam leaned against the living room wall. "Freddie and I…things got pretty intense between us. You know, the good intense. We went back to my room and everything was great! But then, in the middle of everything, right when things were getting _really _heated…I said-I said Aiden's name!"

"What?" Kenna gasped.

"Yup, right in the middle of the most intimate moment Freddie and I have ever had…I messed it all up by saying Aiden's name instead of his," Sam said, shaking her head. "God, I'm such a moron."

"Oh, Sam," Kenna said softly, putting her arms around her. "You're not a moron."

"Kenna, have _you _ever said someone else's name while you were in bed with Garry?"

"Well, no," Kenna admitted. "But-Sam…I-This was a _huge _step you took. Maybe-Maybe going that far with Freddie so soon was just too much for you."

"No, Kenna, I'm ready to get on with my life-"

"Yes, and that's good," Kenna said. "But Sam, that doesn't mean you're ready to just jump into everything. You have to take little steps. Going on these dates with Freddie was the right direction to go in. But you need to work up to some things."

"But how can I work my way up to anything if I don't _do_ anything?" Sam groaned. "What am I supposed to do? Just spend the rest of my life going out for dinner and then ending it all with a kiss on the cheek?"

"No," Kenna said. "You wait until you're ready."

"But I really love Freddie," Sam whispered. "How could I not be ready now? I thought that's what moving on meant."

"I told you, it's a lot of little steps," Kenna said. "Sam…when you woke up this morning, did you plan on sleeping with Freddie? Even when you were getting ready for your date…did the thought ever cross your mind?"

"Well….no," Sam said slowly. "I guess it was kind of impulsive."

"Well soon, maybe you'll find yourself wanting to do it all on your own, and not on some random impulse," Kenna said. "You'll do it because you're really ready. One day you'll just _know_ you're ready. And when that day comes, that's when you'll have moved on completely."

"Well how am I supposed to know when that day is?"

Kenna gave her a small smile. "Sam, when you wake up in the morning, is Aiden still one of the first things that crosses your mind?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah…"

"Well wait for that one morning to come when he _isn't _the first thing you think about," Kenna said gently. "That day will come. You just have to be patient."

Sam sighed. "Maybe…maybe you're right. I guess I did try and rush things. I guess I just thought if I could get to that point with Freddie as fast as I could-"

"It would be that final push you need to get on with your life?" Kenna finished knowingly.

"Yeah," Sam mumbled.

"You do need to get on your life," Kenna said. "But you can't control how long it takes you to get over your husband's death. You will, I promise, but focus on what you can control. Focus on getting moved into that new house and helping Roxy talk again. And when you're really ready, Freddie will be there for you."

Sam sighed. "Yeah, I don't know about that."

"What do you mean? You guys didn't break up or anything?"

"I dunno, I think…I think we're on a break or something," Sam mumbled. "He said he thought it was best if we went to hanging out for awhile."

"Look, Freddie's a good guy, if you talk to him and just explain that you made a mistake…I don't think he'll hold it against you."

"Yeah…hopefully," Sam said, still feeling like a fool for her slip-up. "If I can ever face him again."

"Hey, you're tough; you can do it," Kenna grinned.

"Not this tough," Sam sighed. "But I'll try and think of something to say to him."  
"Sleep on it," Kenna said. "Here, I'll go get Roxy for you so you can get home. Roxy! Roxy, your mom is here!"

"Thanks," Sam said, picking up Liam carefully so not to wake him.

A few moments later, Roxy ran downstairs with Garry.

"Come on, honey, let's go," Sam said, taking her daughter's hand.

Sam drove home, deep in thought about what Kenna had told her.

_She's right_, Sam thought to herself as she pulled into her driveway. _I shouldn't have tried to move so fast. I should've stuck to just simple dates for a while. Hopefully once we finally move into the new house and Roxy starts to get better, things will get easier and less confusing._

By the time Roxy got out of the car, Sam could tell she was exhausted. She let the family into the house and Roxy followed her into her bedroom.

As Sam laid Liam down in his crib, Sam watched Roxy pick up her pajamas from her closet and grab her stuffed animal that had somehow made it into a pile of dirty clothes.

_Alright…this __**is **__in your control, _Sam told herself firmly. _You've been saying for months now that you were going to put a stop to this, but you always back down. I don't want Roxy to have to be stuck in this grieving process forever like __**I **__seem to be._

"Roxy?" Sam said, taking a deep breath. "Come on, we're going into your room."

Roxy gave a quick sign. _Why_?

"Because," Sam said, trying to keep her voice steady. "I'm going to tuck you in and then you're going to sleep in your own bed like the big girl you are."

As Sam suspected, Roxy's eyes widened in fear and she quickly shook her head.

"Yes," Sam said, trying to stay strong as she scooped up her daughter and began walking towards her room. "You're going to stop being so afraid to do things, Roxy."

Roxy furiously shook her head, but Sam opened the door of the child's bedroom and turned on the light before setting her gently on her princess bed that she hadn't slept in for almost a year.

"Roxy, you're going to be okay," Sam said, stroking her daughter's hair as she continued to cling tightly to her neck. "But you need to start sleeping in your bed again."

Roxy's lip began to quiver and Sam could tell she was on the verge of tears.

"Honey, nothing's going to hurt you in here," Sam said. "Trust me."

Roxy, her hands trembling, gave a few more signs. _But what if someone comes in the house again and hurts me like they hurt daddy?_

"That's not going to happen," Sam said. "Sweetheart, you can't live your life so afraid that you don't get to experience anything. I promise, nothing's going to happen if you sleep in here tonight. And you _are _going to sleep in here."

Roxy shook her head again, and she began to cry.

_Stay strong, don't back down_, Sam willed herself.

"You have all your toys here," Sam said, pulling the covers over the child. "And I'll keep your nightlight on."  
Roxy continued to sob harder, and it took Sam all she had not to pick her up and take her back to her room.

"Roxy, I love you, and I wouldn't be doing this to you if I didn't know it was what's best for you," Sam said, prying Roxy's arms off her. "You-You'll see, you're going to sleep so much better in here in your cool princess bed than you would in my lame old bed."  
Roxy kept crying, and Sam felt her heart break for the second time that night.

"Good-Good night, Roxy," Sam said softly, kissing the top of her head. "Sweet dreams, honey."

As Sam left the room and gently closed the door behind her, Sam could swear Roxy's cries got louder. She remembered when Roxy was a baby, and her and Aiden had had to go through this same thing and ignore Roxy's cries like their pediatrician had told them to do to get her to start sleeping through the night.

This time, though, it felt a thousand times worse, probably because now, Roxy was well aware of what Sam was doing to her.

_She needed this_, Sam told herself as she hurried back into her room. _She'll be okay._

…..

Sam tossed and turned all night. Between her giant screw up with Freddie and Roxy's episode, it was amazing she even managed to get a few moments of sleep.

When her alarm woke her the next morning, Sam slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes. She instinctively looked to her side where Roxy usually slept, only to find the bed empty. Sam had to say, she was impressed. She was half-expecting Roxy to sneak back into the room in the middle of the night.

_Good. She made it through the night, _Sam yawned as she grabbed her phone from her bedside table. She saw that she had one new email on her screen, and as she opened up the message, she found it was from Carol, telling her yet again that the paperwork that would get her Aiden's inheritance had been delayed.

_Whatever, let her keep playing those games, _Sam thought, tossing her phone down as she crossed to room to Liam's crib. _The house sold; I can afford to move out. She'll have to stop this crap eventually._

"Come on, sweetie," Sam said, picking her son up out of his crib. "We have to be at the restaurant soon. Let's go get your sister and head out."

Sam walked down the hall and quietly pushed open Roxy's door.

"Roxy?" Sam said softly. "Come on, time to wake up."

She turned on the lights and looked over at Roxy's bed. She frowned, though, when she saw that the bed was empty.

"Roxy?" Sam said again, louder this time. She left the room and checked the bathroom and the kitchen, not finding her there either.

"Roxy!" Sam yelled, looking through the rest of house. "Roxy, where are you? This isn't funny! Come on, you need to get dressed; we have to go or we'll be late!"

She walked back into Roxy's room. "Roxanne Samantha Anderson, you have ten seconds to get out here before you're in big trouble!" Sam said firmly. "One! Two! Three! Four-"

Sam stopped as she suddenly felt a draft in the room. She looked over at the window and felt her stomach drop as she spotted something she hadn't noticed when she first entered the room.

The window was open.

"No…" Sam said, her voice hardly louder than a whispered as she ran over to the window. "No…Oh my God…no! No, this is not happening! Roxy! Roxy!"

But as she looked out the window, Sam saw absolutely no trace of the young girl.

Sam, now feeling her heart thudding against her chest and tears forming in her eyes, looked over at Roxy's bed and realized that Roxy's favorite green sneakers were missing. And so was her backpack.

"Oh my God," Sam said, feeling as though the room was caving in on her. "She ran away from home!"


	26. Chapter 26

Roxy sat on her bed, tears streaming down her face as she continued to cry.

What was her mother doing to her, making her stay all alone in her dark, empty room? Didn't she know how much she hated this? Didn't she know that if she was left by herself something horrible was bound to happen to her? Just as it had with her father?

As Roxy's sobs continued, the poor girl felt as if the walls were closing in, and it was almost as if she could feel the monsters and bad guys staring at her from within the darkness of the room, excited that their chance to hurt her had finally come.

_I don't like this! I want mommy back!_ Roxy thought miserably, her tears now falling onto her sheets. Why would her mother do this to her? Hadn't she just said she loved her? Well, if she loved her, then why was she making her do the thing she knew scared her?

Roxy cried louder, hoping that maybe she could coax her mother back into her room to rescue her and bring her back into her room with her.

But still, her mother did not come.

_I don't want to be a big girl like mommy said_! Roxy thought anxiously. _I don't like this! Someone's going to come in and hurt me and mommy and Liam like they hurt daddy and I'll be all by myself!_

At the mere thought of her father, Roxy felt even worse, because he was all she wanted right now. Her father would've never made her sleep all alone in this room! By now he would've come charging in like the hero he was, scooped her up into his arms and held her tight and called her his princess like he always did.

As she heard a branch scrape against her window from outside, Roxy quickly grabbed her favorite stuffed bear that her parents had gotten her for her third birthday and clutched it to her chest.

_I want mommy! _Roxy said to herself. The simple idea of even getting up off the bed and running down the hall to her mother's bedroom terrified her. What if something was waiting out there for her like it had been for her father?

And so Roxy continued to cry, so distracted by her fears that she didn't even notice her eyelids growing heavy and consciousness drifting off to sleep…

When Roxy woke up again, it took her moment to realize that she had actually fallen asleep. It felt as if just a second ago she had been in hysterics. But she felt her cheeks and there was no more signs of tears. She looked across the room at her zoo animal clock and though she couldn't quite tell time yet, she knew that the hands on the clock had moved considerably since her mother had put her to bed.

And then suddenly, it hit her.

_I slept in my own room_, she recounted slowly. _And nothing hurt me. Nobody came in like that night when daddy got hurt. Mommy was right._

Roxy quickly pushed back her covers and scrambled out of bed, looking out the window. The sun had barely even risen, but Roxy suddenly felt excited for the first time in forever.

She had slept all alone, in her own room, and nothing had happened! Nothing at all!

The horrific images of what would happen to her if she stayed in this room by herself seemed almost…_silly,_ now that she was seeing with her own two eyes that she could be alone without harm befalling her.

It was as though a whole new sense of power and courage swept over the young girl as she stared out the window; she suddenly had the great freedom that had been kept from her for so long.

_If I can sleep in my own room, and nothing bad happened to me…I wonder what else I can do?_

The world, which she had spent the past ten months hiding from, suddenly seemed like her playground and she felt indestructible. At first, she didn't know what to do with herself. Did she run around? Did she wake her mother?

But then her eyes fell onto a small frame on her dresser that held an old, worn photograph of her and her father playing at the park.

And suddenly, Roxy knew exactly what to do; she was going to do the thing she had been wanting to do for months now, but never had the courage to try to do.

So she carefully slid on her favorite sneakers, stuffed her stuffed animal and old storybook that her mother and father had read to her every night when she was younger into her backpack, and headed for the door. As she put her hand on the knob, though, she remembered all the alarms and locks on the front door that she didn't know how to work. So she turned around, pushed up the glass of her window, popped the screen and hopped out and headed out into the world.

…..

"No! I-She doesn't have any other people she would go to!" Sam yelled into her phone as she paced back and forth in her kitchen, holding Liam firmly at her side. "I've called her god parents and her aunt and they both haven't seen her!"

It had almost killed Sam to have to call Carol that morning and tell her that Roxy was currently missing. But she had no choice; for some reason that Sam could never understand, Roxy was able to stand the woman, so it had been reasonable to assume that Roxy would try and find her. She could hear the judgment and disgust clear in her sister-in-law's voice as she snapped that she was on her way over.

Kenna and Garry had closed the restaurant and were on there way over now as well.

"Ma'am, we need you to remain calm-" the officer on the other end said.

"How am I supposed to stay calm when my four-year old daughter is missing?" Sam exclaimed loudly, causing Liam to let out a soft whimper.

"I'm sending officers over now, and we'll start getting her pictures out to the authorities," the officer said. "We can't officially declare her missing until after the twenty-four hour mark."

"What? But who knows what could happen to her in twenty-four hours!" Sam yelled.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but that's the procedure," the officer said simply.

"Yeah, well your procedure is _awful_!" Sam snapped as she angrily hung up the phone.

She didn't know what to do. How could Roxy have gone? She was having a meltdown over the idea of staying in her room by herself! How could she have managed to leave the house on her own?

And then suddenly Sam's heart stopped as another thought crossed her mind; what if Roxy hadn't left the house willingly? What if someone had broken in again and this time Roxy was the victim.

_This is all my fault, I shouldn't have pushed her to sleep in there by herself! _Sam thought miserably. _I told her she would be safe! _

Sam glanced out the kitchen window, spotting Freddie's apartment building across the street.

Roxy _does _love Freddie, Sam remembered. Was it possible that she had gone over there in the middle of the night?

Maybe. And right now, Sam was desperate enough to take a chance on a maybe.

So without even bothering to throw a jacket on over her pajamas, Sam bolted out the front door across the street and headed up to Freddie's apartment.

As she pounded on his front door, Sam hoped that as mad as Freddie may be for her screw up last night, he wouldn't have held that against Roxy if she had in fact run over here.

Freddie opened up a few seconds later.

"Sam," he said, apparently surprised to see her so early. "Hi…um, listen, about last night, I just wanted to let you know-"

"Freddie," Sam said, her dating life suddenly the furthest thing from her mind. "Have-Have you seen Roxy? Is she here?"

Freddie frowned, confused. "Um, no? Why would she be here?"

"She's missing," Sam said softly.

"What?" Freddie exclaimed.

"I-I made her sleep in her own room," Sam explained shakily. "And this morning when I went to get her…she was gone."

"Have you called the police?" Freddie asked, grabbing his coat at once and throwing it on.

"Yes, but-"

"What's going on?" Carly asked, joining the two at the front door.

"Roxy's missing," Freddie said. He turned to Sam. "I'll go look for her."

"Thank you," Sam said. She looked over at Carly. "Carly…could-could you take Liam and go back over to my house? Kenna and Garry are on their way over, and, er, my sister-in-law too. Kenna's going to talk to the cops when they get there and, well, if she-if she comes home while we're out, I-I want someone to be there."

"Yes, of course," Carly said, taking Liam from Sam. "Good-Good luck you guys."

"Come on," Freddie said to Sam, and the two hurried back outside. "Do you have any idea where she would be?"

"No!" Sam said desperately. "She's never done this before! I don't even-Wait! What if she went to that gazebo; she loves that place. Oh my God…that's so far. If she tried to get there all by herself-"

"You go check there," Freddie said before Sam could break down. "I'll drive around the blocks near here; she can't have gone too far, she's only four, after all."

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of," Sam said softly.

…..

As Freddie drove the streets of the city, he realized that how he felt right at this moment was the most terrified he had ever been in his whole life. What if something had happened to that poor child?

He knew there was no way Sam could handle losing her daughter. If Roxy was hurt in any way, Sam would crumble.

And even after his and Sam's disastrous night last night, he'd never in a million years want to see her suffer like that.

_I wish I knew the city better, _Freddie thought, anxiously looking around for any trace of a small blonde head. _Where could she have gone? _

He had already stopped at least a dozen stores and rand in and asked the managers if they had seen the child, but no one had. He had looked in three allies, the library, five restaurants and every corner coffee shop, but he had yet to see even a glance of Roxy.

_What if she hopped on a bus_? Freddie thought. _Or took the subway somewhere? Oh, God, she must be so scared and-_

Suddenly, as he was driving past a large park, he slammed on his brakes and almost caused the car behind him to slam into him. He paid no attention as the driver of that car passed him, shooting him a rude hand gesture as he went. He was focused on the small, distant figure of a child standing far at the other end of the park in some sort of gated field.

Was that…yes, yes it was! He had found her! He found Roxy!

He quickly pulled his car over and jumped out and darted across the street, nearly getting hit by a taxi as he went.

As he neared the field, Freddie realized that this wasn't just an ordinary field; he could now see the mounds of stone and bouquets of flowers left at them.

This was a cemetery.

Roxy was in the back of the cemetery, sitting at the foot of one of the tombstones, flipping through a storybook with a stuffed bear on her lap.

"Roxy!" he said, and the girl's head snapped up.

Freddie saw that Roxy was only wearing her thin pajamas and was shivering slightly, so he pulled off his own coat and wrapped it around her as he kneeled down next to her.

"Roxy, what are you doing here?" he said, resisting the urge to hug her tight, almost as if she was his own child. "You have your mom so worried. She's going crazy trying to find you."

But as he spoke, his eyes fell onto the tombstone they were hunched in front of.

_Aiden Michael Anderson_

_1992-2023_

Roxy looked up at him, her big, green eyes locking with his brown ones.

"I missed my daddy," she said.

Her first words spoken in ten full months.


	27. Chapter 27

Freddie stared down at the girl in amazement.

"Roxy…" he breathed softly as she got to her feet, brushing the dirt off herself. "You-You-"

"Can I go home now?" Roxy asked.

"I-Um, yeah," Freddie nodded, a smile creeping onto his face. "Yes, you can come. Come on, Roxy, I'll take you home."

He made to take Roxy's hand but she instead held up he arms for him to pick her up. Freddie hesitated for a moment and then gently scooped her up.

"Bye, daddy," she said softly looking back at the tombstone as Freddie began to carry her back to his car.

….

Sam quickly parked her car and hopped out, running as fast as she could out to the gazebo. She was almost ten miles from her home. Could Roxy really have managed to come out here all by herself? She didn't have too much else to go off of at the moment, though, so she continued to run until she reached the secret spot.

But the gazebo was empty.

"Roxy!" Sam yelled, looking around the open space desperately. "Roxy! Are you out here? Roxy!"

Sam ran over to the river, where her daughter loved to fish. The water was moving fast now, faster that it ever had.

_Oh God…what if she fell in_? Sam thought, horrified. Roxy could barely keep her head above water in a simple swimming pool; she wouldn't stand a chance in these waters.

If anything happened to her, Sam would never forgive herself…

"Roxy!" Sam cried again, feeling as if a giant weight was pressing against her chest. "Roxy!"

As she continued to call out her name, Sam realized it was pointless. Roxy wasn't here.

_Why is this happening again? _Sam asked herself miserably. _What have I done to deserve all this?_

Sam had thought after Aiden died, nothing as tragic could ever happen to her again.

Clearly she was wrong.

"Roxy…" Sam said again, softer this time, defeat evident in her voice.

She suddenly felt her phone buzz in her pocket and she grabbed it, praying it was _someone _with good news. Her breathing quickened when she saw it was Freddie calling her.

_This could either be really good…or really bad_, Sam told herself as she pressed the phone to her ear.

"Did you find her?" Sam asked at once.

She was met with the sound of static, and she could barely make out Freddie's response; there was hardly any cell reception out here.

"I can't hear," Sam said, rushing back out of the woods to her car. "What were you saying?"

"Sam-found-bringing back-" was all she was able to make out.

"Speak up! You're breaking up!"

"I found-Roxy-bringing-home. She-to me."

"You found Roxy?" Sam exclaimed, hardly daring to believe this.

"Yes," Freddie's muffled voice said on the other line. "I found-bringing her home-she can-"

"Oh my God…Oh my God, Freddie! I-Thank you!" Sam said, finally regaining some feeling throughout her body. "I-I'm on my way back home now!"

She hung up the phone and hopped back into her car and sped home.

…..

When Sam arrived back at the house, she ran up the steps and burst in through the front door.

"Roxy!" she exclaimed, paying no attention to the officer Kenna and Carly were talking to or anything else happening around her. She just ran into the kitchen where Roxy was sitting on the counter top next to Freddie and pulled her daughter into her arms.

"Roxy! Sweetie, are you okay? Are you hurt? Where did you _go_? Did you have any idea how _worried_ I was?" Sam said all in one breath as she continued to hug Roxy tight, never intending to let go. "I thought you were lost or worse! Honey, _please _never _ever _do that again."

"I'm sorry mommy," Roxy said.

"I mean you scared me half to death!" Sam continued. "I kept thinking the worst and-and-oh my God….did you-did you just-Roxy you talked!"

She could hardly believe her ears! Roxy, who hadn't said a word to her in ten long months had actually spoken!"

"She spoke?" Kenna gasped, turning away from the police officer and running towards Sam and Roxy, Carly at her heels.

"I-I was trying to tell you that on the phone," Freddie said. "When I found her…she talked."

"She-She did?" Sam said softly. "Oh my God…Roxy? Roxy, sweetie, I-I'm so proud of you! You're talking! You're really talking!"

"I'm hungry," Roxy said. "Can I have something to eat?"

Freddie couldn't help but let out a small laugh. After all that had happened this morning, food was one of the first things on her mind? She really _was _Sam's daughter.

"Yes," Sam grinned. "Yes, honey, you can have whatever you want."

"You want us to order pizza for you?" Kenna asked as Sam wiped the tears from her eyes. "Or do you want ice cream? Chinese? A burger? You name it, kid."

"Pizza!" Roxy said happily.

"Okay, okay, we're getting you pizza," Sam said. "I'll find a place open this early and-"

"I'll do it," Carly said quickly. She was still holding Liam in her arms. "I'm sure if you bribe some restaurant they'll deliver something over at this hour and-"

Suddenly the front door slammed open and Carol stormed in.

She didn't say a word as she glared at Sam, stepping over towards Roxy.

"Roxy, dear, you're safe? You're okay? Oh, you had me so worried," she said, stroking Roxy's hair. "Oh, and you're so cold. Were you all alone outside?"

"I'm okay, Aunt Carol," Roxy said. "Freddie brought me home. I was visiting daddy!"

"Oh-Oh look at you sweetheart, you're back to talking!" Carol said. She looked up at Sam. "Despite having someone so irresponsible in charge of you."

Sam's jaw clenched tightly.

"Um, hey Roxy? Why don't you and I go call about that pizza?" Kenna said, taking the four-year olds hand. "Let's go out in the yard so we can hear better…"

"Okay!" Roxy said, oblivious to the tension that had just filled the room.

Once Kenna had taken Roxy out, Carol narrowed her eyes. "_How _could you have let her disappear? What kind of parent can't keep track of their own child? Do you have any idea what could've happened to her? Do you not realize she could've been _killed _out there all on her own? Did Aiden's death teach you _nothing_?"

Freddie frowned. No wonder Sam never seemed to like her sister-in-law.

"She went out her window in the middle of the night!" Sam exclaimed. "How was I supposed to stop her? I thought she was sleeping and-"

"Why was she _able _to go out the window?" Carol snapped. "What, was _that _unlocked too? God, what if that night Aiden's killer had decided to come in through her bedroom window instead of the front door? You've gone too far this time! I will have child services out here so fast your _head _will spin!"

"Hey!" Freddie said. "Don't talk to her like that."

"I'll talk to her anyway I damn please, thank you," Carol snipped coldly. She turned back to Sam. "So you can send me millions of emails about getting Aiden's inheritance but you can't take two seconds to make sure the locks on your daughter's bedroom window are locked! And if you think I'm going to sit by and watch my brother's children be destroyed by someone as irresponsible as you, then you have another-"

"Hey, you're Carol Anderson, aren't you?" Carly suddenly said, surprising everybody.

Carol looked over at Carly, who she hadn't even glanced at when she burst in. "Yes, why? Who are you? I don't know you."

Carly put a hand on her hip. "Yes you do. I'm Carly Shay."

Carol's eyes widened. "Carly Shay?"

"Um, Carly, do you know her?" Sam frowned, confused.

"Yes, I do," Carly said. "I'm her boss."

"Her boss?" Freddie repeated.

"Yup," Carly nodded. "My fashion company hired her and some associates from her firm a few years ago to handle some international business positions. We've never met face-to-face; we've been communicating by conference calls. Maybe if I had gotten to chance to meet her in person, though, I would've seen her true colors."

Carol said nothing.

"Conveniently enough," Carly continued. "It's very easy to replace her branch…we've been talking about possibly taking a new group in anyway."

Carol looked as though she had just gotten slapped in the face. "You're ending my firm's business relation with your company?"

"Oh it would be very easy to do that, yes," Carly said. "And when I did it, I would be sure to let your entire firm know _why _I did it, so they could all thank you _personally. _I would also use my connections to make sure that _other _industries had a clear understanding of what kind of a power-hungry monster you really are."

"Whoa…" Sam said softly, not taking her eyes off the scene.

"_Or_," Carly went on. "You can apologize to Sam right now. You can promise me that you'll never treat her this way again, and-Sam? What was it that you were emailing her about?"

"She-She was supposed to have Aiden's inheritance from their parent's transferred over to me months ago," Sam replied, flabbergasted at this whole thing.

"Right," Carly nodded. "You'll have that to her too. You do all that, and I may decide to forget what I just saw here when it comes time to resign with your company after the new year."

Carol was silent for a moment, looking as though she had just swallowed something very bitter. Then, taking a deep breath, she turned to Sam. "I'm sorry for what I just said. I was only worried about Roxy, I care deeply for her. And Liam. And I'm sorry if anything I may have said to you in the past may have been construed…_negatively_."

Sam knew that Carol didn't mean that last part, but seeing the pained look on her face as she was forced to say it satisfied her perfectly.

"I'll have the inheritance transferred into your account by the end of the week," Carol said. And with that she turned on her heel and hurried out of the house.

"Um…Carly?" Sam said. "What-What just happened?"

"I guess I got a little abusive with power," Carly said.

"Abusive with-that was the single greatest thing I've ever seen!" Sam cried. "Did you see her face? Do you know how long I've wanted to see her look like that? You went totally boss-lady on her!"

"It was pretty cool," Freddie agreed. "I guess you really are a big shot in the fashion world."

"Well I'm just glad I was finally able to put that power to good use," Carly shrugged.

"Oh, you _more _than did that!" Sam said. She stepped closer and held out her arms and hugged her. "Thank you, Carly."


	28. Chapter 28

It was if the day couldn't get any better. Roxy was speaking; she was _finally _speaking! She seemed determined to make up for ten months of silence, and had hardly stopped talking to even breathe.

And then there was Carly's showdown with Carol, which Sam cursed herself for not getting on video. Carly had really been there for her…just like during the old times.

Kenna, Sam and Garry decided to close the restaurant for the whole day. Everybody was still gathered in Sam's place, feasting on pizza and listening to Roxy tell her latest story.

"Pizza's my favorite because it's shaped like triangles," Roxy said happily. "I learned in preschool that triangles have three sides, and squares have four sides, and these things called pelagons have five sides. I'm going to be five soon! That's old, right?"

"Ancient," Sam chuckled.

"Liam's not even one," Roxy continued. "He's a baby. Was I a baby mommy?"

"Yes you were," Sam nodded.

"I like babies, they're really cute," Roxy said. "They have little hands and little feet and little arms and-"

Sam looked over at the other end of the kitchen and saw Freddie watching the scene from afar.

And then Sam remembered that as much as she wanted to bask in this newfound happiness, she had one more loose end to tie up first.

"Hey, Roxy, why don't you keep talking to everybody, and mommy will be back in a second," Sam said.

"Okay!" Roxy said. "Do you think babies like being babies? Do they-"

Sam walked over to Freddie, giving him a small smile. "Um, so, thanks again for finding her," she said. "I-I don't know what I would've done if-"

"Don't mention it," Freddie said at once. "I'm just glad she's okay."

"Yeah…me too," Sam nodded. "Um, when she said she was visiting her daddy…was she at-"

"She-She was at the cemetery," Freddie confirmed. "At, um, Aiden's tombstone."

"Right," Sam whispered. "I haven't taken her there in ages…last time we went was two weeks after he died, and she had a panic attack so I never brought her back…I didn't think she would be able to handle it. Guess she was stronger than I thought."

"Well she _is _your daughter," Freddie pointed out. "She's got to be tough, right?"

Sam let out a small chuckled. "Right." The she took a deep breath. "Listen, Freddie? About last night…I'm so, _so _sorry. I-I don't know what came over me."

"It's okay," Freddie sighed. "I'm not mad or anything. I guess…I guess it just wasn't the right time."

"I really thought I was ready," Sam mumbled. "But-But apparently not."

"Sam, I meant what I said last night, about-about loving you," Freddie said. "I really do…but maybe I should've picked a better time to say it. It may have given you this idea that you needed to rush things. And we don't need to do that; I'm fine going as slow as you need to take it. You've been through so much…it's normal for you not to be ready for some things so soon."

"I pushed it though," Sam said heavily. "I was the one who insisted we do it, I was the one who said someone else's name in the middle of it all."

Freddie reached over and squeezed her shoulder. "It was too soon; let's just agree on that."

"I meant it too, though," Sam whispered. "I love you, Freddie. I really do."

"I know," Freddie said earnestly. "Look, I want us to work. Why don't we go back to square one? We'll hang out, go out on little dates…that sort of stuff. And then when you feel ready, when you feel _truly _ready…well, we'll take it from there."

Sam smiled up at him. "You really are one of the most forgiving, nice, sweetest guys out there, you know that, right?"

"Well I mean I-"

"And you're also one of the dorkiest, nubbiest and lamest ones too," Sam added.

Freddie laughed. "What? You couldn't just give me a plain old compliment?"

"Nah, never," Sam grinned. "I had to balance it out."  
She slowly reached for his hand and gently took it. "So, um, I'm going to be officially moving into the new house next week. Why don't you come over for dinner? You know, with-with the kids there this time."

Freddie nodded. "It's a date." He leaned down and gently kissed Sam on the cheek.

…

A few nights later, Sam was at the restaurant, finishing up the cleaning. Kenna and Garry had already gone home, and Sam was getting ready to do the same.

"Roxy, did you clean up your crayons and coloring books from the booth?" Sam asked, wiping down the counter.

"Yes," Roxy, who was playing with Liam in his playpen, nodded.

Sam smiled; it still sounded like music to her ears, hearing her daughter's voice.

"All right, we'll we're gonna head out soon," Sam said. "Just after I take the trash out and run the dishwasher one last time and-"

She was interrupted by the restaurant door opening and Carly and Freddie walking in.

"Oh, hey," Sam said. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We thought we'd come by and help you close up," Freddie said, stepping over and giving her a quick kiss.

Sam grinned; it felt magical to have Freddie's lips press against hers. She knew she was in love with Freddie, and she loved that he was willing to give her the time she needed to move further in their relationship. For now, she was going to be perfectly content with the gentle kisses and candlelit dinners. One day she would know when it was time for the to come.

"You look beautiful tonight," Freddie whispered in her ear.

"I'm covered in barbecue sauce and chicken grease," Sam smirked.

"Still…the look works for you," Freddie chuckled.

"Thanks, I guess…" Sam said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, Roxy, hey Liam," Freddie said, walking over to the kids. "What are you guys up to?"

"I'm making silly faces for Liam," Roxy said.

"Ah, I see," Freddie said.

"So," Carly said, diverting Sam's attention from Freddie. "Things are good between you guys?"

"Yeah," Sam said. "Things are good."

"You guys are still together then?"

"Yes, Carly, we're still together," Sam replied. "We're just taking things slow this time. I kind of like it more that way…it feels so _romantic_. God, that was probably one of the lamest things I've ever said, right?"

"Probably," Carly couldn't help but agree. "So you need any extra hands around here?"

"I was just going back to load the dishwasher if you wanna help with that," Sam shrugged.

"Sure," Carly nodded.

"Hey, we're heading back into the kitchen, we'll be back in a sec," Sam said to Freddie, who was still playing with Roxy and Liam.

"All right," Freddie called after them.

The girls stepped into the kitchen and Sam began placing the dirty dishes into the dishwasher.

"So," she said. "I got an email from Carol's assistant. Aiden's inheritance has officially been put into my savings."

"Good," Carly said. "I can't believe that witch…she's nothing like Aiden was."

"Yeah, but I guess all siblings can't be as alike with their personalities as you and Spencer are," Sam reasoned.

"Spencer and I aren't that much alike," Carly mumbled. "He's always been there for you, even living all the way in Seattle. He didn't abandon you like I did."

Sam sighed. "Carly…look, let's-let's just leave that in the past-"

"Sam, I'm so sorry," Carly whispered.

"Carly, you've said that-"

"But I mean it, I just need you to know that," Carly said.

Sam nodded. "I know, Carly. But focus on everything you've done lately to make up for the past! You came to New Jersey, you've helped with mine and Freddie's relationship, you _totally _showed Carol up the other day…and, well…you know."

"What?" Carly asked.

"Carly…" Sam said. "You know how I said I had no idea who bought my house? How I said my realtor told me the buyer wanted to remain anonymous?"

Carly looked down at her shoes. "Yeah? What about it?"

"I met with the realtor today," Sam replied. "And while I was signing the deed to my new place…I got a peek at some of her papers when she opened up her briefcase. I saw the name of the person who bought my house."

"Oh," Carly said, still not meeting Sam's gaze. "Well that's-that's-"

"You bought my house," Sam said softly.

Carly looked up. "You weren't supposed to find out."

"Carly-that was-why would you do that?" Sam asked.

"Because I knew you needed to get out of there, I saw how it was making you feel, to be trapped in there," Carly said. "I just wanted you to be happy."

"But Carly…the house was expensive," Sam said. "And-And housing values and all that economic stuff I never paid attention to in high school-"

"Sam, I could handle paying for the house," Carly smiled. "Don't worry about that."

"I don't even know what to say," Sam said.

"You don't have to say anything," Carly said.

"But what are you even going to do with the place?" Sam asked.

"Oh, I dunno, I thought I'd make it sort of a vacation home for myself," Carly shrugged. "It would give me reason to come back and visit when I leave for Italy again next week…That is, if you _want_ me to come back and visit."

Sam stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her friend. "You're always welcome in New Jersey, Carls."

…

"Look at this place! It's huge!" Roxy exclaimed as her, Sam, and Freddie stepped into the new home Sam had officially purchased.

"Sweetie, it's smaller than our old home," Sam chuckled. "It just seems so big because it's empty."

"When are we going to put stuff in it then?" Roxy asked.

"When we load it out of the car," Sam said, shifting Liam in her arms as he fussed. "Let's get his playpen set up first so he can nap. He's been up all morning while we've been getting the stuff ready."

"I've got it," Freddie said, setting the foldable playpen down and standing it up.

"Okay, Roxy, your job while Freddie and I carry in all the boxes-"

"Oh, so you _are_ going to help with the physical labor?" Freddie smirked.

"We'll see," Sam grinned. She turned back to Roxy. "You think you can stay right here and watch your brother? Me and Freddie are going to be coming in and out the whole time, and we'll never go further than the car parked in the driveway, okay?"

"I can do it, mommy!" Roxy assured her. "I'll take really good care of Liam."

"I know you will," Sam smiled, rustling her hair.

"We should try and get this stuff unloaded as fast as we can so I can go back to the old place and get the rest," Freddie said.

"Oh, right," Sam said. "Let's go then."

The two headed out to the car, Sam looking over her shoulder at her children. "You know it's amazing…Less than two weeks ago she would've had a total meltdown if we went thirty feet away from her."

"She's really come a long way," Freddie agreed, opening up the trunk of the car. "Alright, this stuff goes in your kitchen."

"Wait," Sam said as Freddie was about to lift one of the boxes. "I, um, have something I want to give you first."

She fished into her pocket and pulled out a silver key. "Here, it's-it's an extra key. I want you to have it."

"Really?" Freddie said, staring down at it.

"Yeah, um, I figure if I ever go out of town, you can be the guy who waters my plants and stuff…if I ever actually get plants," Sam shrugged. "Or go away. Or, you know, if you want to swing by sometimes I won't have to get up and unlock the door for you every time. It saves me energy, really, and I-"

Freddie silenced her by leaning down and kissing her.

"Thanks," he said when they pulled apart. "This means a lot to me, Sam."

"Yeah, well…one small step, right?" Sam said.

"One small step," Freddie repeated. "How's it feel?"

"It feels perfect," Sam whispered. She cleared her throat and picked up one of the boxes. "Well, there's no way I'm getting even half of this stuff unpacked today. I hope everyone doesn't mind eating in a cluttered house when they come over tonight."

"It will be fine," Freddie said. "It's sort of sad, though. This is the last night before Carly leaves tomorrow morning."

"I know," Sam sighed. "But she said she'll be back in a few months. I mean, she has a _house _here now. That kind of _forces _her to come back here, right?"

"She'll come back," Freddie said.

"I know she will," Sam said. "I'll miss her though. I really will."


	29. Chapter 29

Sam was really getting used to living in her new home. It had been almost a full month since she moved in, and things were going great. It felt almost…liberating not to be trapped in a house that seemed so haunted by her worst memory.

She didn't feel afraid every night when she went to sleep, she didn't feel her chest pang when she stepped into the living room and she didn't jump at every sound she heard.

The restaurant was doing well also. Sam found that her mind seemed so much _clearer _these days, and it was remarkable how much more she was able to focus when she wasn't worrying about how Roxy was doing and when her next panic attack was coming. She was finally staring to feel like she was back to living her dream when she was there again.

And then there was Freddie…

True to both their words, they had been taking things slow. At first Sam wondered whether Freddie minded that; whether he was starting to yearn to go further faster. But Freddie seemed perfectly happy with the pace him and Sam were going at. He smiled like he had won the jackpot every time he held her hand. He still told her she was beautiful when they would go to the local diner for dinner or take Roxy and Liam to the gazebo to fish. And when they kissed, his cheeks still reddened slightly and his dark eyes still sparkled with pure delight.

…

One morning, Sam slowly opened her eyes, wondering what had woken her up since her alarm hadn't yet gone off. It was her day off, but she still needed to wake up early to take Roxy to preschool.

She sat up and was hit with the scent of French toast coming from the kitchen.

"Why do I smell food?" Sam mumbled, wiping the sleep from her eyes. "Oh jeez…please tell me Roxy didn't wake up early and try to make her own breakfast again. I think I'm still scraping eggs from the ceiling from _last-_"

Suddenly her eyes widened as she caught sight of the clock on her bedside table. It was almost noon! Roxy was over three hours late for preschool!

"Damn it!" Sam cursed, jumping from bed and sliding on her shoes. "Roxy! Roxy, wake up! We're late! My alarm must not have gone off!"

As she raced out into the kitchen, she was surprised to see Freddie standing at the stove, a plate of French toast in his hand.

"Hey, look who's finally up," Freddie smiled.

"Hey…what are you doing here?" Sam asked.

Freddie held up his key. "Thought I'd come by and make you food for once. You know, since it _is _your day off."

"Well I'll have to eat it in the car," Sam said. "I need to get Roxy to preschool for the last two hours of class. I overslept and-"

"Roxy's already at school," Freddie said. "I took her."

"You-You-"

"Sam, for someone who prided herself in using absolutely no energy in high school, you really don't know how to relax that well now," Freddie said, his eyes sparkling. "Today I decided you were going to get back to your Samish ways…well, at least until Roxy gets home from school. Then you should probably use a little bit of energy. So I came by this morning, turned off your alarm clock, got Roxy and Liam ready and let you sleep in."

"Well where's Liam?" Sam questioned.

"Kenna and Garry said they'd keep him at the restaurant with them," Freddie said. "You know, he's really good for business. People seem willing to spend more when they're in the presence of a cute baby."  
Sam rolled her eyes. "He is pretty cute."

"Takes after his mom," Freddie said, placing a quick kiss on her lips. He handed her the plate of French toast. "Um, just so you know, that's sort of the frozen stuff; I didn't make it from scratch. Well, I tried to, but then it burned and Roxy told me I wasn't that good of a chef…"

"Hey, French toast is French toast," Sam said, taking a bite. "Oh my God…this stuff is so good!"

"Yeah, well…aisle eight of the grocery store," Freddie shrugged. "Why don't you go back in bed and eat that? I'll clean up the kitchen."

"Nah, just leave it for now," Sam said. "Hey, why don't you come with me? We can watch lame game shows and make fun of the contestants."

Freddie smirked. "Sure…because what else would you do during a game show?"

He followed Sam back to the bedroom and the two hopped onto the unmade bed.

Sam grabbed the remote from her nightstand and turned on the T.V.

"Hey, you remember that one game show we always used to watch? _Celebrities Underwater_?"

"Duh, that was the best game show ever!" Freddie grinned, putting an arm around her, smiling as she got a bit of maple syrup on her chin. "I thought you never liked it."

"I didn't, but it was so addicting," Sam said. "I wonder if that show is still on."  
"Probably, on some random channel that comes with the deluxe, deluxe, _deluxe _cable package," Freddie said. "Hey, leave this show on! It's the one where all the contestants try and guess the prices of stuff."

"Who even _thought _of this show?" Sam asked, rolling her eyes as she continued to eat her French toast. "I mean did someone really go to a T.V. producer and say 'Hey, let's have a game where people stand around and guess the price of toothpaste'?"

"And yet that _Galaxy Wars _spin-off series never picked up," Freddie sighed sadly.

"Yeah, well, that was a stupid idea too," Sam said simply.

"It was not!" Freddie defended. "That _Girly Cow _junk…_that _was a stupid show."

"That show _happened _to be very educational, Fredwad," Sam pointed out.

"_How_? It was about a talking cow in a dress!"

"It taught me lots of stuff," Sam said. "Like not to try and roll down hills in shopping carts or to try and make soup in toilets."

"You tried _both _those things at least once when you were a kid."

"Yes…but I knew they were wrong, thanks to _Girly Cow_."

Freddie laughed as Sam finished the last of your breakfast. "Hey, you have a little maple syrup on your face."

"Where?" Sam asked, grabbing a tissue.

"Here, I got it," Freddie said, gently leaning down and connecting his lips with hers.

Sam readily responded, kissing him back passionately.

As they sat there, the kiss began to deepen. Sam's arms found their way around Freddie's neck and Freddie's wandering hands rested on Sam's waist.

Slowly, and without disconnecting their lips, Sam moved onto his lap, feeling dizzy from the wonderful sensation she was feeling. Her hands carefully found their way to the buttons of Freddie's shirt and began to undo them one at a time.

"Sam-" Freddie began, his face flushed and his breathing heavy.

"God," Sam whispered, looking right into his eyes. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Freddie said softly. "So much…"

He gently flipped her over and began planting kisses down her neck, pulling down her pajama top as he went.

Sam smiled, running her fingers through his hair.

"Sam," Freddie moaned, kissing her again. "Oh God, Sam…"

"Freddie…" she whispered back. "Freddie…I love you."

As he heard his name, Freddie's chest surged with an overwhelming feeling of jubilation and he kissed her again, this time more passionately than ever before.

….

"Wow," Freddie whispered nearly an hour later, as him and Sam both lay in her bed, still wrapped in the others' arms.

"You've said that like six times already," Sam grinned, kissing the tip of his nose.

"Well it was really 'wow' worthy," Freddie chuckled. He hugged her tighter. "God, I love you so much."

"You've said that six times already too."

"What? Are you keeping count of my corny lines now?"

"Well somebody has to," Sam smirked. "But I've got to say…you _were _pretty…_wow_ too."

"Thank you," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey," Sam said softly, taking his hand. "Thanks for this morning. For the frozen French toast and taking care of Roxy and Liam and finally giving me a _real _day off."

"Any time," Freddie said. "I mean, I _did _wind up having a pretty good time myself."

"I know you did," Sam said, kissing him again.

When the two pulled apart, Sam looked at her clock. "Hey, It's only one."

"So?" Freddie said.

"So, I don't have to pick Roxy up from preschool until _two_," Sam said slowly. "You get where I'm going with this?"

"Hmmm," Freddie said in mock thoughtfulness. "Are you suggesting we engage in stimulating conversation about the state of our nation's economy?"

"How about something with a little less talking and boring junk?" Sam grinned as Freddie rolled over on top of her.

"Yeah…I like your idea more," he laughed.

Sam laughed too, kissing him again.

Everybody was right, Sam realized. She didn't need to rush into things to finally move on. The moment when everything would suddenly click into place and she wouldn't feel like making love to Freddie was the easy solution to finally getting over her past would come when it was time, and when it did, she would know.

And she did; she did know.

This was it. This was the moment.

And it felt more magical than Sam could've ever imagined.

"I love you, Freddie," she whispered once again. "I love you."

…..

**AN-So this is the last OFFICIAL chapter of this story. Tomorrow I will be posting an epilogue that will tie up all the loose ends and bring more closure to the story. Just wanted to say a quick thanks to all of you who have supported this story; you guys are the best!**


	30. Chapter 30

_Three Years Later_

Sam stood under the shade of a large tree as she stared off at her two children a short ways away from her.

Today was the day.

It was her and Freddie's wedding day.

Today she was going to make the vow to spend the rest of the life with him, and she couldn't be more excited.

After their first year together, Sam knew her and Freddie would stay together. They were perfect for each other, after all. He made her feel like a princess and she kept him on his toes.

Still, Sam had never thought she'd marry him. She loved him, yes, but to put their love in such final terms would just make it hurt more if something were to ever happen to either of them. Sam was determined to never have to go through the pain of losing a husband again.

But on their fifteen-month anniversary, when Freddie took her to New York and proposed to her right outside the Broadway theatre on their way to see her favorite play, she suddenly knew she wanted to do it. She wanted to officially be able to call Freddie her husband. Because deep down she knew; living your life afraid to take a risk just wasn't worth it.

So she had said yes, and never once did she regret her decision.

Carly had dived right into the wedding planning, not to the surprise of Sam or Freddie at all. Kenna had helped too, though she, like Sam, did not have Carly's patience for spending entire days in dress shops.

Kenna still pursed her lips and crossed her arms whenever Carly was around, but for Sam's sake, she was civil. Sam knew there was no way the two would ever be good friends, but Sam appreciated that Kenna never talked bad of Carly in front of her or acted upset that the two had made up. And when Sam asked Kenna to be her maid of honor, Kenna had even insisted that she give the honor to both her _and _Carly.

And now here she was…exactly six hours away from being Mrs. Benson. Well, Puckett-Benson, at least.

Figuring it was only a matter of time before she began getting bombarded with phone calls demanding her whereabouts and whether she had even _attempted _to begin getting ready, Sam stepped over towards her two children, trying not to think about how much being in this cemetery crept her out.

Roxy and Liam were both sitting at the base of Aiden's tombstone. Roxy was reading the same storybook her and Aiden read to her every night before he died out loud, and Liam was intently listening.

Roxy and Liam both adored Freddie; both were more than thrilled to have him as their step-father. But both still liked to come here on occasion and talk to Aiden. Just this morning they told her that they wanted to go say hi to daddy before they began getting ready for the wedding.

Freddie knew, and he didn't mind. He had even taken them here himself one afternoon when Sam had been at the restaurant and they told him they wanted to go.

"They should remember their father," Freddie told her.

And Sam completely agreed.

"Alright you guys, we need to head out soon," Sam said, kneeling down next to her two kids. "I need to start getting dressed."

"It takes you that long to get dressed?" seven-year old Roxy frowned.

Sam smiled. "You know how complicated that dress is to get into? It's probably going to take me an hour just to figure out where the front is."

"Mommy?" three-year old Liam said, picking up the picture of Aiden Roxy always brought when they visited. "This is daddy?"

"Yes, that's your daddy, sweetie," Sam said gently. "You see how much you look like him?"

"Why did daddy never see me?" Liam asked.

Sam stroked his hair. She had talked to Liam about this before, but he was still too young to really understand. "I told you, honey, daddy died before you were born. Trust me, he wanted to get meet you so badly. He named you, you know?"

"Is Freddie my daddy now?"

"Step-daddy," Sam corrected. "Freddie loves you very, very much. He's going to take care of you and your sister just as if he _was _your daddy."

"Okay!" Liam smiled happily, hugging his mother tightly.

Sam chuckled. She knew Liam didn't exactly understand still. But one day he would.

"Bye-bye, daddy," Roxy said, getting to her feet. "I'll tell you about how my soccer game goes next time. I hope I score a goal for you!"

"Bye-bye daddy," Liam said, mimicking his big sister.

"Hey, guys," Sam said, looking over at the field next to the cemetery. "Look at all those flowers over there. Why don't you go get some so we can fill up Roxy's flower girl basket even more?"

"Cool!" Roxy exclaimed, running off towards the field. "Come on Liam, let's go!"

"I'm coming!" Liam yelled, trying to keep up with her on his tiny legs.

Sam watched the two for a moment, before turning back to Aiden's grave.

Usually when she took the kids here, she stood under the tree and watched until the end, when she would walk over, smile sadly, then say goodbye as she led the kids back to the car.

She never knew what else to do.

"Hi, Aiden," Sam said softly for the first time in what felt like centuries. "It's been awhile, huh? I haven't forgotten about you or anything, but I've just…I just never knew what to say."

She settled down onto the ground. "I miss you," she said. "I really do." She looked down at her lap. "But you probably know that-that…I'm getting married today. To that Freddie Benson guy I told you about once or twice. He's-He's a great man. He treats me right, he loves the kids, and they love him…"

"I just needed to move on," Sam continued in a whisper. "And I fell in love with Freddie. I know-I know you would've never wanted me to live the rest of my life alone and miserable. I wouldn't have wanted you to, either."

She sighed. "Look…I-I know there was so much more you wanted to do. You wanted take Roxy to her first baseball game. You wanted to see her first day of kindergarten. You wanted to scare the crap out of her first date and see her graduate high school and go off to college and dance with her at her wedding. And you-you wanted the chance to hold Liam, and see him take his first steps. You wanted to take him on that camping trip you dreamed about since they day you found out he was a boy and have that awkward talk with him about the birds and the bees and see him grow up to be a man just like you. And-And us…we were supposed to go to Paris for our ten-year anniversary. We were supposed to take those stupid couple's scuba lessons together. We wanted one more baby together. We were supposed to retire to Florida one day and live the rest of our lives on the beach with the dog we'd adopt to keep us company and entertain the grandkids when they came to visit. That's where we were supposed to end. But we ended so much earlier than that…it wasn't fair. It will never be fair, Aiden."

She looked back over at Roxy and Liam, still playing in the field. "Freddie will look after them for you. He'll be there for them. He'll threaten Roxy's first boyfriend and he'll have that talk with Liam. They need a father figure, and Freddie will be the best step-father out there, I know that. But…"

She gave a small fire. "I'll never let them forget their daddy. I'll make sure you live on forever in their hearts. They'll always know all about their father, and how wonderful of a man he was."

She slowly got to her feet. "I'm marrying Freddie because I love him. Not because I'm trying to force you out of my memories, because we'll always have those Aiden. I love Freddie so much, but I'll never forget the amazing seven years you gave me."

She sighed again. "I just wish I knew if you were okay with all of this…"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a huge gust of wind came through the cemetery, blowing Sam's hair in all directions. She clutched her arms closer to her body. And then she heard the echo of Aiden's voice from years ago…

"_The wind is nature's way of letting you know everything's okay."_

Sam smiled and nodded. "Thanks, Aiden."

…..

"Okay, one more layer of lipstick….there! Perfect!" Carly beamed as she re-fluffed Sam's veil.

"You remember your vows?" Kenna asked, fixing the train of Sam's dress.

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "Yeah, I remember them."

"Mommy?" Roxy asked, playing with the hem of her flower girl dress. "Are you and Freddie going to kiss?"

Sam chuckled. "Yup."

"Gross!"

"You've seen me and Freddie kiss before, Roxy," Sam said, rolling her eyes.

"It's _always _gross, mom," Roxy replied.

"Try to not take too long walking down the aisle, Sam," Kenna smirked, resting her hand on her swollen abdomen. "Those of us who are eight months pregnant can't stand for a gazillion hours."

"I swear, you go into labor at my wedding and I'll kill you," Sam joked. "And don't worry. Have you seen the cake at the reception? I want to get there as soon as possible!"

"Yeah, yeah," Kenna laughed. "So, you're leaving for your honeymoon tonight. Any chance you and Freddie will come back with you carrying a new playmate for little Garry Jr.?"

"Maybe," Sam said simply. "You never know…And _please _tell me you're not naming your kid Garry Jr."

"Nah, it's just a placeholder," Kenna assured her. "Speaking of Garry, I'm gonna go find him. He has my stash of craving foods. Come on Roxy and Liam, we need to get you in position."

"Wait, one last hug before I get married, you two," Sam said, holding her arms out for her children.

As they ran into her embrace she kissed them both on their head. "Love you guys," she whispered.

When Kenna had taken the children, Carly and Sam were left alone.

"So how's Freddie?" Sam asked, taking another look at herself in the mirror.

"Nervous," Carly replied. "But the good nervous. I once read that if the couple isn't at least a little anxious before they get married, it's bad luck."

"Well is everything going okay out in the church?" Sam asked. "Is everybody here? Is the priest here? Did-"

"Sam, everything's fine, Kenna and I made sure of that," Carly said. "All you have to do is walk down the aisle and marry Freddie."

Sam smiled. "I guess I can manage that…Hey, um, thanks for all your help, by the way. I would've never managed to pull this together without you."

"Yeah, well, what are friends for?" Carly shrugged.

Sam held her arms out for Carly and held her tightly. "You're a really good friend, Carly. Know that."

Carly beamed as she wiped her eyes. "Thanks, Sam," she whispered. She straightened out her dress. "Well, I should go. The wedding's starting in ten minutes. You know what to do, right?"

"I've got it, Carls," Sam said.

"Alright, well, break a leg out there," Carly told her, giving her one last smile before turning and heading out the door.

Sam took a deep breath as she stepped off the stool in front of the mirror. Ten more minutes…Ten more minutes. She supposed she should go wait outside the church doors like she was supposed to.

As she poked her head into the hallway, though, she spotted Freddie coming out of the next room.

"Yo! Fredwad!"

Freddie spun around. "Sam!" he said. "Aw man! I'm not supposed to see you before the ceremony! It's bad luck."

Sam rolled her eyes. "You didn't see the dress, just my head. Besides, I'm not superstitious. And neither are you."

"Well…yeah," Freddie nodded. "But-"

"Hey, come in here for a sec," Sam said. "You can close your eyes so you don't see my dress and upset the magical marriage spirits."

Freddie laughed, but he still closed his eyes firmly as Sam led her into her dressing room.

"You look beautiful," Freddie said.

"You can't even see me," Sam scoffed.

"I don't need to," Freddie said.

Sam felt her face redden. "Jeez, if your vows are as cheesy as that, I might actually cry up there. And then Carly will rip you apart for making me smear my mascara."

"So what did you want to see me for?" Freddie asked.

"I just wanted to tell you I love you one last time before we're up there in front of all those people," Sam replied, gently taking his hands.

Freddie grinned. "Well I love you too, Sam. And I can't wait until we're husband and wife in just…"

"Nine minutes," Sam said. "Which means you probably should get to the alter. I know it would just about kill the King of Punctuality to be late for his own wedding."

"Yeah, it would," Freddie agreed. He turned to go, but then quickly spun back around and somehow blindly found Sam's lips and gave her a quick kiss.

"Our last kiss as just an engaged couple," he said. "From now on, every kiss will be the kiss of a married couple."

"Very sweet, but you smudged my lipstick, you dork!" Sam said playfully. "Now go so I can fix it before I walk down the aisle and make you tear up when you see how hot I look in this dress."

"I'll be looking forward to it," Freddie said.

Sam watched him leave, realizing how long even those nine minutes away from him were going to be.

And so once Sam's lipstick was perfect once again, Sam took a deep breath and stepped out of the room, ready to take start in the next great adventure of her life.

One that would now have Freddie in it.

….

**AN-That's it! The story's officially over! Thanks again to everybody who read/reviewed/supported this story! You guys are all fantastic and you keep giving the motivation to write :) **


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